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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am i being mean to say no to DH?

64 replies

StickySweatyArseCrack · 18/09/2017 12:16

Well I haven't said no as such but I've suggested we don't go.

He's basically won tickets to Later With Jools Holland. Liam Gallagher will be there as well as others.

We won tickets a couple of years ago too and met Noel Gallagher.

Thing is, it's next week. Mid week which means I'd need to take two days off work which I won't get paid for. Also, we live in Hull and it's in Kent so a long drive and petrol costs as well as the cost for a hotel over night.

We can afford it but we're going away to the Far East in 6 weeks and have still not paid that off (it's on a 0% credit card so no big deal) but we also need spending money. PLUS my MOT is due next month and the car is 11 years old so likely to need something at least.

I know he really wants to go but he's said he's ok with not going. Now I feel guilty!! I've said if he really wants to go we will but now that I've said that he probably won't go.

Was I being mean? It's rare that these tickets come up.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 18/09/2017 12:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scurryfunge · 18/09/2017 12:19

Could he go on his own or take a friend?

araiwa · 18/09/2017 12:21

If you cant go, thats fine but why cant he? Confused

Original poster
StickySweatyArseCrack · 18/09/2017 12:22

That wouldn't change the cost much and he won't go without me.

OP posts:
scrabbler3 · 18/09/2017 12:22

He should take a friend.

ShatnersWig · 18/09/2017 12:23

How do you "win" these tickets? If going is an issue, why did you "enter" for them in the first place? Let him go.

scrabbler3 · 18/09/2017 12:24

Well if he refuses to go without you, it's hardly your fault.

Original poster
StickySweatyArseCrack · 18/09/2017 12:24

I can go, it doesn't matter when I work as I choose my own hours - I'll just loose two days pay which we can afford to do - but with the holiday coming up it's money I feel should be spent on that (especially as it's not even paid for yet)

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 18/09/2017 12:25

Why wont he go without you? Confused

Original poster
StickySweatyArseCrack · 18/09/2017 12:26

I don't apply for the tickets, he does and he never told me he was applying for them as it's rare you actually get them. He probably applied not thinking he'd get them and now that he has, he wants to go. I agreed initially but then he said yesterday that he thinks it will cost too much so I agreed with him and that we shouldn't go. Now he's changed his mind again and wants to go but I still think it will cost too much.

OP posts:
CobwebKitten · 18/09/2017 12:26

If you literally can't afford petrol money, that sounds like very poor money management - you've spunked thousands on a trip to the Far East but are now living hand to mouth and can't afford 'a long drive'?

Original poster
StickySweatyArseCrack · 18/09/2017 12:27

He only really enjoys things like this if I go with him. He wouldn't bother if I didn't go.

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 18/09/2017 12:28

Just tell him to go with a mate. If he doesn't want to go without you it's not your fault.

Original poster
StickySweatyArseCrack · 18/09/2017 12:28

We can afford it!! That's the point! I just feel we should be concentrating on the holiday rather than adding more to our outgoings.

OP posts:
silkpyjamasallday · 18/09/2017 12:29

Well if he won't go without you and you can't really afford it could you sell the tickets? Spending money for your holiday then and no additional expenses.

ILoveMillhousesDad · 18/09/2017 12:30

He only really enjoys things like this if I go with him

Really?????

Loopytiles · 18/09/2017 12:31

Yanbu. You obviously don't want to lose pay for it or spend money on it with a big expensive holiday coming up, which is fair enough.

He is U for always wanting you there!

FauxFox · 18/09/2017 12:31

Just go. Catch up two days of work at the weekend or some other time. Life is short, you'll not look back and think "Oooh so glad I paid that credit card back a week earlier than I could have done" you may look back with fondness on an amazing night with your DH.

Original poster
StickySweatyArseCrack · 18/09/2017 12:32

He has work friends and goes out maybe once or twice a year but he's not a big mixer. He'd probably feel bad leaving me at home too (not that he should of course).

OP posts:
guilty100 · 18/09/2017 12:34

What time do you have to be there?

You can get 2 returns on the train from Hull to Maidstone for £50 each way with a Two Together railcard, and a cheap hotel would only be another £50. If you left on the 4pm, you could work most of the day, so you'd only miss one full day of work.

LexieLulu · 18/09/2017 12:34

I would go. It's a rare opportunity, don't waste it, we good the following months and ask DH to do some overtime and help reimburse costs/pay for spends to next holiday x

guilty100 · 18/09/2017 12:34

Ooops, posted too soon. That would make the total cost £150, plus a day's lost wages.

I8toys · 18/09/2017 12:34

I'd go. Spend some time with DH. Its a rare occasion anyway.

Allthewaves · 18/09/2017 12:34

If he rarely goes out and doesn't spend money then I'd take the plunge tbh and go

DanHumphreyIsA · 18/09/2017 12:35

Do you not want to go yourself (regardless of the financial side?)
From your posts, you can afford it even with having to pay for the other bits(unless I've misunderstood) so there isn't much of a reason not to go, unless you just don't want to.
In that case it's up to him, really. Go alone, or a mate, or not.