To think that children ruin everything?

[LyannaStarktheWolfMaid]

I was so looking forward to getting into a clean, freshly made bed today. DD (5) became interested when I turned, fluffed and smoothed the feather mattress topper. She looked on while I carefully unwrinkled a fresh fitted sheet. She watched avidly while I painstakingly plumped all six pillows. She even lent a hand while I changed the duvet cover, and listened to all my instructions while we put it on the bed together. We stood back and gazed with pride at our handiwork, soft as a cloud and unruffled as the water on a still lake. Then the little ratbag took a running jump, belly flopped into the middle, and gleefully rolled all over it until every inch resembled a badly flipped pancake. FML. 🙄

My question being...in what small but significant ways do your little darlings piss on your bonfires?

Pretty much!

Yeah I'd have done the same too

Nice hot bubbly bath, smelly candles, glass of wine, new book climb in, just about relax and somebody needs a poo! Every single time! I wouldn't care but we have more than 1 toilet so they somehow synchronise their shitting habits so that the other is in use and I have no choice but to get out.

I thought you were going to say she threw up on it!

You know what's worse, when you do all that and then make the little darlings their bedtime toast because they're so hungry from dinner just an hour ago and nighttime lasts soooo long, then the little darlings sneak the bloody toast into your fresh warm bed and release bastard crumbs everywhere.

I need to tattoo NO FOOD IN BEDS on my head obviously

Lovely sandwich stacked high made for my lunch, I perched it on the chair for a second while I retrieved my 15m DDs fave ball from under the sofa, when I emerged from said sofa she'd karate chopped the edge of my plate and caterpaulted my cheese ploughmans and Tescos finest crisps everywhere.
After I'd helped her too, little traitor.

Wow. Just wow. A sweet little girl jumping onto what sounds like an inviting bed that she'd helped you make. She sounds happy and carefree. I would give almost anything to have your FML.
YABVVU

Gee, get a hold of yourself, OPs only having a mess. Who sat on your chips today

@ferntwist I am obviously very lucky and love DD very much, she is a treasure, etc. That was an attempt at humour. You know, for laughs? Sigh.

OP sounds so mean though!

Sorry OP, I just didn't get it!

Freshly cleaned hoovered immaculate floor. Tagine and Cous cous for dinner. Independent toddler. Say no more.

Spend hours hoovering and mopping the floor only for the little monsters to scatter crisps and crumbs all over the floor.

This particular little minx also likes to wait until I have one carefully saved mouthful on my plate (you know, a juicy bit with crispy fat), then she snarfs it from my plate. She is a toad!

Snap, pandora!

Mine always do this! Within five minutes of it being made they have jumped, rolled and, trampled all over it.

6 pillows??? Blimey

I would have done the same tbh your bed sounds like an actual cloud i love face planting a fresh bed yabu your dd has the right idea

its a good job you don't have my dog in your life. He leaves muddy paws and park grit all over my bed.

FML indeed.

I ran myself a lovely bath last night, the DDs were in bed. I popped in a lush bath bomb and went to my bedroom to get my book. When I returned to the bathroom, eldest DD (age 6) was out of bed and in my bath! I could have cried! Not quite the same jumping in 20 mins later when I managed to throw her out

We were sharing the best donuts in the world, with ice cream and melted chocolate. I saw the last piece that would have been easily divided into 2, she got the fork before I could do anything and ate it. I was gobsmacked, she laughed with chocolate all over her teeth!

DS is only six months, so he generally just vomits on everything. He looks very cute while he does it though.

Oh he has also learned how to press the screen on my phone, so I have a million pop-ups and adverts following me around the internet thanks to him.