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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

breastfeeding in public...

99 replies

Schwanengesang · 22/09/2017 04:20

Out to lunch with parents. DS (10 months) wanted a feed, I gave him one. My dad went to the loo. Mother gets total catsbumface look on and says "it's like you live in a different world from normal people. That's disgusting, noone needs to see that. But you always have been mannerless and selfish. You're a complete embarrassment."

I am used to her so just said with a raised eyebrow "well thank god the world has moved on from opinions like yours"

Christ on a bike. It's 2017. Nothing was visible (feeding vest, loose top, cardigan, DS' large head covering the tiny bit of exposed boob.

Not a surprise really coming from my mother (she loves being nasty when noone else is listening) but do people really think it's not ok to breastfeed in public???

OP posts:
EatTheChocolateTeapot · 24/09/2017 22:22

Your mother's comments reflect only on her. Have you heard about projection?
In the UK, the law says that you have the right to breastfeed your baby in public places, including cafes, shops, etc... Basically if you have a right to be there, you have a right to breastfeed and it is illegal to treat you unfavourably or ask you to move/hide/stop.

Neverknowing · 24/09/2017 22:24

I've honestly heard so many more negative things about breastfeeding than formula feeding. The general public seem to think that formula feeding is best, I constantly hear 'your baby won't sleep through the night on breast milk' and that babies aren't getting enough ffs what did people do before formula?! Either choice is a positive one as long as the baby is happy and fed what does it matter ?
Breasts are for producing milk, we wouldn't have breasts if it wasn't for that so why would it be disgusting. It's the most natural thing in the world.

abigailgabble · 24/09/2017 22:32

Shock if anyone or my mother had that attitude I would tell them to fuck the fuck off. Why can't you see your dad without her? You just say "only you please dad as we are still disgusting".

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 24/09/2017 22:40

neverknowing

I constantly hear 'your baby won't sleep through the night on breast milk'

I get told this all the time, asked why I'm still Bf because my baby doesn't sleep through, why don't I give her formula before bedtime to fill her up.

  1. she doesn't like bottles and cba to train her to take one when I don't actually need to.
  1. she will sleep through eventually, people seem to be more bothered than me that I'm not getting full nights sleep
  1. I cba to clean and sterilise bottles and prep them before going out I like to grab a nappy wipes and leave it's so much easier
  1. I really don't care. I'm happy she's happy.
SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 24/09/2017 22:42

oh and I forgot

  1. formula makes her go pale and throw up so I don't want to give her formula before bed to then have to get up to bath her, change her clothes and bedding every night to then have to Bf her anyway to calm her down
midnightmisssuki · 24/09/2017 22:42

i didn't even bother with a nursing cover with my son - he is just so fussy. I feed him everywhere too - walking along a bridge to shopping for groceries - people don't even notice. I even fed him when i went to asia (which is conservative) and while my sister loves to say I'm a flasher (in a jokey sort of way) i don't care and will feed him as and when.

Carry on OP - you're doing just fine!

Ohyesiam · 24/09/2017 22:43

So sorry that your mum is so staggeringly unkind to you opFlowers.
X

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 24/09/2017 22:44

*midnightmisssuki

i didn't even bother with a nursing cover with my son*

me neither they're such a faf

Hatstand · 24/09/2017 22:48

I bf at a bus stop t'other day Grin

Blahblahboo · 24/09/2017 22:48

I breastfeed in public but I do think that for the comfort of other people you should have to cover up. It's only fair and respectful as I wouldn't like someone to lobb their tits out on the next table to me.

LondonNicki · 24/09/2017 23:05

Your baby needed feeding. Jesus - I can't understand this attitude of your mum. Did she want your child to go hungry? I'd not meet her for lunch again to be honest.

Neverknowing · 24/09/2017 23:14

@SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 the funny thing is my DD does sleep through the night! I also co slept and haven't really had a sleepless night since she's been born.
It's honestly all so silly, if you're happy baby is happy and I was happy breastfeeding 😂

threecee · 24/09/2017 23:16

Why didn't you give the baby some real food if you were all having lunch ?

PlasticPatty · 24/09/2017 23:30

OP, I didn't read the whole thread. Your mother, forgive me, is a cunt, and your dad is spineless.
Mine were like that for the first few months. When I was still feeding my four year old, they were ok with it. And my dad asked me for advice when his goats got mastitis...

Brenna24 · 24/09/2017 23:31

threecee Is breastmilk fake food?

threecee · 25/09/2017 13:54

Obviously not (I se what you were trying to do there !) but given that you were at the lunch table I wondered why you didn't take the opportunity to give the baby some baby food you didn't bring with you in a breast, it was just a thought.Then Dad wouldn't have had to go to the Loo and Mum couldn't do her funny face.

NerrSnerr · 25/09/2017 14:01

Threecee why does it matter? Maybe the baby was going to have 'real food' as well? She shouldn't have to adjust how she feeds her child because he parents don't agree with giving a child milk!

Montsti · 25/09/2017 14:05

I have no problem with people bfing in public (I do find it strange when women flaunt it though and are not relatively subtle about it) but I personally struggle doing it...and hide away which really is a bit ridiculous but that's my issue..

But your mum sounds like a complete bitch - try to ignore it!

mirime · 25/09/2017 14:07

@Blahblahboo DS would never tolerate a cover. It's possible to feed discreetly without one, I never had anyone react in any way to me feeding him so I'm guessing most people were oblivious to what I was doing.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis · 25/09/2017 14:11

Threecee when mine were that age, they'd have solids followed by a bf.

jellypi3 · 25/09/2017 14:13

that's terrible OP. I hope it hasn't shaken your confidence in breastfeeding. I still feed my 20 month old when she wants it, which is rare these days but I've never had a negative comment, especially not from close family.

threecee why is that even relevant? Milk should be a babies main source of nutrition until they are 1. The OP probably did give her 10month old some lunch but she quite rightly also gave him breastmilk.

Thataintnoetchasketch · 25/09/2017 14:28

I haven't encountered any negative attitudes when feeding DS in public but I did have to take my gran aside and tell her if she didn't keep her opinions to herself she'd see a lot less of me & LO. Her critisism isn't limited to breast feeding though - she visibly squirms on the odd occasion she sees me feeding him now at 21 months but she knows in no uncertain terms not to say anything.

RubyWho · 25/09/2017 14:33

Your mother is a twat. Ignore. Sorry OP.

TheCatsMother99 · 25/09/2017 14:45

Why didn't you give the baby some real food if you were all having lunch?

Odd comment.

gandalfspants · 25/09/2017 14:48

Flowers sorry your mother is so awful to you.

My 'D'M likes to put me down too, hence we are quite low contact. Like you, it limits the time I get spend with my DF, but I tell myself he's made his bed by letting her be awful to me all these years and he's perfectly capable of making arrangements without her should he so wish.

If she behaved like yours has on a visit I wouldn't be seeing her for the rest of the trip.

She doesn't comment of breastfeeding as we had that argument before I did it and I made it clear she could button it or bugger off, but she manages to get other digs in (about my appearance - DH was sure to leave me because my pre-pregnancy jeans were too loose and looked unkempt 6 weeks post partum due to HG meaning I weighed less after pregnancy than before, my returning to work, how much she 'worries' about me, where baby should sleep, how many pets I can 'cope' with, how much 'my' choices and general un-housewife-ishness impact my 'poor' husband, the list is endless).