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Original poster

Advice on how to deal with an Anti-vaccer

125 replies

frankencunt · 20/09/2017 20:19

Help. Posting here for traffic as I need to speak to my friend in the morning.

My dear friend is in a relationship with a complete prick who is trying to stop her vaccinating their new baby.

She of course wants the vaccinations but he has said he will not allow it and is going to write to the GP to say he doesn't give his consent.

He is a total arsehole who refuses to speak to her about it, refuses to speak to medical professionals and gets all of his information from crappy American websites from what I can gather.

He has now threatened her as well if she had them done without his permission.

Could anyone point me to some easy to understand research/info that I could get for her?

Does anybody know if he can block the vaccines or if they will do them with just her consent?

We are in the UK.

Thank you!

OP posts:
existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 21:49

He can write all the letters he wants to, nobody needs his permission to do it as long as they have hers. Nobody will give a shit what he says.

The only way he could stop it is to get a court order, which he would never get anyway.

DJBaggySmalls · 20/09/2017 21:49

I'm curious why your friend cant find her own research? Something printed off the internet isnt going to fix this problem.
It sounds like he is using coercive control;

www.cps.gov.uk/legal/a_to_c/controlling_or_coercive_behaviour/

over40andpregnant · 20/09/2017 21:57

Come to Australia where you can't go to nursery or school is you don't vac and new proposal you get your benefits taken away (if you are on them)

Btw your friend needs to speak to her doctor asap and get his advice

ReanimatedSGB · 20/09/2017 21:57

If this knob had a genuine medical reason for being concerned about vaccination, he'd communicate it. He's just a controlling dickhead with a lot of idiot superstitions and wilfull ignorance.

It's one thing to have a known risk of vaccine issues, consult with your GP and delay vaccinating your specific kid. Quite another to be opposed to vaccination because you're either a magic-beans-and-woo arsehole or because you read some shit on the internet and can't be bothered to engage your brain.

SignoraStronza · 20/09/2017 21:58

He'd be welcome to write a letter to the gp - and she'd be welcome to come in and have the baby vaccinated regardless of what he says. Advise her to ask reception not to send a text when the appointment is booked, also is not 100% necessary to get it recorded in the red book if your friend is worried about him finding out (the vaccination records are stored on the system anyway).

Molly499 · 20/09/2017 22:01

My GP has 5 kids and she has chosen to vaccinate none of them before the age of 12.
We may not agree, but I am sure she has her reasons.

I'm medically trained but have not practised for a while now, almost all of my Dr friends were anti MMR for young children. There is a huge amount of information blocked from the public domain and I just think that they saw so many adverse effects and sick kids, same with the early meningitis vaccine.

We have to be able to choose but it must be an informed choice. Some are less risky than others.

existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 22:06

There is a huge amount of information blocked from the public domain and I just think that they saw so many adverse effects and sick kids, same with the early meningitis vaccine

Scare mongering bollocks. (and yes I am medically trained and have access to all the research).

Very few dr's don't vaccinate their children. All the sane ones do.

wheredoesallthetimego · 20/09/2017 22:06

nobody needs his permission to do it as long as they have hers. Nobody will give a shit what he says.

existentialmoment if you look upthread you'll see that I have had specific legal advice from my indemnity provider which contradicts that view.

Cailleach666 · 20/09/2017 22:09

Molly499 that's so interesting.

And quite disturbing.
I am not an "anti vaxer", but I am a "wary vaxer".

I have listened to lots of information over the years since my son got sick, and lots of parents whose kids have had quite bad side effects only to have them brushed off or marked down as coincidence.

BurningOutNow · 20/09/2017 22:14

I wouldn't go within twenty feet of a "GP" who refused to vaccinate their children.

BurningOutNow · 20/09/2017 22:15

There is a huge amount of information blocked from the public domain and I just think that they saw so many adverse effects and sick kids, same with the early meningitis vaccine.

Load of utter bollocks.

GetOutOfMYGarden · 20/09/2017 22:16

I'm medically trained but have not practised for a while now, almost all of my Dr friends were anti MMR for young children.

I'm also medically trained, and none of mine are. I'd be curious to know where all this 'hidden evidence' is stored, because every systematic review to date says benefits massively outweigh risks.

notangelinajolie · 20/09/2017 22:17

She just needs to get them done! How would he know? I took all my kids for injections and nobody ever. ever asked me if I'd got permission from my husband. She needs to take control - why even is she asking you for help - she is the mother for fucks sake! She needs to stop being pathetic.

knottybeams · 20/09/2017 22:20

wheredoesallthetimego really? Am surprised at that as doesn't quite match up with guidelines locally here or my current CSA reading .Would your defence union still want a court order if the child came to you in 14 years time wanting the jabs alone, or was brought in following a tetanus prone injury by the provax parent in a few weeks/months? Standard for jabs is to turn up with one parent. Does your practice insist on double signatures for all baby jabs? All kids treatments? Sounds like more going on here maybe?

existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 22:22

I'd be curious to know where all this 'hidden evidence' is stored, because every systematic review to date says benefits massively outweigh risks

Yes, it must be very well hidden. So well, in fact, that the people doing the research don't even know about it! Impressive!

LilQueenie · 20/09/2017 22:23

I agree lots of information is kept from us. Just look at the companies who make the vaccines. It was in the media a few times how they were fined millions for messing with safety data and pushing sales before being fully tested. Its unfortunate but after a while people forget and only hear what makes them feel safe ie what the doctors tell them. Of course the doctors and nurses are told from the companies what latest advice is. Can you see where it goes wrong?

existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 22:23

existentialmoment if you look upthread you'll see that I have had specific legal advice from my indemnity provider which contradicts that view

I have no idea what advice you got from who, but I can tell you in practice that only one parental permission is needed to vaccinate.

existentialmoment · 20/09/2017 22:24

Of course the doctors and nurses are told from the companies what latest advice is. Can you see where it goes wrong?

I can see where you have gone wrong because that isn't even slightly how any of it works.

notanotherNC · 20/09/2017 22:26

I didn't have any when young as my dad has epiliepcy and back in the day they thought best to non vaccinate in my case. I caught all the illness and was ok... but I still gave all my kids them as really it is the best thing for most healthy children to keep them safe.

rowtheboats · 20/09/2017 22:30

In Australia children are banned from childcare centres and prevented from having any child benefits/rebate from the government. Is this the case in the UK? If so maybe the financial implications will sway him!

PortiaCastis · 20/09/2017 22:30

Last year dds friend died from meningitis at uni I didn't take the risk and made sure she got vaccinated.
I feel we're fortunate to have a free vaccination programme and majority of kids don't contract diptheria tetanus polio etc. Parents is a lot of Countries watch their children die from measles so yes I got dd vaccinated and she's fine. Never forgive myself if she suffered needlessly and do wish the scaremongering would stop

LilQueenie · 20/09/2017 22:44

existentialmoment Im happy to be informed of where they do get their information from.

GetOutOfMYGarden · 20/09/2017 22:44

Of course the doctors and nurses are told from the companies what latest advice is.

I get my evidence from NICE guidelines, actually. NICE review these drugs, look whether they're actually safe, actually work, and are actually working enough for the price, and only then do they get approved and recommended. That's why you hear all about 'miracle drugs' not being funded.

Additionally, in every drug rep meeting I've attended the doctors have questioned the hell out of the rep. No decision is made on what to prescribe based on the meeting. Sure, teach me how your drug works, show me the clinical trial data, but I'm not going to go against best practice because you brought me some bloody M&S sandwiches.

Molly499 · 20/09/2017 22:46

I think that if you know anyone who's had serious complications post vaccination it would put you off. MMR is the one I had most issues with in YOUNG children but I'm not totally wreckless and opted for a single measles vaccine for two of my dc's. My eldest ds had a reaction to the the DPT booster but his siblings were still vaccinated.

slbhill42 · 20/09/2017 22:56

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Consent-to-treatment/Pages/Children-under-16.aspx

someone with "parental responsibility" can consent for them. This could be:
•the child's mother or father

and

If one person with parental responsibility gives consent and another doesn't, the healthcare professionals can choose to accept the consent and perform the treatment in most cases.