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AIBU?

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Original poster

To send a note to DD's teacher?

59 replies

GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 17/09/2017 09:03

DD (5) started school a month ago. I have been a bit concerned about what she's said about fights in the playground etc, but it hasn't directly involved DD.

This weekend she's told us that two of the boys in her class were hitting her in the line and she couldn't move away as she's not allowed to get out of the line. The teacher didn't see. It sounds like lots of small slaps, rather than a thumping.

I think that isn't on and want to send a note to the teacher to let her know about this. DW thinks I'm over-reacting. I don't physically see the teacher, so can't just quickly mention it.

She's my PFB and I don't know what's normal at school. WIBU to write to the teacher?

OP posts:
Original poster
GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 17/09/2017 09:04

Sorry about the paragraph fail Blush

OP posts:
Subtlecheese · 17/09/2017 09:06

Tell her to leave the line anyway? Teachers often lay in with the you can't etc. But there's no way I'd teach my children to take that treatment.

00100001 · 17/09/2017 09:07

I would try and talk to the teacher. Find out what is going on. Email to ask to see them. Or if you are allowed, grab them at drop off or pick up.

Crumbs1 · 17/09/2017 09:07

Yes I'd send a note. Why should she be hit because she is behaving according to rules?

Crumbs1 · 17/09/2017 09:08

Maybe teach her she can put her hand up when in line and say Fred and Sam are hitting me. Still,following rule but being assertive.

Spam88 · 17/09/2017 09:10

I'd just tell her it's fine to leave the line if she's being hit and she should make the teacher aware.

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2017 09:11

Did she tell the teacher the boys were hitting her in the line? I'd have moved the boys straight away.

If the teacher didn't see (sometimes it's hard to have eyes everywhere) and your daughter didn't say anything, I can see how your daughter ended up getting a telling off. The teacher needs to be told what's happening.

AtHomeDadGlos · 17/09/2017 09:14

Tell her to give them a thwack twice as hard. That'll either knock it on the head or the teacher will become aware.

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2017 09:14

^that should say might get a telling off for leaving the line.

She needs to know that she has to speak up if people are hurting her.

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2017 09:15

Tell her to give them a thwack twice as hard. That'll either knock it on the head or the teacher will become aware.

A ridiculous suggestion from you again.

Original poster
GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 17/09/2017 09:17

Thanks for replies so far.

She didn't get told off, she stayed in the line.

The putting her hand up is a good idea, but she said she couldn't get the teacher's attention. I said another time she should tell the teacher as soon as she could, but I'm wondering if I should let the teacher know about this incident?

Unfortunately it's not possible to speak to her at pick up or drop off.

OP posts:
Expemsiveuniform · 17/09/2017 09:17

You can't tell to hit back harder. That's not a sensible suggestion. Se needs to go and tell the teacher when it happens.

YogiYoni · 17/09/2017 09:19

I'd send a note or an email asking the teacher to give you a quick call, leaving a number and a range of times that you'll be available.

chickenowner · 17/09/2017 09:19

Please don't tell her to hit back, what a ridiculous suggestion.

As a teacher I would say that leaving the line because you're being hit is absolutely fine.

Rules like 'not leaving the line' are required to calm the children down after playtime, among other things, but in this case I'm sure the teacher will understand once your DD (or you) explains what is happening.

insancerre · 17/09/2017 09:20

I don't think the note will go down well
It's pointing out to the teacher that she isn't aware of what is going on in her own classroom
You would be better teaching your dd some strategies on how to deal with it if it happens again
She needs to move or speak out

Euphemism · 17/09/2017 09:26

"I don't think the note will go down well"...

I'm not sure what sort of teachers you know, but most I know are well aware that some children can be pretty sneaky about things like this and would be thankful to be made aware of this sort of behaviour going on so that they can deal with it properly.

Original poster
GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 17/09/2017 09:27

I suppose I feel that these boys need to stop hitting. She doesn't find it easy to say when there's a problem, though we're working with her on this. I just don't want her to feel scared in school and I'm worried that she does. Sad

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2017 09:32

I'd say a note is overkill. Catch the teacher at the end of the day and tell her that your daughter is being hit in the line and most importantly she felt she couldn't leave the line to come and tell the teacher. Both of those things need addressing and the teacher will want to know.

redsquirrel2 · 17/09/2017 09:32

You need to discuss it with the teacher. Tell the school office you need a quick word. It's not acceptable for your daughter to have to put up with that and at her age she's too young to sort it out herself.

jellybeanteaparty · 17/09/2017 09:33

Does she have to stand next to them in the line in a special order?

Can you suggest first option move to back of the line? If teacher says something she says I as being hit.

PurpleDaisies · 17/09/2017 09:34

Does she have to stand next to them in the line in a special order?

Most classes do.

Alibobbob · 17/09/2017 09:36

I taught my daughter's that if anything like this was to happen to them that they shouted out to get the teachers attention. Such as 'ow that hurt'.

Peeetle · 17/09/2017 09:37

of course you should let the teacher know. Either by a note or by phone or by catching her at the end of the day. Tell your dd that no rules apply if someone is hurting you - it's a useful life lesson to know that it have to do whatever is necessary to put yourself out of harm's way.

A teacher specifically told me to tell dd this when she was punched during quiet time.

Those boys need telling off too

Original poster
GirlsWhoWearGlasses · 17/09/2017 09:39

Unfortunately I can't just have a quick word with the teacher at pick up or drop off.

DW is questioning the purpose of a note. I want to stop it from happening repeatedly and for DD to feel safe in school. I feel making the teacher (who is lovely) aware is important for that.

OP posts:
YogiYoni · 17/09/2017 09:43

"Hi, thanks for calling me. Yes, I just wanted your advice about something Dd has mentioned. She says two boys are hitting her in the queue, but that she can't step out of it as it's against the rules. She's getting worried about it. What should she do?"

No blame. No accusations. But it raises the issue and gets some support for DD.

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