How would you deal with this triviality?

[flipflap75]

My landline rang at 7.48 this morning - cue palpitations as no-one usually calls that early unless there's drama/illness etc.

It was my mother, calling to tell me that it's my sister's boyfriend's birthday on Friday. I said (in a 'happy' voice), "It's a bit early, Mum. We don't really do calls before 9, unless something's up." She hung up.

She'd previously offered to collect the kids from school and bring them home today as I was WFH. She's just brought them back, and is barely speaking to me. I asked her how she was and she just about managed a "fine" in a funny voice.

Not the first time this kind of nonsense has gone on, but I'd be really grateful to hear how you reasonable people would deal with it.

Penggwyn

I just reread your message. The part where you said you'd never speak to your mother like that. I think the only reason to speak to my mother like that would be to create a big boundary and for me, phoning at 7.50 isn't really one of those. I do have to create boundaries with mine as she's a narcissist and I'm the scapegoat in the family so wherever she can, she brings me down to make herself feel good.

Sorry but I think you were rude too. And saying 'we don't" was quite mean. You were clearly already up, it was a quick call from someone who lives and adores you and your DC and who regularly goes out of her way to help and support you. I'd be ashamed of myself if I spoke to any of my family like that. Kindness and consideration goes a long way.

Everyone saying you should say sorry.
If it was my mum and I said "Sorry Mum I'm really busy right now I'll call you later" she would still be in a sulk because the world should revolve around her.
It's tedious.
I always answer because both parents ha e health issues so would never leave it just in case.
Just ignore it OP, don't add fuel to the fire.

Yeah I think what you said was rude since she didn't know you have this rule. There are other things you could've said to her, as already pointed out up thread. You should apologise and move on. Just because your mum is sulking doesn't make her wrong.

I think she's embarrassed, go give her a big hug

you made your mother feel mother feel insignificant to your family, especially with using phrase 'we don't'. Yes what she was calling about was trivial but you could have handled it more gently imo, especially as she was doing you favour later by picking your kids up (a huge help which you don't seem to appreciate many many people don't have the luxury of), I think you should just apologize and say sorry mum, you caught me off guard as usually the only reason I get calls that early is if something is wrong.

[DodgyShoesOfDoctorFoster]
Do you know OP has school-age children>
People have different lifestyles: shock horror!

Well, if she doesn't, she probably shouldn't be sending them to school for her mother to pick up later.

OP, I love that my mum and dad will call me at 8am (or before) on my birthday. Your birthday is a big day for them. I think generational differences come into play here. My mum never had a career so doesn't really get how my day (also with colleagues 12 time zones away) works out. But she'll say "you work really hard love, make sure you get some rest too". The inconveniently timed calls are minor niggle to be tolerated

My mum is a bit like this. You can say the same thing to her twice and one time she will laugh and the other time she will take great offence and not talk to you for days, we just ignore her until she snaps out or it. Sorry not overtly helpful but it’s probably nothing to do with you but she was in funny mood anyway.