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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

posted for traffic...can I refuse a SS meeting?

431 replies

ssquestion · 22/09/2017 09:11

The circumstances are quite sensitive and identifying so this may be a bit vague.

I've been contacted by SS who want a meeting with me about my DC (over 16 but under 18).

My view is DC are over 16, not at school, not children and therefore don't need child protection. They are suggesting a meeting with me and then me and DC.

Can I refuse? Apart from anything else, I have no annual leave left til Xmas, so if I did meet them I'd be losing a days pay, which isn't great.

OP posts:

ToadsforJustice · 23/09/2017 15:34

OP, did you just receive a phone call from SS? Have you had any correspondence from them? Did the person you spoke to ask for a lot of information from you?

Jewlry · 23/09/2017 15:34

Any assumptions I've made have been based on your vagueness and defensive attitude.

EamonnWright · 23/09/2017 15:35

Queenofthedrivensnow

There were involved with their mother so the only reason they were involved with me was because they moved here. They're absolutely fine no thanks to SS.

Don't tell me what happened to me thanks.

Jewlry · 23/09/2017 15:35

Set the record straight then. What's the relatives relationship to you and what's the conviction?

Queenofthedrivensnow · 23/09/2017 15:39

Wow a few shoulder chips about ss

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 23/09/2017 15:40

Good grief you do sound difficult OP
It's so ridiculous to be so completely stuck on the "calling me "Mrs" when I am a "miss" " non issue.

But thanks for posting, because if you're for real it's a useful reminder for many about how obstructive, defensive and misguided some people can be.

NerrSnerr · 23/09/2017 15:43

If it wasn't a sexual or violent crime the OP would have said that it wasn't.

EamonnWright · 23/09/2017 15:43

Queenofthedrivensnow

When your experience is that they are useless fuckers what else do you think folk should say?

A social policy degree and a Volkswagen Polo does not a good person make.

ToadsforJustice · 23/09/2017 15:45

The reason why I am asking the above. If your family member was convicted and your DC were not victims, why are SS involved? Surely the time to become involved is during any investigation before the court case.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 23/09/2017 15:45

It's a social work degree and an HCPC registration. And I drive a touran

Jewlry · 23/09/2017 15:46

Toads ... it may be that the OP attending court and supporting the relative has flagged up a potential concern from SS

Original poster

ssquestion · 23/09/2017 15:47

I had a call (from someone I could barely understand) who addressed me by wrong name and title and claimed they were a SW and were coming to my house to see me. This was without even asking who I was. They could have been speaking to anyone!

I ended up being passed to a colleague as I said I couldn't understand them and asked if I could speak to someone else. The second person said the first wanted to arrange a meeting with me re family member and their conviction. I asked what the purpose was, they said it was because this person lived in our home. I said they don't, and never have. Second SW then said they weren't dealing with the case so couldn't discuss it further. I said if, having made it clear they didn't live here, a meeting was still essential, could they put it in writing what was required and why, but that I wasn't agreeing anything and I didn't want them just turning up at my home, not least because it would be a wasted trip as I'm out at work in the day.

I've now had a letter just asking for a meeting. No other info.

OP posts:

EamonnWright · 23/09/2017 15:48

Half those working don't have a Social Work degree but work because no other poor sap wants to do the job.

Some work there for ages on a temp contract.

LoislovesStewie · 23/09/2017 15:49

Well I've read every one of these posts and my opinion is this : arrange the meeting ,be polite,advise you have no A/L , please could the meeting me o/side office hours? It might be possible to meet after 5 but from my experience of working with social services , offices close at 5. ( There are out of hours social workers just to clarify but they deal with emergency situations) . A building can't normally be kept open because one person cannot make office hours. We could see clients before 9 if necessary as other staff were about but I don't know if that is possible in this case. Up until the age of 18 young people can still be classified as 'a child in need' and therefore dealt with by SS.There are good social workers and ones who really should not be doing the job just as there are good and bad in any job. The problem is that if you decide from the beginning to be awkward you aren't likely to get the best service. I worked as a homeless officer for many years and met many clients who would tell me I was asking too many questions , even if I explained why I was asking they were still stroppy. Sometimes the client was lacking in intelligence/insight, sometimes they had something to hide, sometimes they were used to getting their own way by being stroppy and thought that I would just give them what they wanted even when what they wanted did not exist . God knows what social workers got when they were asking questions. Just arrange the meeting and get it over with.

Bellainey · 23/09/2017 15:49

Or the relative was subject to court bail conditions preventing contact with children. Now that person is sentenced the conditions are no longer in place.

Jewlry · 23/09/2017 15:50

Eamonn I don't have a Social Policy degree
I have ...
A degree in Humanities
A degree in Social Work
A postqualifying masters in Social Work
A postqualifying specialist award in Social Work
I drive an Audi

Original poster

ssquestion · 23/09/2017 15:50

SS are not aware I was at court.

I'm perfectly entitled to object to being called Mrs. I use Ms.

A man would be entitled to object to being called Mrs. Why should I not be afforded the same courtesy? It's as inaccurate to call a man Mrs as it is to use that title to me.

OP posts:

Autumnskiesarelovely · 23/09/2017 15:54

Why wouldn't you want to go? If they are involved it must be a potentially serious issue.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 23/09/2017 15:55

You can't practice as a sw in the U.K. Without being registered and the correct qualifications. We have to reregister every 2 years. All agency staff (temp) are subject to the same regulations. However agency staff have more regular dbs checks.

Social worker is a protected title just like nurse or teacher or gp.

The register is displayed publicly and can be viewed by anyone.

Eamonn or anyone else you can check the register here

www.hcpc-uk.org/

EamonnWright · 23/09/2017 15:57

That's nice.

Now in the real world I wouldn't advise anyone to have anything to do with SS. I tell anyone I know with problems to sort it out themselves within their families.

EamonnWright · 23/09/2017 15:59

Queenofthedrivensnow

I'm staying fact and don't have a dog in the fight anymore.

People are working as social Workers without the proper qualifications.

DrKrogersfavouritepatient · 23/09/2017 15:59

You really do focus on the imprtant things OP
The use of your correct title
Supporting an adult family member during their court appearance relating to their criminal offenses
Making sure you're not inconvenienced by professionals with a vested interest in safeguarding your children.

coolaschmoola · 23/09/2017 15:59

As a number of people have, I'm wondering if this was an indecent images of children offence. Perhaps a creating indecent images of children offence. If so I wonder whose faces were put on the images? If it were family members SS would probably know and contact the parent/s...

EamonnWright · 23/09/2017 16:00

As a number of people have, I'm wondering if this was an indecent images of children offence.

It's something off field for sure.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 23/09/2017 16:01

Look them up then

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