posted for traffic...can I refuse a SS meeting?

[ssquestion]

The circumstances are quite sensitive and identifying so this may be a bit vague.

I've been contacted by SS who want a meeting with me about my DC (over 16 but under 18).

My view is DC are over 16, not at school, not children and therefore don't need child protection. They are suggesting a meeting with me and then me and DC.

Can I refuse? Apart from anything else, I have no annual leave left til Xmas, so if I did meet them I'd be losing a days pay, which isn't great.

Eamonn how do you propose a grown man analysis raping a three year old gets 'sorted out within the family'?

So much of what social workers deal with is well beyond children moving home that your 'advice' would get children killed. slow clap

*anally

It is v simple op. They think the convicted person lives with you and your children.
They are trying to protect your kids because they are still technically children in the eyes of the law.
They will not just accept your word over the phone that this person does not live with you. They are lied to all the time
Just have the meeting and clear it up. Simple !

Flapjack I reckon they would have just done the visit by now if it was that

There appears to be a belief on MN that SS only ever do the right thing, always follow procedure and are perfectly fair in their assessment of situations. I have extensive documented proof of multiple occasions when they went against legal guidelines, manipulated situations and attempted to make an issue worse.

Now they can't get involved in anything to do with my DS, we've raised a series of legal complaints.
You wouldn't dare whilst they are involved.

Approach with caution and know your rights.

Since 2001 eamonn

*There appears to be a belief on MN that SS only ever do the right thing, always follow procedure and are perfectly fair in their assessment of situations. I have extensive documented proof of multiple occasions when they went against legal guidelines, manipulated situations and attempted to make an issue worse.

Now they can't get involved in anything to do with my DS, we've raised a series of legal complaints.
You wouldn't dare whilst they are involved.

Approach with caution and know your rights*

Fair play to you. It's like an alternative universe on here.

I had a shocking experience with SS and they won't be darkening my door again.

I do hope all the social workers on here think it's essential to be polite to parents and treat them as equals. Addressing a patent as "mum, referring to her as "mum" in reports is reductive when it other humans have names. I don't expect social workers want to be called "soshe", etc.

There appears to be a belief on MN that SS only ever do the right thing, always follow procedure and are perfectly fair in their assessment of situations

I've noticed that as well and how SS threads on MN quickly become hostile and very argumentative. There's supporters who think the sun shines out their arses and then others who take a more objective view

I've noticed that as well and how SS threads on MN quickly become hostile and very argumentative. There's supporters who think the sun shines out their arses and then others who take a more objective view

Some probably shout a bit louder after reading the sun shines out the arse posts

DC and the care of DC are very emotive topics, social work is a heavily criticised profession in some circles so a polarising topic. I have met some good ones, some mediocre ones and a couple that a couple that shouldn't have been in the profession, pretty much the same mix as any other profession.

Oh the roses - being called soshe would be quite polite!

As a sw I would always be polite and call someone as they requested. OP I would be be fine with someone asking me the consequences of not having a meeting. In fact I manage a team and anyone in my team would also. So it's probably better to give them a call and ask rather than us lot as we don't know anything about what the details are. I would hope they should then be honest with you and either say it would escalate their worries, or that maybe it's recommended but nothing would happen and the case would close. Try to speak to a manager if they don't answer you. At least then you know and can make your decision.
Someone earlier is right though. Sw are contracted 9-5. It may not be possible for someone to stay on especially as we are asked all the time to and would be working late every single night if we said yes every time so have to be boundaried about it. However some can make an exception dependant on their circumstances and if people are polite about asking and really seem to be stuck about arranging a day time visit.

Hope it all works out.

I had to dial 999 multiple times as a young teen because I was being beaten unconscious and sexually abused on a regular basis, police flat out refused to even investigate, refused to question or examine me, and called me "naughty" for "making up stories" about such a nice important man, and that if I stopped being so badly behaved my "stepfather" (not my stepfather, some guy my mother had only known a couple of months) wouldn't have to "discipline" me. SS completely ignored it and refused to get involved or to speak to me.

SS became involved only after I ran away and was sleeping rough. Even then their only action was to try to convince me to stop being silly and go home and try to be a good girl. When my mother refused to have me back they basically threatened me and intimidated me into retracting my "allegations" as part of a deal where my mother would agree to hand over her child support to me so I could to rent a bedsit until I was old enough to apply for benefits. Once I moved into the bedsit (which was the cheapest single room around, slum landlord, and dangerously unfit for human habitation) I was left completely alone, not one single meeting or even a phone call from SS to check up on me.

I would never voluntarily have anything to do with SS.

So sorry Hamburgler
So many people let you down

And shame on that dreadful man and on your mother for protecting him.

Absolutely horrendous, hamburgler

Hamburgler that's horrendous. Awful betrayal of trust from this "steofather" figure and your family. And then on top of that betrayal of trust from two professions, Social Workers and Police. They should have protected YOU not him.
I hope you've found strength from sonewhere despite those horrific experiences xx

I agree with you op, I gather your dc are 16.5/17, I would refuse. They are almost adults now.

Ohtheroses it's 'social wanker' trust me (adult) or 'council lady' (kids) though I have a lesson common first name so kids usually remember it.

I've never called a parent 'mum' in a report. In LAC reports you can get away with the parent first name but in cp and court reports its ms and mr and nothing else for the parents.

And to be honest even though I'm part of this system, I wouldn't want SS involvement unless absolutely necessary. But if my family did warrant involvement with any professionals I would try to cooperate and be honest as I now it makes it worse for all if not honest.

I do agree with Eamonn somewhat about families sorting their own issues out. Families are definately the experts on their situation. But sadly not all have childrens best interests at heart or able to protect hence SS input. Their are a lot of abusive adults out there.

OP I do hope you just agree to meet with them and that any concerns are easily allayed and the matter quickly closed. You can see how being defensive and vague on this thread has blew up somewhat but that doesn't have to be the case IRL if you just meet with them and be honest. If you do meet with them and have any queries I am happy to help via PM if you wish.
Hope all goes well and is quickly put to bed

They'd rather deal with people like us sadly hamburgler. People who have engaged private psychiatric consultancy care for a teenager whose case was closed by CAMHS when regularly cutting and taking small od's. Who refused A&E's referral the second time because they already knew CAMHS would do SFA. We did attend a second CAMHS assessment because of the SS referral. Guess wbatvthey SFÀ again. Would have been good if A&E had listened but no it's pretty clear that if one's teen is unwell the parent is automatically treated like shite.

As a result of that not nurse or doctor or social worker will ever have an informal working relationship with me again. It's Mrs Roses and it will never be negotiable.

But I suppose it's easier to treat professional, good people, who won't swear at you, who have beautiful homes, who love their children, etc, because it's a Shed load easier than being rude to someone off one of the estates who'd possibly give you a thump if you were as rude to them as you sorts of chaps were to me. If a nurse ever reports me again to SS and then thinks she can use my first name or call me "mum" she'll have another think coming to her.

Shame you sorts of people don't have time to deal with the Victoria Climbie's of thiz world but even in A&E that might have been harder than dealing with a white middle class parent who looked like a sitting target for a few pops.

A&E staff btw did not understand any of the statutory instruments as they applied to 16-18 year olds and not one person in A&E, CAMHS or SS behaved in a way that inspired confidence in relation to professional or clinical competence.

Sitting target. Yeh we collect referrals like prizes. Don't forget we have targets for adoptions and bonuses every time we remove a child.
And of course we hand pick cases in naice areas.

Meanwhile back in the real world......

Why has this thread turned into a "let's slag of all social worKers" thread?

Social work, just like any other profession, has people who are good at their job and people who aren't. The minority of people who have had a negative experience are now tarring all social workers with the same brush.

The very nature of their job means that they come across many unsavoury and, in many cases, upsetting situations and they often meet some extremely unpleasant people in the course of their job. Never mind, let's all slag them off and do away with the service

No, I'm not a social worker, but I have friends who are, and who are dedicated to their work. They are all good communicators, treat people with respect (and have English as their first language).