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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fuming with husband

79 replies

FoolNoMore2016 · 16/09/2017 23:59

My husband is an a$$!!! He has been drinking since this afternoon and has upset dd and her friend, had friends mother round as soon as I got back from town 😡. Then he comes home legless at gone 9pm saying his was going clubbing with a neighbour, which is fine by me, but as he leaves the house he tells dd that she will probably have a new mum tonight. Dd thought this was hilarious, she is 14, and I laughed along with her, but inside I am seething. He came back an hour later claiming that he was "offered it on a plate" but would rather be here with me.... Then he went straight to bed. Sorry for the long post, just needed somewhere to rant a little

OP posts:
StickThatInYourPipe · 17/09/2017 00:02

How did he upset dd and her friend?

lindblum · 17/09/2017 00:04

What did he do do DD and her mate?

LEMtheoriginal · 17/09/2017 00:05

He sounds like a delight

notapizzaeater · 17/09/2017 00:07

And you stay with him because ?

butterfly56 · 17/09/2017 00:07

Yep I agree with you OP he is a A$$!! Flowers

cherryontopp · 17/09/2017 00:12

So he's basically telling you, your lucky he came home to you and not shagged anyone.
I would go through him like a dodgy kebab tomorrow morning.

Sounds like he has no respect for you.

wishthisbugwouldfuckoff · 17/09/2017 00:14

My husband would be choking on his freshly severed balls if he behaved like that! 😳😳😳 so sorry you're having to deal with this OP what an absolute twat he is!

FoolNoMore2016 · 17/09/2017 00:26

He upset the girls by having a go about his vape that went missing a few weeks ago, we think dd or one of her friends took it. I don't really know how we are still together to be honest, nearly divorced last year but then he had a mental breakdown and I ended up becoming his carer (he has BPD). He is deffo getting roasted in the morning!!

OP posts:
TyrionLannisterforKing · 17/09/2017 00:31

You shouldn't be forced to stay with anyone due to illness (and I say this as someone with chronic mental illness). He is not your responsability.

Oh! Depending on his medicine, he should not be drinking, much less getting pissed.

FoolNoMore2016 · 17/09/2017 00:44

Drinking is a constant problem with him, we argue a lot about drinking on meds, his answer is the meds say avoid alcohol not do no drink. He actually thinks there is a difference between the two and no matter what I say I'm always wrong because I don't take the meds or have the illness.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 17/09/2017 00:50

Caring for this eejit and your DD are mutually incompatible. Your first responsibility is to her and to prevent her from becoming inured to his bullshit.

becotide · 17/09/2017 00:51

He's abusing you

just5morepeas · 17/09/2017 01:10

Did he have the breakdown just after you told him you were leaving him by any chance?

Call me cynical but that sounds like suspicious timing.

Do you want your kids to carry on being exposed to this sort of behaviour? Your relationship is their model for the future.

Birdsgottafly · 17/09/2017 01:17

"He is deffo getting roasted in the morning!"

Why don't you give your DD a break and handle things properly?

You laughed along with her and waved him off.

Or do you enjoy the daily drama?

JWrecks · 17/09/2017 01:49

Haha what?

"his answer is the meds say avoid alcohol not do no drink"

Mate, avoid alcohol MEANS do not drink! He's taking the piss.

It does sound as if he may be emotionally blackmailing you or something like that. He sounds awful. Oh you're bloody lucky I didn't cheat on you, I could have but chose not to that's how much I love you? Pull the other one. Somebody who loves you wouldn't even make stupid threats like that. What an arse.

tellmyfriendsiminlove · 17/09/2017 01:56

So why stay with him?

FoolNoMore2016 · 17/09/2017 01:59

Yes he had a breakdown when he was served a non molestation order

OP posts:
Raindancer411 · 17/09/2017 02:23

I would be packing his bags, I am sorry you and your DD have to live with that. It's totally disrespecting you.

AnyFucker · 17/09/2017 02:45

Fool no more ?

Hmm.

User02 · 17/09/2017 02:48

Who instigated the non molestation order?

Papafran · 17/09/2017 05:40

A non-molestation order? So he has been violent in the past then? Please get the fuck out for yours and your DD's sake. It will be causing untold damage living in this horrible environment.

He would have had to have gone pretty OTT for a 14 yo's mum to come storming round to complain. Please don't minimise or laugh at his behaviour.

highinthesky · 17/09/2017 06:30

If you continue to put up with this shit it's your own choice.

Isetan · 17/09/2017 06:31

You're not his carer, you're his enabler and part of a duo that is setting a terrible primary relationship example for your DD.

Rant and scold away but if you want different, you gotta start doing different.

PrimeraVez · 17/09/2017 07:03

Wtf, why would you allow yourself to be treated like that? Why would you allow your daughter to be treated like that?

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/09/2017 07:10

Hes an alcoholic and has received a non mol order and you continue to have him around your 14 yo. He says the most dreadful things around her. Do you want your dd to grow up thinking this kind of relationship is normal? GET HIM OUT.

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