To expect school to communicate a nut allergy?

[BelindaBlinked]

Prepared to be told IABU.
DC was reprimanded for bringing almonds in his lunchbox to school today as a child in his class has a nut allergy.
Not bringing nuts in is fine by me, but AIBU to think they should let us parents know first? How am I meant to know if they don't say? Or do you always assume someone might be allergic so steer clear?

Sashkin This particular 6yr old also has SN.
Sashkin He's in Y3, 7-8yo and his SN are "undiagnosed".

We all clearly need more awareness on anaphylaxis and severe allergies.
It's sad to see that OP is more concerned about "doing 3 school runs and having to wait for him for 30 min" than about the fact that her child's behaviour could have lead to other child's death.

I think the current term is 'allergy aware' as it is considered bad practice to claim to be nut free if for example biscuits or sweets in the staff room contain nuts.

As has been proven, the school cannot exclude this child at lunchtimes, so they are absolutely wrong.

They could formally exclude him altogether - if they go through the proper channels.

TBF Lego if you're assigning the level of awareness of causing death to a child with SEN (I wont use "undiagnosed" in shitty air quotes - all SEN is undiagnosed until the parents win the long painful battle of diagnosis, if ever) then surely a NT child should certainly be aware that they shouldn't eat a nut if they are that allergic.

Im sure OP is concerned about the other child but considering nothing happened, then I think its fair enough for OP to be concerned about the logistics of the schools unlawful action as well as her own child who sounds like they will need far more support and have a tougher time than a NT child with an "allergy" (oh look, I can do shitty air quotes too )

Gah I didn't use shitty air quotes.
I used quotation marks to indicate OPs own words.
Gah, let me introduce you - The Great Punctuation, have you two met?

"Sashkin He's in Y3, 7-8yo and his SN are "undiagnosed". "

Interesting use of quotation marks in that post.

I understand punctuation and its nuances perfectly fine, it could be easily inferred that you were in fact shitty air-quoting.

My apologies if I was assigning a little more sophistication to your post than was intended.

Gah
Here
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quotation_marks_in_English
And breathe

How weird!!! I've already apologised for reading a higher level of meaning than the basic level you intended.

, very.

You know nothing about me or my child, why are you acting like you do? Of course I care about the other child! I've spoken to the mother and apologised, I've spoken to my child and further explained why his behaviour was bad. What more do you want me to do? He does have SN but these things take time to be diagnosed.

I'm going to leave the thread to disappear now, but thanks again to those who were so supportive and helpful.

OP, your child tried to kill another child. I don't think you're the one who should be upset!

What an absolutely ridiculous overreaction.

The child is 6 and has NO understanding of allergies which the OP has now talked through with her son.

"Tried to kill another child" makes it sound like you've found the motive.

It's sad to see that OP is more concerned about "doing 3 school runs and having to wait for him for 30 min" than about the fact that her child's behaviour could have lead to other child's death

I even think "could" is stretching it a little given the child in question seemingly didn't take an almond from the OP's son. Even do, he didn't cause the slightest bit of harm so NOW is the time for the OP's son to learn.

JacquesHammer The OP tried to minimise her child's actions by blaming the school for not reminding her not to take nuts in. It's accidentally one thing eating nuts around a child with a serious nut allergy, it's another to repeatedly try to get that child to eat said nuts just to see what would happen. Death is what would happen.

I'm quite laid back usually when it comes to allergies, but this sort of behaviour is completely unacceptable. Imagine how the other child felt. Imagine how the other parents felt. It's not just about what did or didn't happen regarding anaphylaxis, it's about the feeling of complete vulnerability.

The OP should feel bad - and do all she can to help make the other child and the other parents feel better. If that means lunchtime pickups until her child gets the message about not feeding tormenting kids with allergies, so be it. As I said, she's not the one who should be getting upset!

I would probably have been a lot less harsh had the OP not started by trying to blame the school.

"It's sad to see that OP is more concerned about "doing 3 school runs and having to wait for him for 30 min" than about the fact that her child's behaviour could have lead to other child's death."

Absolutely but on MN and sometimes in real life, you only have to hint at a child having SEN and any reply will be school-bashing, behaviour-excusing and advice on what the school can or can't legally do*.

I assume that the school will have to find someone to sit with this child to ensure he isn't encouraging other children to eat dangerous items.

*frequently bollocks of the highest order

Imagine how the other child felt. Imagine how the other parents felt. It's not just about what did or didn't happen regarding anaphylaxis, it's about the feeling of complete vulnerability.
Well said, Priglecat

For average 8yo DD had many more near-death experiences than your average child. I wouldn't want her to go through one more just because other child "doesn't understand boundaries and will just push and push".
School is absolutely right.