Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my kids to get any toys for Christmas?

103 replies

CallMeMaybeee · 15/09/2017 20:23

I have two girls, 3 and 1.5. They have lovely bedrooms, nothing fancy or extravagant but I've tried to make them nice places for them to sleep. A couple of storage units with toys in, a dress up area, lots of books and some jigsaw puzzles. At the end of the day, we tidy up the toys and then the toys are out of sight ready for bedtime.

They don't have millions of toys, I'd say just the right amount. Purely because I clear them out now & again and give the excess to charity. Having recently done a clear out, I just can't see how either of them will benefit from getting more toys. Countless relatives have been in touch asking what to get them and I've said I'll have a think. The truth is, I don't like the idea of their bedrooms and our living room overflowing without toys. They are well entertained with what they already have. I know my eldest would be devastated if she doesn't get any toys from santa so I'll no doubt go through the motions. I've tried telling relatives not to buy any cumbersome toys but I get the feeling that's going on one ear and out the other.

Am I being cruel? Is the house being covered in toys just something I'll have to get used to? Just to clarify, they do have plenty of toys. I have a large cupboard full and a couple of small storage units. They have a toy kitchen and all the accessories, they have toy cars, bikes, ride ons etc. I just don't want to have one of those houses where you can't move for toys. I'm also not keen on the idea of spoiling the kids and the already have what I would deem to be a more than sufficient amount.

----------------------

Hi! This thread is a little out of date. If you're looking for toy recommendations, take a peek at our roundup of the top Christmas toys - as chosen by Mumsnetters. MNHQ

OP posts:
SirWibbles209 · 17/09/2017 15:24

Fuck me as if they've made an article already! Talk about lazy journalism! I wouldn't mind if they used it as a discussion point but it's pretty much just word for word what's on here!

melj1213 · 17/09/2017 15:47

As to the OP's original question, I don't think YABU to not want to fill the house with more "stuff" but at the same time Christmas and Birthdays are the two times a year children should be spoiled and get what they want. So rather than not buying presents at all maybe change your priority to gifting practical/consumable things so that even if your family buy them an entire toy shop, you are still buying them things that aren't going to add to the clutter.

With DD9 she gets spoiled by both my family and her dad's as both seem to feel the need to compensate for us being separated by buying twice as much stuff no matter how many times we tell them to dial it back. Because we know that they will do this, I have been paring back what we give her from me to 4/5 presents - one of the things off her wishlist, something to wear (usually something expensive/impractical that she's wanted that isn't everyday wear), a book/CD, some chocolate/sweets and then usually tickets to something - play/cinema/event etc ... so she still gets a few things to open and enjoy on the day but they take up minimal to no actual space.

TittyGolightly · 17/09/2017 16:11

I don't think YABU to not want to fill the house with more "stuff" but at the same time Christmas and Birthdays are the two times a year children should be spoiled and get what they want.

Only if you love the concept of consumerism and the destruction of the planet.

We make a big deal of birthdays. They actually have meaning. Xmas is a societal construct that I don't buy into. Why should I spoil my child just because toy sales people say so?!

melj1213 · 17/09/2017 20:53

Titty and that is your personal choice and you have every right to choose not to spoil your child or not at Christmas. I am not saying that you have to spoil your child then but if there is any time of year to do so it's birthday/Christmas

My personal choice is that my DD gets the occasional treat but the only time I "allow" my family (and her dad's family) to buy her loads of things without trying to discourage them is for her birthday and Christmas because for me those are the two days a year when the focus is on either DD exclusively (for her birthday) or on the kids generally and the magic of Christmas.

Brokenhalo · 23/09/2017 16:46

Is your house being tidy more important than the smile on your children's faces? Even if you only get them 3 or 4 toys each and then some teddy bears for the end of their beds it will make their Christmas. One day your children will grow up and leave home and you will miss that mess!

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 23/09/2017 20:28

Think I might update my name to something those cunts at the mail can't print in full.

Lazy wankers

LyannaStarktheWolfMaid · 23/09/2017 20:41

I don't buy my kids masses at Christmas, but I do get them a few decent things that they really want- high reward items! I absolutely hate cheap crap toys that break in five minutes - I refuse to buy these. We've never had toys out of the bedrooms, I can't stand looking at them. I think the trick is to be selective.

mollysfriend · 23/09/2017 22:18

No no no...you are NOT being unreasonable. I was actually thinking the same thing just last week when I was thinking about Xmas. Our gift this year will be a few days in Germany to see some Xmas markets. Yes, my four year old will get A toy, ONE toy from us and one small token gift from santa. I want to make Xmas magical for my children in other ways that don't involve a gluttonous over consumption of crap they don't need.
I think people who say Xmas magic is about toys need to probably think about what kind of adults they want to their children to turn into.

mollysfriend · 23/09/2017 22:21

Three or four toys? That's a massive amount of toys. I used to get one big present for Xmas and I treasured that toy for a whole ten months until my birthday. Too many toys means children don't enjoy the ones they have and they'll find it hard to focus, rather just float from one thing to another.

Blahblahboo · 23/09/2017 22:27

If you don't want your children to have toys or clutter then you shouldn't have had children OP.
It's not about what you want but what they want . You are been very selfish, as that is the part of Christmas that Children remember for years.

PumpkinPiloter · 23/09/2017 22:29

In my opinion you are being unreasonable and when you have young children you should get used to your house being centred around them. It is a very short period of your lives and whilst they will survive perfectly adequately without a large amount of toys. I would say it is better to give them a breadth of experience with a larger variety of activities and deal with a bit of clutter for a few years.

PumpkinPiloter · 23/09/2017 22:31

No no no...you are NOT being unreasonable. I was actually thinking the same thing just last week when I was thinking about Xmas. Our gift this year will be a few days in Germany to see some Xmas markets. Yes, my four year old will get A toy, ONE toy from us and one small token gift from santa. I want to make Xmas magical for my children in other ways that don't involve a gluttonous over consumption of crap they don't need.
I think people who say Xmas magic is about toys need to probably think about what kind of adults they want to their children to turn into.

#judgeyMcjudgeface

PumpkinPiloter · 23/09/2017 22:39

mollysfriend Is there not a little bit of irony in the fact that instead of indulging you kids in the sins of a commercialised Christmas you are taking them to a Christmas market which is surely a very capitalistic construct? Where people go to buy often overprices stuff for Christmas?

mollysfriend · 23/09/2017 22:40

Our house isn't centred around my children because we all live here and I don't want them to grow up with that sense of entitlement. I don't want toys occupying every nook and cranny of our house. They have a reasonable amount of toys but not to excess and guess what, they still seem happy.

mollysfriend · 23/09/2017 22:42

Yeah...fair point. The Xmas market will be small part of the time away which will include visiting friends and seeing a new country. That's the point I was trying to make. It's the overall experience. We're not going to spend 72 hours at the market.

user1492970817 · 23/09/2017 22:45

No OP I do not think YABU, I have seen children who have play rooms with enough toys to fill a shop.Most of which don't see light of day,or after being opened get tossed aside. So wasteful.

Original poster
CallMeMaybeee · 23/09/2017 22:59

To all of those saying I am BU and to the poster above who has said something along the lines of "if you don't want clutter, you shouldn't have had kids." My children have loads of toys, I don't want them to be absolutely spoiled rotten at Xmas or any other time of year. In previous years, I have been able to buy quite a few toys for them at Xmas as they have had new interests and I have also bought toys for the next developmental stage for my eldest. My youngest has all of my eldest's toys to grow into and has plenty for her current age.

At Christmas & birthdays, friends and family buy them lots of gifts and this has meant that we now have a great selection of toys that they both love to play with and plenty of toys & puzzles etc for them both to grow into also.

I'm baffled as to why some people have flamed me for the fact I put their toys in their storage units at nice to make their bedrooms ready for them to sleep in. I'm pretty sure if you asked anyone who specialises in toddler sleep, they'd probably say this makes sense. Don't get me wrong, there are still some toys out (dolls house for example), but the bulk of them are stored away.

To the daily mail who think I've said I'm not buying my kids toys, maybe re-read my post. I said that I will "go through the motions" as DD1 is excited for santa coming, so yes, I will still be buying toys, there is just a part of me that feels it unnecessary when they already have so much. I also feel there's something morally not quite right about how much many of us spend at these times of year (which I myself have been guilty of in the past) to give our children lots of things they have no real requirement for, when there are so many childen around the world with nothing.

This year, I vow to do something about that. Yes, I've donated old toys in the past but I'd like to do more.

Also, to all those people commenting on the daily mail article saying "it's simple, just have a clear out to make way for the new house toys", could you please actually read this thread. Clear done before I started this thread.

OP posts:
WhatIsSleeeeep · 23/09/2017 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlepinkgiraffe · 23/09/2017 23:06

We will get DD a few toys this year (though mainly craft bits, books and jigsaws) and have asked relatives not to buy loads of toys as we just don't have the space. Some are planning on getting us tickets for days out instead. Could be an idea for you to suggest when relatives ask for ideas.

LilQueenie · 23/09/2017 23:15

I have a issue with space. a deadly one. Cannot set foot anywhere without looking at toys.Its not DD's fault though so I can't not get her toys at christmas. She is now into shopkins which is great as it falls into the plan I used last year as well. Big boxy toys that when opened take up very little space. Also useables.little craft sets like make you own perfume and bath bombs. Tickets for days out from the family too are a good idea.

WorraLiberty · 23/09/2017 23:19

Is the house being covered in toys just something I'll have to get used to?

Yes. They're really not kids for long nowadays.

Another few years and they'll probably be wanting expensive gadgets that cost £££ but look like fuck all when wrapped and placed under the tree.

Just chill, go with it and enjoy the smiles on their faces. That (for me anyway) was far more important than clutter free bedrooms.

mollysfriend · 23/09/2017 23:25

www.becomingminimalist.com/kids-need-minimalism/

mollysfriend · 23/09/2017 23:28

You don't have to justify yourself. I think you have sensible approach and a lot of parenting experts say less is more when it comes to toys. Not so stressful to clear up, children place more value on their belongings if they have less and it helps them focus and concentrate rather than playing with something for a minute then moving on and moving on. I think many agree with your approach.

Mum2121 · 26/09/2017 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Swipe left for the next trending thread