Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect school to communicate a nut allergy?

113 replies

BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 16:09

Prepared to be told IABU.
DC was reprimanded for bringing almonds in his lunchbox to school today as a child in his class has a nut allergy.
Not bringing nuts in is fine by me, but AIBU to think they should let us parents know first? How am I meant to know if they don't say? Or do you always assume someone might be allergic so steer clear?

OP posts:
captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 18:49

JonSnow no, any arrangement like the one they are trying to enforce (making OP collect at lunchtime) is illegal. It's an unofficial or informal exclusion. Schools often don't realise that it's illegal.

Original poster
BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 18:52

I'm not minimising. I'm finding it hard to explain what he did as I wasn't there. I'm very aware of his behaviour and would like to work with the school in dealing with it, but it's so hard when they don't work with me.
There is a long back story but to summarise it they basically struggle to cope with him and want him out. The head rang me and said he was looking in to transferring schools, implied that I didn't have much choice.

They can't meet his needs and keep putting that back on me to fix.

OP posts:
imjusthereforasec · 19/09/2017 18:54

I hate the whole nut allergy thing, i think it is becoming far more common (I would love to know why) perhaps more testing or the way we eat has changed dramatically.

At my son's school they send out a reminder every year, I usually here the mums grumble about it, not being able to find a cereal bar with no nuts etc. etc.

My son is the one at our school with the allergy, it scares the shit out of me, I cried irrational (or maybe not that irrational) tears when they confirmed it. The recent case of the boy who was given nuts by his 'mates' at school as they didn't believe he had an allergy or were bullying him - I think they have been charged with a crime.

Ah I know, lets see how severe the allergy is, waving a nut in the face so the child cries - yeah that happened to my son (he's 6!!) he was terrified.

captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 18:54

OP does he have a statement or EHCP?

Original poster
BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 18:55

I think the idea of doing a piece of homework on nut allergies would teach him far more than coming home for lunch so I am going to suggest that.
I didn't realise what they proposed was illegal!
I am so thankful to the posters who have helped me out with the school. I had some great advice on my last thread too.

OP posts:
WhereTheWildThingsAre123 · 19/09/2017 18:56

Excluding him at lunchtimes because of this one incident? Or is there a history of other incidences? Illegal or not, it seems completely OTT. My Year 3s - I would be giving them a telling off about the fact that at my school you aren't allowed to share lunch which they well know. That would do. A serious talk about anaphylaxis would probably follow but why would a 7-8year old understand the gravity of this without being educated about it? Unless there's more to it and more background then I'd say the school are being unreasonable.

WhereTheWildThingsAre123 · 19/09/2017 18:57

OP - education on nut allergies, exactly!!

TheRealBiscuitAddict · 19/09/2017 18:58

Children of that age just don't understand allergies in the same way that we as adults do. Yes the child was in the wrong for wanting the other child to test the almond, however if the school had been clearer on the nut ban in the first place the almonds wouldn't have been in his lunchbox. So the school are at fault here.

And no, all schools are not nut free. My DS has been to two primaries which aren't nut free and no secondaries are to my knowledge, in fact there is a severely nut-allergic child in DS' year group

skyzumarubble · 19/09/2017 18:58

My daughters had school dinners in reception.

First school trip I sent one of them with a peanut butter sandwich.

It got handed back to me at the end of school and did got given school packed lunch.

I was so embarrassed. I am fully aware of anaphylaxis / allergies but it just did not cross my mind. Turns out three in class have nut allergies.

It would have been nice to have some sort of reminder.

My kids are in year 2 now and they absolutely know who is allergic to eggs / nuts and that some kids can't have the birthday cake so I really hope they wouldn't try and force someone to try them.

SN or not it's dangerous but how you tackle it I don't know. Sending him home for lunch isn't the answer.

Original poster
BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 19:00

I'm really sorry about your sons allergy Sad I can imagine it's extremely tough to live with and I agree with all your points. I haven't been as clear as I could but I am not excusing my child in any way. My issue is how the school have dealt with it.

I've checked all their policies and emailed letters, I can't see a thing about nuts.

He doesn't have a statement. He's got a cognitive assessment and a multi agency appointment to get through and then we will hopefully have a diagnosis.
I'm applying to the LEA for an assessment of his needs, although school aren't keen on this.

OP posts:
JonSnowsWife · 19/09/2017 19:01

I don't know if he was encouraging or forcing Jonsnow, I wasn't there.

The school were there, and appear to have assumed he was forcing her.

Not unreasonable of you at all OP to leave the rest to school.

They sound as clueless shit as my son's last school. If you can, get him out. Best thing I ever did for my DCs.

captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 19:06

OP he should be on SEN Support in that case. IPSEA has useful info on school duties with regard to supporting children with SEN who do not have a plan. If they are admitting that they cannot meet his needs, and have been making reasonable adjustments within their available resources, then they have a duty to request that the LA carries out an EHCP needs assessment, or to support you to make the request.

You don't need a diagnosis for an EHCP needs assessment or to be given an EHCP.

www.ipsea.org.uk/what-you-need-to-know/school-duties

JonSnowsWife · 19/09/2017 19:09

I'm applying to the LEA for an assessment of his needs, although school aren't keen on this.

They can lump it. It's your legal right.

captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 19:09

Forgot to mention that if the school are not fulfilling their duties currently, the LA may decide that the school ARE able to meet his needs (just that they haven't been doing so) and therefore either refuse to assess or refuse to issue a Plan after the assessments. It's important that you establish with school what support he is getting now, what they have put in place for him, how they are meeting his needs and where they are unable to meet his needs - and what they would need the LA to provide in order to do so. You'll need that evidence for a successful EHCP needs assessment request.

faithinthesound · 19/09/2017 19:29

Almonds aren't even a nut! They're legumes!

faithinthesound · 19/09/2017 19:31

Ugh. They're not legumes, that's peanuts. They're seeds.

Tumbleweed101 · 19/09/2017 19:32

My dd has a child who is severally allergic in her class. The whole school is nut free and this is reminded regularly and my dd know all about reactions etc to the allergy.

I think if there was an allergic child rather than just a general discouragement you'd be fully aware.

thatdearoctopus · 19/09/2017 19:34

You said he has undiagnosed SN. And to whoever asked about a statement, (no longer called this), they are virtually impossible to get now, even for extreme additional needs.

It always used to be the case that schools were only officially open for two sessions a day, morning and afternoon and that children were technically only there at lunchtime by invitation. So children who misbehaved were routinely asked to leave the premises and return afterwards. I'm not sure if/when that rule changed.

thatdearoctopus · 19/09/2017 19:37

So, JonSnowsWife, you acknowledge that the school were there and either witnessed or investigated what went on? And yet you, who weren't there, have decided they're useless/shit based on a third-hand account on the internet?

nooka · 19/09/2017 19:42

Which is why schools just saying 'nut free' isn't very helpful. Much better to be explicit about which foods will cause potential problems. I would suspect parents would probably try harder to avoid problem food that way too, although I understand that the whole approach is questioned in terms of effectiveness.

babybarrister · 19/09/2017 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cantchooseaname · 19/09/2017 19:57

Pisses me off- school can't meet his needs, but won't do paperwork / assessments etc to get him support to meet his needs. It's appalling, and too frequent a story.
I'd be looking into a managed move to somewhere more receptive to working with you.
So sorry- there are good schools and teachers out there. Hope you find one.

JonSnowsWife · 19/09/2017 19:57

Yes that. Especially with the whole illegal exclusion thing.

CotswoldStrife · 19/09/2017 20:00

OP, I get the feel from your posts that you are very distressed about this. I think you are focusing on the wrong bit of the issue though, with the school and the nuts - it's more about your DS trying to get someone he knows is allergic to eat one than actually bringing them in from what I can see. Did he take the nuts in because he knew that the pupil was allergic to them or did you give them to him?

If the school are not being supportive then perhaps a move might give him a fresh start.

captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 20:06

thatdearoctopus there are still a lot of Statements that haven't yet been transferred to EHCPs. So it's still correct to use that term. My son has a Statement, not an EHCP. Statements are no longer issued, but those that are currently in place and haven't transferred to EHCPs are still maintained by the LA.

The main law relating to exclusions in the case of disability and SEN is the Equality Act 2010. I think it's also part of the Children & Families Act 2014 and the SEND Code of Practice 2015.