Things that you've thought that were in fact absurd

[Pacificplaza]

Inspired by another current thread: what things have you thought to yourself, and accepted as true, which on telling someone else have quickly transpired to be completely ridiculous?

E.g: I always thought that when drinking a hot beverage, that the misty effect observed should you happen to glance down into the cup was your EYEBALLS getting STEAMED UP in the manner of a pair of glasses. When I casually mentioned this at work everyone kindly pointed out that I was just... seeing the steam.

My car is an old banger with no air con, just the air blower. For my entire life until my ExDP corrected me, I thought you had to 'run' the hot air until it turned from cold to hot eventually in the same way you do the tap. Rather than just turn it on once the car's warmed up. The hours I must have spent grimly tolerating a stream of freezing air in winter .

I'm not normally a simpleton by the way, I've got degrees and stuff and mostly manage to function.

So please tell me I'm not alone!

Blurry
Did we go to the same school!? Was it a school starting with F in a town starting with E?

My dm used to swear blind that a pony was a baby horse, not a separate animal. And my exh used to think that menstrual blood was blue because of the liquid they used on the san pro adverts!
Also a boy ds1 went to high school with thought that a penguin was a fictional creature, and was shocked to find they were real!

But a pony is still a horse right? (in some form). Oh god.

@Logans:

Did we go to the same school!? Was it a school starting with F in a town starting with E?

Well, Blurry might not have done, but we all know Blair-y did!

Hahaha, PigletJohn

maddiemookins "But a pony is still a horse right? (in some form). Oh god.". Yes, a pony is a type of small horse!

Sashh -- that's a lovely page of images!

Oh and I did (as a child!) think that the baby was removed from the mum's belly everyday and dressed right through the pregnancy, and then born wearing clothes. I have no idea how I thought they were putting it back in each time!

Very naughty pigletjohn..........

pigletjohn Yes, very naughty

Today, for about five hours, I believed that my engine oil grade could be found on the cap

My university housemate was looking for fake tan in Boots and was searching for the “sunt tro-pezzzzz”, pronouncing the Z and everything. Couldn’t work out what she was on about until she picked up the St Tropez

At college I was seeing a guy in the same class and the topic was something to do with water (can't remember what exactly) but the guy I was seeing said to the whole class and tutor that water changes where is comes from at night which is why it tastes different if you get a drink in the night.

The tutor was like that's due to your taste buds nothing else.

As a young child I thought condom was a big machine that attached to you both when you had sex

I've just found out that Jimmy Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon are different people. I'm not in the US and just assumed that as they were both Jimmies and look similar, they were the same person (despite the surname being a clue).

Someone in my early years told me prisons were full of custard. Every time I hear someone has been remanded in custody, I get a certain kind of picture in my head. I am 42.

As a child I saw a 'park and ride' sign and asked what it meant. My mum told me you could park the car and then ride an elephant around for a while. I was in my late teens when I realized.

I'm enjoying this thread a lot.i HRTHT but I did notice something about Pontefract not being in Wales. I also thoug it was until my mum rang me in the way to York and told me she was in Pontefract. I told her she must be lost. Lesson learned there!

My parents always told me that mountain sheep had two legs shorter the others ( ie left side or right side) so they could successfully walk around mountains all day long. I shared this knowledge with my duke of Edinburgh group whe doing the expedition aged 15 and it suddenly dawned on me ...
'but what if they want to go the other way round the mountain? Oh my sainted aunt! you people have been winding me up all this time you terrible parents! 😂

Oh.. The condom one reminds me.. I thought until my teens that a condom was a huge rubber tent thing that you put over both of you while you were having sex I think I saw it in a comedy film and thought it was for real!

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer You mean, like

Yes!!! Lol.

Lucisky I think periods are a mystery to lots of men. My DH commented that £1 for a year's supply of sanitary towels was a bargain... since the ones I used came in packs of 12 he assumed I just used one per period.

Just adding that my version of "Oh dear, what can the matter be..?" Had either Barbara Woodhouse or Margret Thatcher stuck in the lavatory.

My father told me that when you wanted a baby, you could choose the one you liked from hospital. Believed it until I was a teen.

Pyramids are not man made. They absolutely can't possibly be. They are extra terrestrial made. I will not be told otherwise.

Used to think we celebrated bonfire night too mark the attempt to blow up the Houses of Parliament rather than the fact it failed.

To celebrate the only man to enter Parliament with honest intentions

My sister free up thinking an airguitar was a real thing, until she went into a music store and asked the salesperson where they kept them 😁

My ex husband thought that you put the sticky side of stick - on sanitary towels on your foof, rather than your knickers. Forgotten about that until Polar bear mentioned about her hubby and sanitary towels. Ahh memories!