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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect school to communicate a nut allergy?

113 replies

BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 16:09

Prepared to be told IABU.
DC was reprimanded for bringing almonds in his lunchbox to school today as a child in his class has a nut allergy.
Not bringing nuts in is fine by me, but AIBU to think they should let us parents know first? How am I meant to know if they don't say? Or do you always assume someone might be allergic so steer clear?

OP posts:

Original poster

BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 18:04

I don't have a clue peachy. If that's the case they need to make it clearer.

OP posts:

Ttbb · 19/09/2017 18:04

Yes, how dangerous-if they have a nut free policy to safeguard allergic children it will not work if no one knows about it. Almonds are even nuts though.

Original poster

BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 18:05

Thank you Gah that is really helpful

OP posts:

TammySwansonTwo · 19/09/2017 18:11

Hang on, so it's not just that he took nuts but he encouraged the sufferer to eat one? That's much more of a concern. Many people who are allergic to nuts have to cut out all nuts (I do) due to cross contamination and the fact that allergies develop over time. I'm not very allergic to peanuts compared to tree nuts but I would never eat one. I would imagine my child would get in quite serious trouble for this and I wouldn't be opposed to this as I think it's important they understand the severity of the risk.

RebelRogue · 19/09/2017 18:19

Well the issue here isn't that he brought nuts in,the school might not be nuts free(something you should definitely check) but that he tried to get another kid to eat one after being told she was allergic.

GahBuggerit · 19/09/2017 18:20

Of course almonds aren't even nuts d'oh!!!

Original poster

BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 18:22

Yes there is more background to this but it's too much to get in to. I was frustrated and needed a quick vent.

I agree him encouraging the child to try the nut was way out of line but the schools approach to dealing with this was just not appropriate imo.

OP posts:

GahBuggerit · 19/09/2017 18:29

What did they do?

JonSnowsWife · 19/09/2017 18:33

If that's the case they need to make it clearer.

This, I fear is why the bollocking was given. The child was explicitly clear.

My DS has SNs (ASD & ADHD). He was badgering me for the entire journey home to try one of his chocolate buttons despite me repeatedly saying no.

Yes I'd expect the school to deal with it.

Saucery · 19/09/2017 18:36

I would expect explanation rather than punishment. I would also expect them to involve you so you can reiterate what a dangerous thing this was to do.
Then a whole school awareness about why there is a Ban and a reminder to all parents.

Original poster

BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 18:37

They want me to come and pick him up for lunches for now.
I already do 3 school runs and would have to wait around for 30 minutes outside while I wait to pick him up. I don't drive.
We'd literally just had a meeting about sanctions in place for him at school, within an hour they'd come up with a totally different sanction to what had been agreed.
He doesn't remember long term punishment, by the end of the week he'll have forgotten why he's coming home. It won't teach him anything.

They just want him out and I feel like I'm banging my head off a brick wall 😣

OP posts:

JonSnowsWife · 19/09/2017 18:39

I agree him encouraging the child to try the nut was way out of line but the schools approach to dealing with this was just not appropriate imo.

He wasn't just encouraging her though was he?

You need to be a lot clearer on how the school dealt with it before we can gauge if they were being unreasonable in their approach.

Even with the SNs, it's important that such a severity is made clear to him so it doesn't happen again.

Are you under a Paed for him?

Saucery · 19/09/2017 18:39

Ridiculous! There are no grounds for partially excluding him like that.

captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 18:41

OP I'm pretty sure they can't do that i.e. make you collect him at lunchtime . It's classed as an illegal exclusion. Is he on SEN support?

PotteringAlong · 19/09/2017 18:42

They can't enforce that. Just say no.

thatdearoctopus · 19/09/2017 18:43

So, your son was actually very naughty (as you hint at, although minimising it to "out of line") but you're cross with the school?

JonSnowsWife · 19/09/2017 18:44

They want me to come and pick him up for lunches for now.

What would they do if you was working those times?!

If he's that 'bad' (for want of a better word! ) he needs statementing.

captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 18:44

www.ipsea.org.uk/what-you-need-to-know/exclusion-from-school

GahBuggerit · 19/09/2017 18:45

That's ridiculous they just want him away don't they :(

Just refuse.

captainfunderpants · 19/09/2017 18:45

From the above link:

"‘Informal’ or ‘unofficial’ exclusions, such as sending pupils home to cool off, are all unlawful regardless of whether they occur with the agreement of parents or carers. Too many children and young people with SEN and disabilities are excluded illegally. This can occur when parents are asked to take or keep them at home from school without proper notification that it is an exclusion. This commonly includes picking them up from school early, at lunchtime, not coming in on certain days, or only being in school on a part-time timetable."

WhereTheWildThingsAre123 · 19/09/2017 18:46

I haven't read all posts so sorry if I'm going over old ground, but schools often say they are nut free and this is really more of an aim. It is impossible to achieve and misleading to term yourself as 100% nut free because there are traces in many many foods and, with all the will in the world, children will still come into school with things in their lunch boxes.

Chances are (I'd hope) at least a tiny reminder has been communicated home which you might have missed - easily done, a reminder could have been tacked onto a newsletter in a tiny text box. If it is a significant change in policy though, yes a letter should have been sent about it. But a reprimanding to a child does seem extreme. A little note or call home would have done the trick!

JonSnowsWife · 19/09/2017 18:46

It's classed as an illegal exclusion. Is he on SEN support?

Wouldn't that need to be a full exclusion though. It sounds like they just can't cope with him and are conveniently using his 'naughtiness' to justify it.

Original poster

BelindaBlinked · 19/09/2017 18:46

I don't know if he was encouraging or forcing Jonsnow, I wasn't there. I do know he doesn't understand boundaries and will push and push. We'd just spoken about this in a meeting with the head.

Of course my first response was to talk to him about allergies and how dangerous they are. Also went back over consent and if someone says no they mean no. I expect the school to deal with the rest though and not sure if that is unreasonable of me.

OP posts:

Dentistlakes · 19/09/2017 18:48

I would assume that schools and kids clubs etc are but free zones. However our school does specifically say that no nuts or products containing nuts should be brought into school.

GahBuggerit · 19/09/2017 18:49

Year 3, that's 6-7 isn't it? I really don't think my NT DS would understand the severity of that at that age. I think a lot of kids that age would see it liken someone used to say "mum says I'm not allowed sweets" and they try and push it, yes being naughty but not 'naughty'.

Needs a talking to yes but I'd think any real punishment is a bit off, especially if they knew about her allergy and still allow her to be put at risk.

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