Things that you've thought that were in fact absurd

[Pacificplaza]

Inspired by another current thread: what things have you thought to yourself, and accepted as true, which on telling someone else have quickly transpired to be completely ridiculous?

E.g: I always thought that when drinking a hot beverage, that the misty effect observed should you happen to glance down into the cup was your EYEBALLS getting STEAMED UP in the manner of a pair of glasses. When I casually mentioned this at work everyone kindly pointed out that I was just... seeing the steam.

My car is an old banger with no air con, just the air blower. For my entire life until my ExDP corrected me, I thought you had to 'run' the hot air until it turned from cold to hot eventually in the same way you do the tap. Rather than just turn it on once the car's warmed up. The hours I must have spent grimly tolerating a stream of freezing air in winter .

I'm not normally a simpleton by the way, I've got degrees and stuff and mostly manage to function.

So please tell me I'm not alone!

Posts about condoms has just reminded me... I remember reading that a diaphragm was a form of contraception but the only diaphragm I was aware of was your chest area. So I thought that you had to breathe out when you had sex so your diaphragm became smaller which would mean there was no space for the baby.

Davidoff? Are y'all sure ?
I only recently realised there are 2 pop star Justins

Luncharmstrong "Davidoff? Are y'all sure ?"

This is the maker of Davidoff en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zino_Davidoff_Group It's got fuck all to do with David Hasselhoff.

Oh Piglet

I always thought a pony was a teenage horse ( older than a foal)

Very late coming to this, but I am flabbergasted at @GhoulsFolds sister not knowing there was more to the universe than our sun, moon and planets.

What the heck did she think stars are?

When I was at university I was in the supermarket with a house-mate.

I said something about the bell peppers being different stages of ripeness depending on their colour - green, yellow, orange, red.

She looked at me like and said that they are different varieties.

I actually think we were both right:
"Most typically, unripe fruits are green or, less commonly, pale yellow or purple. Red bell peppers are simply ripened green peppers,[12] although the Permagreen variety maintains its green color even when fully ripe" from wiki.

I've just had one this morning. I'd been wondering where velo road was, seeing signs all over the place saying velo road closed 23/9/17.

The penny dropped at spin this morning when people were talking about road closures for the bike race.

It wasn't until my mid twenties I learned that the brand 'Schweppes' is not in fact pronounced 'scooch-weppers '

@DistractedByAFatDog I was really disconcerted spending Xmas in Sydney - cards with snow scenes, Father Christmas, the whole shabang, as I walked through 30 degree heat in sandals and shorts etc. I didn't like it, it just didn't feel right 😂

Also an old friend of mine didn't learn until she was well past 30 that the song that goes 'these sounds fall in to my mind" isn't "teatowels whirling through my mind"

I am officially old re:the channel tunnel. Those that weren't aware how old were you when they were building it?

I remember all the news reports showing them actually digging it. I was a teenager tho

I thought Edam cheeses grew from plants in the ground - like pumpkins, but I don't think I'd ever seen a pumpkin growing at the time I thought that.

That's not quite true @BananasAreGood

There are lots of breeds of horses and ponies - Shetland, shire, arab, thoroughbred, tonnes more.
Pony and horse are purely descriptors of height, they aren't breeds. But there are a few exceptions where horses are called ponies (polo ponies can be taller than 14.2hh) or where ponies are called horses (the icelandic breed are always horses, not ponies, because there is no equivalent of pony in icelandic)

Scoobygang7 Construction started the year I was born

I told my grandson I was 21. He wanted to know how his daddy was older than me when he was my son. I told him it was like dog years (you know, 7 dog = 1 human). He nodded sagely and I could just see the cogs whirring. He didn't ask again but a couple of years later he gave me a very knowing look on my birthday🙄

I used to think that Red Dwarf's Cryton's chiselled face was achieved by layers upon layers of foundation then angled off with a palette knife.

peapod

gosh!

Channel Tunnel (1880)

www.forgottenrelics.co.uk/tunnels/gallery/channel.html

Like Piglet John's 710 I used to wonder why lots of roads had M075 written on them (until about 10 years ago when my husband totally took the piss)!

He also convinced me that tuna was made from dolphins which made some sense to me given I'd seen something about dolphins on the tins.

Sleepraptor why do they have M075 all over it?!

Isn't that M075 and also upside down?

SLOW upside down!

PigletJohn that explains why I feel so rough these days didn't know about the first digging attempt

Insomniac 😳 How did i not realise?!!!

I even turned my phone upside down to check if I missing something and still didn't get it 😳😂