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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect my 6 year old to stop taking the piss at bedtimes

19 replies

Allyg1185 · 20/09/2017 22:02

Basically my 6 year old ds has always been a terrible sleeper and still doesn't sleep all night. Something I've become used to.

However in the last few months he just takes the utter piss at bedtime. To hot, to cold, jammies on, jammies off, needs a pee etc you get the picture.

I put his bedtime to 8pm as I was putting him to bed at 7.30pm but I thought he maybe wasn't tired and that was why he was having a carry on. Its made no difference hes still up at least 3 or 4 times and isn't settling to sleep until after 9pm.

Our routine is he goes up at 7.50pm we brush teeth and use the toilet then he gets a story in bed. Kiss and cuddle and tucked in. At this point I've asked whether hes to hot etc and adjusted nightwear to suit. He gets a small drink. Has a teddy etc everything I think he can possibly moan about I check before I leave.

I swear I'm not even downstairs 5 minutes and he starts.

Ive also tried a reward chart which worked till he had coloured in 30 beads and he had received his prize. Now the novelty has worn off.

Any suggestions would be great

OP posts:

TheSnowFairy · 20/09/2017 22:04

Don't ask him anything - just say goodnight and leave.

He is 6 though and piss taking is completely age appropriate 😁

Original poster

Allyg1185 · 20/09/2017 22:08

Tried the not asking anything and hes still up at the top of the stairs within 5 minutes

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 20/09/2017 22:08

After the first tucking in, say nothing and if he gets out of bed, bring him back immediately. Do this as many times as needed. Warn him beforehand that this is what is happening from now on. You will tuck him in, and any further disruptions will be met with silence and an immediate trip back to bed. As long as you give feedback or response to his faffing about, he will keep playing you like a fiddle.

Invisimamma · 20/09/2017 22:10

Mine does this too, it's just delaying tactics.

I start taking thing away, no computer after school tomorrow, no playground after school, no tv in the morning until he quits...maybe not the best parenting tool but seems to get him to stay in his room!

swg1 · 20/09/2017 22:10

Why does he need you for "I need a wee", jammies off or jammies on? That kind of thing can be met with "Well, go on then, you don't need me for that".

Original poster

Allyg1185 · 20/09/2017 22:15

I do say " go on then "

I know hes at it and just taking the mick. Its just breaking this cycle.

Ive also tried the you wont get xyz etc but doesn't seem to bother him

OP posts:

Original poster

Allyg1185 · 20/09/2017 22:16

What time do other 6 year olds go to bed?

OP posts:

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 20/09/2017 22:17

I was going to say that. He's old enough to go to the loo without fanfare if he needs it and can presumably undress himself if he's too hot. Even babies can wriggle out of their clothes if they are genuinely too warm.

If he has to do it himself, getting up and whinging about it will be much less fun for him.

ThorsMistress · 20/09/2017 22:17

DS (5) is EXACTLY the same OP.

It's a constant battle. I put him to bed and he's up constantly either in the bathroom or complaining his quilt has come off

GinIsIn · 20/09/2017 22:19

I think you need to not engage with it at all. He doesn't need you to take his pjs off, or go to the loo. Just ignore him, and if he doesn't then go to do whatever it is he's whining he needs (loo, water etc) just escort him firmly back to bed without discussing any of it.

Original poster

Allyg1185 · 20/09/2017 22:21

Oh hes more than capable of taking his clothes off.

Very often hes gone to bed in pants and a vest and when he gets up during the night his jammies are back on so hes obviously seen to it himself at some point

OP posts:

dontslouchdarling · 20/09/2017 22:23

My 6 year old is bathed at 7ish up to bed then reading/story. Then he's allowed to quietly look at a book or play until 8 when he tucked up and light out. He still emerges sometimes to nose at what we are eating or show us some lego creation but we nod politely then straight back to bed.

Not to detail your thread but our "issue" is food. When he gets back from after school club or after tea on the days i dont work he seems desperately hungry ALL OF THE TIME. I swear he eats adult portions and can still be "starving: 10 minutes later. I feel like a cafe where food has to be in constant supply.

MarklahMarklah · 20/09/2017 22:23

My 6 year old starts getting ready for bed at 7.30. Tonight was a good one. Milk and a small serving of cereal (she was pleading hunger), then 5 mins quiet time downstairs.

I sent her up to change into PJ's then she came back down to read to me for 5 mins.
Then I sent her back up to go to the toilet, clean teeth. When I went up, she'd just got into bed. I put a story CD on, chatted to her for 5 mins, cuddled her for a further 5, then turned out the light and left after saying goodnight. I've not heard a peep out of her and she was lying down in bed by 8pm.

Other nights she just can't settle, and it was far worse when bedtime was 7 - 7.30. Now I ask that she is in bed for 8, and if she feels that fidgety, she can read until 8.30. She gets up fine in the morning, and things like too hot/too cold are for her to sort out, which she knows.

Original poster

Allyg1185 · 20/09/2017 22:30

I don't think food is an issue he has supper at just after seven

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 20/09/2017 22:34

Would it be possible for him to eat earlier? I wonder if the spike in blood sugar might be making it hard for him to settle.

DontCallMeCharlotte · 20/09/2017 22:38

I can actually remember being that child. Ours was a very social house and I didn't want to miss out. I would creep downstairs and as soon as I was detected i would just get a stern "BED!" from whoever had heard me. No one was pleased to see me and I think I eventually realised that night time wasn't my time.

slbhill42 · 20/09/2017 23:04

if my nearly-6yo makes more than 2 excuses I start removing his treasured cuddly toys / other things he wants in the room. It's stressful at the time, but the following night it just takes one threat to do it again and he goes strangely quiet.

I am probably seen as evil by some.

Sometimes I hear him singing to himself but he doesn't get up again. At least he is getting some rest and so am I, even if he's not asleep!

PlasticPatty · 20/09/2017 23:07

That so reminds me of being six! And all the ages around that. One of my favourites was to crawl back into the living room, behind the sofa, and settle down at the far end where no-one could see me, to watch television 'with' my parents!

Another jolly jape was to shout 'Bum!' (the rudest word I knew) repeatedly, when my parents had visitors in the house.

Original poster

Allyg1185 · 21/09/2017 07:45

Yeah he could eat earlier thats not a problem. Might try that

OP posts:

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