to think what kids eat here is not really healthy?

[aeromint]

I am a live in au pair who entered this country just two months ago, taking care of a 8 year old boy for the past 6 weeks and his diet seems to be made of cornflakes, sausages, burger, string cheese and lunchmeat sandwiches.. aren't these, er, junk food?? That's what we would term them in my country. I really dislike making sausages every other evening to him, but this is what I have been instructed to do... Some of my friends also tell me that the kids in their homes eat mostly this kind of food...

How can this be healthy? I am honestly puzzled.

I grew up in a country where we followed this combination of foods for all three meals of the day - one carb item (usually rice or wheat based item), one or more vegetable medley (compulsory), a dip/sauce made from either a veggie or pulses and a fried item like shrimp or cassava crackers. And lots of seasonal fresh fruits, nuts and buttermilk throughout the day. Proper meat-based meals was usually on Sundays and special occasion / rituals day etc (about 1-2 times a month but it will be like a festival with too much of it) - so, a treat, not normal occurance. Basically, we had vegetables every single meal....

So... the only vegetable I see my kid (I use the word my very loosely) eat is carrots or potatoes smothered in ketchup (which is full of sugar?)... but he eats processed meat everyday, he packs a sandwich to his school and has cornflakes for breakfast... On weekends he has potato waffles or pancakes.... not sure what he eats for dinner, but his mum cooks a roast on sundays with potatoes and peas.. I am always invited to join them on sunday lunch and I love it but I miss the vegetables! Like broccoli, spinach, cauliflower, radish, asparagus...

Will AIBU to gently suggest her to include more veggies or should I just mind my own business?

(Sorry if the details here are a bit vague, I know my host mom is a member on this site, don't want to out myself...!)

I did not mean to be smug. I am just confused and puzzled. It's been a culture shock to me, the weather, the people, child care arrangements... I am just trying to understand how to blend in and help. Yes, I would like to know how to get my charge eat more healthy but I do feel he should not be eating so much processed meat and so little veggies at his age... I cannot lie about feeling this way, it's NOT a judgement on anything, I just want to know how to help him eat better. This is my primary goal.

OP yo don't sound judgey at all. In fact you sound lovely and this family is lucky to find you

Sadly this very narrow diet is very very common in UK children

Some people in the UK are very lazy and unhealthy. Whenever I have been to Europe

This is why Brexit won.

I just want to know how to help him eat better. This is my primary goal.

How much freedom do you have to cook and shop for food?

Otherwise, not sure anyone can help you with this.

I'm a nanny so a little different as I buy and meal plan for my charge. But those things you describe are to me once a week treat foods.

not sure how you would approach this with mum though.

Yep. An overweight person at my work moans about being fat and paying for a gym membership - when they live 3 miles away from work and drive instead of cycle!

That is bad, but yeah I know people who DRIVE a ten to 15 minute walk!

And I agree that people are getting defensive on here - although it is natural if they feel attacked by someone who is new to this country. But the OP has a point, and we are a bit of a lazy nation, with a large percentage of obese people, with all sorts of conditions and illnesses relating to the weight.

I have been to Europe many times (and lived there for a short spell,) and they are way healthier over there, and walk and cycle a LOT more. I don't think anyone is meaning to attack anyone, but we can't deny the facts; we are an overweight and lazy nation.

Someone said on the previous page that it's unusual for kids to eat unhealthily over here. It's really not. Many kids have appalling eating habits. Not all of course, but many do. I don't know why people are denying it. A fifth of children under 11 are obese in this country, and a THIRD of teenagers. They didn't get that way through eating apples and celery!

Where are you from @aeromint ? (Sorry if you have said already.)

Come to Spain. My 12yo student's breakfast consists of a Kitkat and Monster drink. Mediterranean diet, eh?

There are shit cooks/parents/eaters all over the world. My 6yo son eats shedloads of healthy options A B and C, but refuses to touch healthy options D E or F.

I have to clear my plate growing up and carrots mixed into my mashed potato would talke me 2 hours + to eat. I have huge issues around food. If i had been encouraged to try a bit but leave it if i didn't like it yet try again a few months later, perhaps i'd have a better relationship with food. I don't know.

To trash one parents' options for their child is pne thing, a whole country's children a whole other thing

Peaceand love and others who suggested cooking activities with him, thank you, I will do this as an afterschool activity soon.

Faithless, you are right, his parents are very busy. They are very nice, cheerful people, I like them very much. They leave at 7am and come home by 7pm so I pretty much have solre charge... the HM gives me a time table every weekend on what I should feed the kid for the next week. She likes routine.

happygirly and others, thanks for making me realise that this diet is not the norm here for kids. I am happy to know that, and happy to be corrected.

Terrylene, thank you for sharing your story. Makes me realise that this is not as easy or simple as just trying to persuade a kid to eat healthy... I am learning so much here. Thanks once again, to all of you.

I can't see the point of making kids eat something that makes them gag or indeed be sick. That used to be the culture here - you'll stay at the dinner table until midnight and eat what's on the plate -
I agree with this so much. I remember being sick when forced to eat baked beans (threw up over my nans new sofa, never made to those again at least), I can't be near them now without wanting to throw up. I ended up with so many issues around food, certain textures/smells are just a no no for me.

My mum used to cook veg until it was mush (thinks she's an amazing cook), I prefer mine a bit more solid! My dads ex wife used to make instant mash (vom) it made me feel so ill, she also used to give me really fatty meat full of gristle - I'd chew for hours on end and the meat was so dry it made it difficult to swallow it.

My diet is way more varied now that I can cook food to my own taste. My son does eat a lot of processed shit (sausages, nuggets etc) and is a fussy eater but he knows all I ask of him is that he at least try new food, if he doesn't like it then he doesn't have to eat it. We then try again after a few months. I will never demand he eat food he doesn't like. In my opinion it can create a very unhealthy relationship with food.

Cornflakes (or other cereal) and sandwiches for lunch are British food staples and pretty common, although of course not everybody eats them. They are cheap, easy to prepare and the sandwiches are easily portable for school lunches, etc. They might not be ideal (low in protein and high in carbs) but they are not too bad either.

The dinners you describe sound like the worst of the British diet. Not uncommon but not typical either.

I've just noticed your screen name. I see you have discovered one of our very unhealthy chocolates!

DS is not fussy, but if he's served food at "child meal times" that isn't the sort of "standard" child food like sausages or mince, he can be difficult. What I'm doing now is slowly shifting how and when he eats as I find if he eats with us, he's far more willing to try whatever we're having. But with a much younger sister, serving him a meal at a later time is quite tricky. So now, when I eat my supper, he often has a few bites before bed and I'm considering shifting our routine so that we eat earlier and he eats later so we can eat together.

For example, he won't eat fish (except fish fingers) if it's just him and DD. But, if I've made salmon and veg, he'll happily have some. And if I introduce a food like this where he gets to steal from me, over time, he'll then add it to his regular range, up to a point. He quite likes salad now and while he wouldn't eat it as a "kids meal" when we have family meals on the weekend he likes to have his with a portion of salad, the same as we do.

Could you do similar? i.e. cook for yourself that's more interesting and varied and see if he wants to try a few bites? And if he likes it, you can then offer to make it for him next time he has supper?

[Side note, this has inspired me to get on with my plan to adjust DS' meals. I've been putting it off as it involves a complicated shift in routine for us in terms of bath, cooking, bed etc, but I really must sort it].

Yes I am pretty much obsessed with aero mint. I have never tasted anything as delicious as this green bubbly candy!

OP when she gives you the list of food to feed your charge over the week does she tell you how to cook it? So if it's sausage and mash it could become sausage casserole and mash, with plenty of "hidden" veg in the casserole. I do mine with onion, garlic, leek, carrot, celery, olives.

I was surprised when I realised the majority of my DS's friends' families, who I'd regard as middle class (doctors, architects, lawyers etc.) gave their children freezer food meals, e.g. potato waffles, sausages, chips, pizza, chicken nuggets and the like for dinners.

Perhaps they're just too busy to cook? I don't know, but it's depressing. These people never sit down as a family to eat a meal either, so that's also part of the problem. Surely children should be brought up as part of a family, all eating the same meal, together and this is how they learn what normal food is? I understand tweaks and some variations might need to be made depending on the child, but on the whole, I make one meal and we all eat it.

Lunches seem to consist of ham (plastic, glossy, pink processed stuff) on buttered white bread. It's gross.

And I don't understand how some people can say, "but it's all my child will eat". Surely if they'd never been introduced to it in the first place it wouldn't know it existed?!

Aeromint, I think the key here is to very gradually try to add in more fruit and veg to his meals. As you are not buying the food and will depend on the parents to do this, I suggest a cooking session with him once a week. Let him pick a recipe such as homemade pizza, decide on the topping (sweetcorn, pineapple, onion, peppers, etc) and ask the parents to buy them. I use wholewheat flatbreads for the base to make it a bit healthier.
Children are more likely to eat food they have prepared and its a way of introducing new foods without risking insulting the parents.
You could try fruit kebabs, homemade scones, smoothies, etc.
Good luck, I think you sound great and really invested in the child's health. Well done.

I am afraid I am not used to letting kids have the last say in their food (different culture I guess)

No it really isn't, this is not the norm in the UK at all. I agree his diet is very poor, but you are in a difficult situation when his parents approve this sort of junk as a daily diet.

The cooking with him suggestions are good, even if as far as you get is him eating a homemade burger, at least it's an improvement on what he gets now , especially if you can hide vegetables in it. You could try teaching him about nutrition & looking after your body too, that might have an impact if you are lucky

I think as an au pair you can try to encourage healthy eating but ultimately it's up to the parents. Cereal for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch is pretty standard here but usually accompanied by some fruit at breakfast and things like carrot sticks, cherry tomatoes etc in a packed lunch. I'd encourage the kids to eat fruit for snacks as their diet seems to be quite processed.

OP your diet from your home country sounds amazing!

I expect that a lot of the food you serve, your charge is used to it and the family simply hasn’t had time or energy to make anything else.

I think the family would probably love for you to cook for them one day. I certainly would! Does it take a lot of time and expense to eat like that here?

My kids have always eaten pretty healthy food. The sweetest cereal they get in week is cheerios/shreddies. I buy brown bread, Brown pasta, white/brown rice combo and they eat tonnes of fruit n veg. Occasionally I'll make fishfingers or pizza, and I've bought cheese strings for a snack (better than chocolate). They're v healthy & slim teens now. In fact when we came back from
Holiday, DD in particular couldn't wait to eat better.

I'm not sure the diet you are describing there is really typical of children in Britain, although it is the sort of stuff you find in restaurants labelled as the 'children's menu'. It is definitely junk food. Obviously there are some people who do eat that sort of stuff all the time, but it's not considered normal to do so.

DD (5) hates so-called 'children's food' like burgers, nuggets, fish fingers and pizza, although she does sometimes like sausage and chips with tomato sauce. She prefers a surprisingly spicy vegetable and lentil curry

Why don't you chat to him about your home country and ask if he would like to try some of the food you ate there?

Yes ooodiles I think not eating together as a family is a lot of the reason why children often get fed a lot of freezer food. No one likes to cook twice and so many parents work long hours and don't get home before the kids' bedtime

OP you sound lovely. A cooking activity sounds great to encourage your charge to eat more healthily. I haven't read all the thread (sorry!) but kids sometimes are more likely to be more enthusiastic about vegetables if they look 'fun'... So things like bento boxes, where the veg is cut into cute/cool shapes. That could be a fun after-school activity - for him to make his own cool packed lunch for the next day and be the envy of all his friends! x

DD is an au pair and has also been shocked at the diet and fussiness of her charges. Sadly the parents are also fussy and won't let her cook. However, they have said she should add anything she wants to the family shopping list and they'll buy it for her. It's difficult to diplomatically suggest to the mum that their diet isn't great but totally reasonable to ask for more fruit and veg for yourself!