To think school shouldn't refuse my child lunch

[Rathercrossaboutthis]

DS (12) forgot his school lanyard today. He's a well behaved boy who rarely forgets things (although it causes him much anxiety to stay on top of things not least because he has HF ASD). He called me in a panic en route to school as at this school forgetting the lanyard is a behaviour point, if not a detention offence, but it was too late for me to do anything.

He just told me that he was refused entry into the canteen for not having his lanyard (even though you don't actually need the lanyard to purchase lunch as there's a "thumb print" system). The teacher concerned was apparently very unpleasant when he tried to explain and shouted 'No lanyard. No lunch". He actually usually has packed lunch and goes to a "quiet room" for this so tried to go there to ask one of the SEN staff for help but again he was blocked by this teacher. He was told he was only allowed to lessons but nowhere else.

Ok I know he broke a rule by forgetting his lanyard but surely they can't punish him by refusing him lunch??? For all this teacher knew he could've been diabetic or something.

WIBU to complain?

That does sound difficult for a SEN child to negotiate, I can see that. Not necessarily the case that the teacher was to blame as she may not have been aware that he had special needs and just thought he was being defiant. And it would have been hard for him to explain himself obviously.

Not a nice situation to be in, OP, definitely arrange a meeting with the SENCO, to discuss ways to avoid it happening again.

This sounds to as if it might be a dinner lady on one of her first days at work who has been told not to let the children in without a lanyard.
I'll be interested in the outcome.

Refusing a child lunch? out bloody rageous.... Heads would roll if it were my child.

What if it was a child whose parents don't feed the kid properly? a school lunch or at least access to food might be highlight of the day.

Demand to know what happened and demand an apology. I would ask for procedures of what happens when other kids forget stuff.

Everyone who is raging, could we jist consider that the OP is after helpful and measured responses, not just angry 'argh nasty teachers, some.love power trips, I'd kick off, complain to the head'

From the information she has given there's a logical more likely situation which doesn't mean staff unilaterally refusing lunch.

She should contact the school (as she has already said), but is better speaking reasonsbly and constructively (which she wants to do).

Lol maisy,,,I wouldn't bother...

Refusing lunch is not quite the same as saying go and see your head of year and then have lunch. Calm down people.

another teacher here, I would speak to HoY first to see what had happened, very often students' version of the story differs from what had happened and what was said, afterwards I would either ask HoY to speak to the SENCo or speak to SENCo yourself, SENCo needs to inform all staff about children with SEN, even if they do not teach them.

another teacher here, I would speak to HoY first to see what had happened, very often students' version of the story differs from what had happened and what was said, afterwards I would either ask HoY to speak to the SENCo or speak to SENCo yourself, SENCo needs to inform all staff about children with SEN, even if they do not teach them.

bluntness

It's a shame. The OP was so reasonable and everything I spend my time on threads saying people should do if they have a queery and want to raise it with a school.

I hope she gets it resolved.

This is the sort of thing that really worries me about my DD starting secondary. She had ASD and I can imagine her getting into this sort of situation. She would be really distressed and unable to cope. I naively would have expected a child, any child, of 12 to be given a bit of help by a teacher in this situation. I can see why anxiety and school refusal is so high in secondary. Sounds grim.

Secondary teacher here and totally agree with Mianyoldcow, no need for the teacher to react in that way.

Whatever happened a child with SEN ended up alone and unfed at lunchtime. Any good school would want to make sure it doesn't happen again.

This. DD was too scared to ask anyone for help recently when she was told they'd ran out of the only food they had left (huge school-she was at the back of the queue). She had a packet of biscuits. I spoke to her SENCO about how she won't challenge/push/ask/insist. (Her cousin told her next time this happens to insist politely as they always have spare - DD looked at her in horror at the mere suggestion of challenging it). Her SENCO said should that ever happen again. She is to go straight to their office so something can be sorted. She is NOT to go without again.

IMO the biometric fingerprint is, well should be enough ID without the lanyard.

Did your DS go all day in school without any food? Honestly I'd go straight to the head teacher and to the governors too. Absolutely disgusting!

Whatever happened a child with SEN ended up alone and unfed at lunchtime. Any good school would want to make sure it doesn't happen again.

This!

Cosy- Did you read the OP's updates? I think HT and governors would be an overreaction.

Whatever happened a child with SEN ended up alone and unfed at lunchtime. Any good school would want to make sure it doesn't happen again
I totally agree.

I was just pointing out that the OP has been very reasonable, asked how it might happen, people have told her. She's said she is going to contact school for this reason and has thanked people for their advice. She is thr sort of measured parent who seeks advice and would raise things in a polite and appropriate way.

Despite this, people are still going for the raging 'heads will roll' response etc.

Your son misunderstood. I don't see any teacher refusing a child food. I think next time you need to ensure he has his lanyard on him when he goes to school.

I agree Maisy!

Does it say in his planner or the school handbook (which might be on the website) what to do if they forget their lunch/lunch money? In ours it says they should speak to their tutor or head of house. Sounds like they have a similar system at your dc's school if they forget their lanyard. (Dds school doesn't have a lanyard at that age.)

Where I work, students with SEN are given a designated adult, one of the TA's, who is their 'pal'. This means in these situations they can go and ask for help. The pal makes sure they have regular chats, also parents can email problems in the morning directly to them to avoid these sorts of stressful experiences. Perhaps it would be worth asking the school if they could organise something similar for your DS? Since we introduced this, feedback from students and parents has been very positive.

I feel sorry for teachers having to deal with "heads will roll"/"demand an apology" type parents. Must be a nightmare.

Mum of an ASD DD here. If my DD was in that situation she would be so overwhelmed by the being turned away from the lunch room that she wouldn't process the getting a spare lanyard bit.

I had no idea kids wore lanyards round their necks, like a dog's collar. Why ever do they need labelling? Presumably they can all talk and give their name if needed. Adults look ridiculous walking around with labels round their necks and now it's spread to school Kids!