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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my kids to get any toys for Christmas?

103 replies

CallMeMaybeee · 15/09/2017 20:23

I have two girls, 3 and 1.5. They have lovely bedrooms, nothing fancy or extravagant but I've tried to make them nice places for them to sleep. A couple of storage units with toys in, a dress up area, lots of books and some jigsaw puzzles. At the end of the day, we tidy up the toys and then the toys are out of sight ready for bedtime.

They don't have millions of toys, I'd say just the right amount. Purely because I clear them out now & again and give the excess to charity. Having recently done a clear out, I just can't see how either of them will benefit from getting more toys. Countless relatives have been in touch asking what to get them and I've said I'll have a think. The truth is, I don't like the idea of their bedrooms and our living room overflowing without toys. They are well entertained with what they already have. I know my eldest would be devastated if she doesn't get any toys from santa so I'll no doubt go through the motions. I've tried telling relatives not to buy any cumbersome toys but I get the feeling that's going on one ear and out the other.

Am I being cruel? Is the house being covered in toys just something I'll have to get used to? Just to clarify, they do have plenty of toys. I have a large cupboard full and a couple of small storage units. They have a toy kitchen and all the accessories, they have toy cars, bikes, ride ons etc. I just don't want to have one of those houses where you can't move for toys. I'm also not keen on the idea of spoiling the kids and the already have what I would deem to be a more than sufficient amount.

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Hi! This thread is a little out of date. If you're looking for toy recommendations, take a peek at our roundup of the top Christmas toys - as chosen by Mumsnetters. MNHQ

OP posts:

BurberryBlue · 15/09/2017 21:10

i totally agree Hetero.

OP you sound decidedly joyless,who not have done with it and just become a Jehovas Witness?Christmas is all about family and presents and food.One feels sad for your children,poor mites will surely not give a fig about the uncluttered space when they are discussing toys at school.Sounds incredibly selfish on your part.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 15/09/2017 21:10

(Sorry for multiple posts) My dd, for her impending second birthday, is getting a Grimm's Rainbow, some wooden animals and an Upsy Daisy doll. All toys. My sons are growing out of 'toys' as such but, at 12 and 10, they still love little toy cars and can shut themselves away for hours in their room with them and get lost in their own imaginary world. No doubt there will be a few more cars in theikr stockings. Toys again. But responsible for some utterly marvellous play.

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower · 15/09/2017 21:11

Do they have any building toys? Duplo or megablocks?

Nanny0gg · 15/09/2017 21:11

I know my eldest would be devastated if she doesn't get any toys from santa so I'll no doubt go through the motions

I understand what you're saying, but you really are sucking any joy out with that statement.

Ecureuil · 15/09/2017 21:12

The thing is, at 3 and 2 mine don't really want anything. They don't see adverts on TV or really go into big shops so they don't have wish lists. They love making things and doing puzzles. They have loads of toys and will play with them for a while but there's nothing they actively want.

Original poster

CallMeMaybeee · 15/09/2017 21:14

Clutter isn't my issue. I just like being able to turn their bedroom into a room which promotes a good nights sleep at the end of the day. as I've said, they have plenty of toys. I don't think I've ever been described as joyless but you're entitled to your opinion.

OP posts:

BlueButTrue · 15/09/2017 21:15

Most kids have far too much. We didn't buy our kids anything for Xmas last year!

autumncoloursareus · 15/09/2017 21:16

I get where you are coming from. I actually dread the PIL arrival at xmas. They bring each child 3 or 4 carrier bags of presents, and then disappear back to the car to fetch the giant toys that were too big for a bag. It is generous, but I don't have floor space for it all, and my kids are turning into entitled little brats with high expectations around presents.

I preferred my childhood. One main present, and a stocking full of oranges, nuts, and tiny stocking filler presents like coloured pencils, chocolate coins etc. It made us value what we had. I can still remember my favourite childhood toys. My kids won't. They have so much they have no clue what they like the most, and largely ignore it all anyway.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 15/09/2017 21:19

(Genuine question: how does it not 'promote a good night's sleep' for a child to have their familiar toys around them? I find it a little startling that they all need to be 'out of sight')

Perhaps 'earnest' is the right word, then - but there can be a thin line between earnest and joyless.

coddiwomple · 15/09/2017 21:19

Christmas is magical for little ones, and I think opening quite a few presents is part of it. It doesn't need to be over the top, but at 1.5 and 3, a few more toys, a few more soft toys.. just for the excitement of opening the boxes.

I understand your point about not wanting to go to the extreme with relatives. Could you ask for money instead, to be put in the kids saving accounts? It's quite common in my family. I don't mean "ask", but when someone ask you the question, reply that you are starting to put money aside for their car or a big family trip when they are teens.

There's so many different paw patrol pups etc, that it seems no one ever has all the characters so a few more are always welcome.

A ticket or even a yearly membership to a great farm (with soft plays etc..) is also a good gift.

GinnyBaker · 15/09/2017 21:21

My sister, whose DS is older than mine, had a coup a few years ago about the levels of stuff being purchased for him by the family, and now we are in her tailwind benefitting!

So all the relatives have been trained by her to buy small perishable presents to unwrap like comics, chocolate coins, crayons etc and then buy him something he can use instead.

So for his birthday this year my DS got a family annual pass to the zoo, and for xmas he's getting an annual pass to a farm activity place nearby.

She also has a strict no toys in the bedroom policy I'm currently thinking of implementing as well, as DS has started getting up in the small hours when he wakes up and playing with things.

RB68 · 15/09/2017 21:23

Dont worry when they are older presents get smaller (and more expensive)

Original poster

CallMeMaybeee · 15/09/2017 21:24

HeteronormativeHaybales they do still have toys out in their rooms. Dolls house, playmobil set, soft toys to name a few. Having a room totally overcrowded with toys probably isn't the best environment for a 3 year old to wind down in, that's my logic anyway. It works for my DDs, not saying that's what's best for every child though.

OP posts:

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 15/09/2017 21:27

I think you will struggle to stop your family buying them toys. We never managed it.

Firstly I would say, remember this too shall pass. They only have big 'plastic tat' toys for a few short years. All too soon their Christmas presents come in tiny boxes at a massive price!

Then, maybe consider Montessori style toy rotation to save your house. When DS was little he had a LOT of toys. First baby in a big extended family so he was spoiled rotten. We had a 4x2 ikea kallax on its side which we used as a 'toy shelf'. He had out only what would fit comfortably on the shelves and on the top surface without crowding them (including a few shelves of age appropriate books) and the rest were put away. I changed the toys on the shelf every fortnight or so. If you google 'Montessori at home' there are loads of good ideas for toy organisation.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 15/09/2017 21:28

Why the Bluem we didn't. But stopping grandparents, aunts and uncles is harder. Frankly the consumerist bollocks sucks the joy out of Xmas. About 15 years ago my family decided to give the gift of time. My mum wants my time. I give her my time for Xmas and really love doing something together. Much better than more shite that ends up in landfill

Original poster

CallMeMaybeee · 15/09/2017 21:31

It doesn't help that we have no garage or shed (army family). Makes storing excess so much more difficult and then all the more to pack when my husband gets posted.

OP posts:

BlueButTrue · 15/09/2017 21:32

dontcall Right, I agree Christmas is more about family and time - But come on now, you didn't get your children a single present?

I hate clutter and won't allow new toys unless some old ones are thrown away... But I'd never not get presents at Christmas

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 15/09/2017 21:33

BTW DS's toy shelf was downstairs. He had no toys at all in his bedroom.

Even now at 7 he only has his cuddly animals and overflow book storage in his bedroom.

officerhinrika · 15/09/2017 21:33

Books or pantomime tickets

Lowdoorinthewal1 · 15/09/2017 21:38

Could you get an outdoor storage thing that you take with you when you are posted? Like this?

Boarding school family here so we have moved a lot too.

dontcallmethatyoucunt · 15/09/2017 21:42

Well actually that's not strictly true as they do get a very modest stocking, so OK, I'm not totally horrible , but no present to unwrap. We were away though so as far as I'm concerned that's their gift. Believe it or not, I love Xmas, but I just don't think piles of gifts is the joy.

redcaryellowcar · 15/09/2017 21:43

You are right to consider it now or you'll end up with a house like ours! I'm trying to persuade dh that other than Santa (who ought to be sensible) that grandparents/ aunts etc might be better guided into day out trips or paying for an activity e.g. Swimming lessons?

crazyhairdontcare · 15/09/2017 21:47

I hear what you're saying, I really do. But to be honest, in the great scheme of things it doesn't really matter if there is an abundance of toys right now IMO, they are small for such a small period of time. In no time at all they will have abandoned all plastic tat in favor of their ipad and watch youtube incessantly.

applesareredandgreen · 15/09/2017 21:47

UABU if you actually don't buy your children any toys for Christmas. UANBU to think that you don't want any more clutter or that your children don't actually need any more.

Suggest that you out some of their toys away into storage and rotate so that you have less mess and the children actually appreciate the toys as they are playing with them as they will see them again as new toys getting them out of storage.

When my DS was young I used to buy him clothing eg T shirts, pyjamas with favourite characters on somthese seemed more presenty to him, also books, DVDs, craft things so all his presents weren't expensive bits of plastic.

I don't mind clutter though - just don't like spending a fortune unnecessarily.

AcrossthePond55 · 15/09/2017 21:49

Couldn't you do a clear out and donate some of their old toys to make way for new ones? Or a surreptitious clear out after Xmas and donate?

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