To not want my kids to get any toys for Christmas?

[CallMeMaybeee]

I have two girls, 3 and 1.5. They have lovely bedrooms, nothing fancy or extravagant but I've tried to make them nice places for them to sleep. A couple of storage units with toys in, a dress up area, lots of books and some jigsaw puzzles. At the end of the day, we tidy up the toys and then the toys are out of sight ready for bedtime.

They don't have millions of toys, I'd say just the right amount. Purely because I clear them out now & again and give the excess to charity. Having recently done a clear out, I just can't see how either of them will benefit from getting more toys. Countless relatives have been in touch asking what to get them and I've said I'll have a think. The truth is, I don't like the idea of their bedrooms and our living room overflowing without toys. They are well entertained with what they already have. I know my eldest would be devastated if she doesn't get any toys from santa so I'll no doubt go through the motions. I've tried telling relatives not to buy any cumbersome toys but I get the feeling that's going on one ear and out the other.

Am I being cruel? Is the house being covered in toys just something I'll have to get used to? Just to clarify, they do have plenty of toys. I have a large cupboard full and a couple of small storage units. They have a toy kitchen and all the accessories, they have toy cars, bikes, ride ons etc. I just don't want to have one of those houses where you can't move for toys. I'm also not keen on the idea of spoiling the kids and the already have what I would deem to be a more than sufficient amount.

----------------------

Hi! This thread is a little out of date. If you're looking for toy recommendations, take a peek at our roundup of the top Christmas toys - as chosen by Mumsnetters. MNHQ

I can see where OP is coming from.

I live on a small island and we stream everything on TV so the kids aren't very aware of the latest "craze" of toys (nearly 6 and 3 years old) and they don't really get to go into big ToysRUs or toy shops. We were up in Tampa a few weeks back and none of us could leave ToysRUs for 90 minutes because we were all agog at everything for sale in there.

And because we live overseas, when we have visitors (especially grandparents) they always bring gifts for the kids. My MIL comes around November time and buys both of them mountains of little toys, paw patrol stuff, balls etc, stuff that we don't have a clue exists over here! But because she sees the kids once or twice a year, I never ever want to begrudge her watching them open their toys and play with them. It's the delight of being a grandparent, she should be allowed to spoil them at least once a year.

She also leaves big christmas bags for them which we have to hide, and these contain disney toys, new towels, dress up clothes, books, puzzles, legos and small figurines. Basically everything that I would get them for Christmas. So I steal a lot of it and put it in their santa stockings...

Anyway because the kids get showered with stuff, we try not to go overboard at Christmas or on their birthdays.

I've also started making a wishlist for gifts that I know they'll enjoy and can use outside. Stomp rockets, moon boots, bug catchers etc.
I'd recommend fatbraintoys.com if you want more educational stuff that isn't just cluttering crap and you can look for toys you can use outside. We're lucky that we live in a hot country so for me, outdoor toys are far better than indoor ones!

I don't see anything wrong with physical gifts from santa, and asking relatives to contribute to experiences, days out, etc. The little fun things that you get in a stocking normally goes down an absolute treat with younger kids, ime.
My 3yr old nephew was absolutely bored of getting more presents by halfway through Christmas evening last year and just wanted to be left to play with his toy cars. To clarify, he isn't very spoilt and isn't one of those kids that gets hundreds of presents, but after a while it still gets overwhelming. Another nephew absolutely thought that the bouncy, flashy ball his little sister got was the best thing that santa could possibly have brought.
I'm pretty sure there's a thread about experience gifts over on the Christmas board.

Well yes to a degree you have children you have toys. I'm sure I have read if social services visit house with children not a toy is as much of a flag as a house over flowing with dirty nappies and flies.

However I know that dread feeling. What myself and friends do is revolve toys, buy cheap, sell cheap, always move stuff out, Keep it fresh. For Xmas can you ask for contribute to local attractions eg farm where you can get annual passes or national trust member ship , maybe local theatre venue... voucher for clothes...

Stuff DC have been attached to I keep other stuff.. disappears... New stuff comes in.

Os when my DC were that age I got loads of toys free, charity etc... hardly cost anything but gave them something to open!! For Xmas that is. Not easy to do now their older but DH still managed to get DD a laptop her favourite Xmas gift...£10.

YABU, sorry but I think you may spoil Christmas for them if you follow your plans.

I'd just limit what they can have, include nice bedding, clothes, things to do (gardening or cooking sets, crafts etc) and experiences like going to a Pantomime etc. or a children's show).

You could support charities that make and sell toys e.g.

www.tlmtrading.com/gifts/for-children.html

The thing is that children keep changing and wanting new toys for an older age but they very slowly grow out of their old toys! So you try and throw something away and they want it again!

Just go with the flow for a few years. Suddenly, they will start to grow up, stop wanting toys, there will be none to clear away, none to find room for, and you will miss it.

The question for me is, what if they (ok eldest) actually want specific things?

I am a bad parent (ie dd watches some tv and YouTube) and also have an older child, so my nearly three year old has a bunch of stuff she would love to receive. Skye teddy (paw patrol), playmobil, Disney dolls, my little pony. She won't get all of it of course but if relatives were asking I would tell them one of the above as I know her face would light up to get any of it.

You need lists of approved things then !

Agree, craft/painting sets are great, you'll need to store them elsewhere in the house, but will go bit by bit (can you keep a big storage thing downstairs?)

At 3 you can start with simple board games, the Orchard Games types. (At least they are educational).

Dress up costumes, additions to sets you already have ("they've already got the playmobile pirate ship, could you get the red coat /island set to go with it?"), books. Lego/duplo sets are good from 3 onwards.

I do agree about cluttered rooms, although that's why we keep most of the toys in storage units in our lounge rather than upstairs in their rooms.

I must say, from around 4/5, toys start getting smaller for the price, or it's more board games types. Much easier to store.

At that age (3), we started buying orchard toy games and playing as a family. They're board games, all promote counting, observation, memory... and our kids loved them.
orchard toys games
Red dog blue dog
Shopping
Post box
Where's my cupcake
Pig in pants
Ladybird/spotty dog (same counting game different set ups)

All were played on a daily basis for a year or so. Ask your relatives to buy these - you can get them new btw £5-10 and they do them for both smaller bigger kids. They also do puzzles.

You can also find them in charity shops for a £1-2 regularly.

Whoops, only skim read last post - great minds think alike.

I think the notion that masses of toys that will,clutter, break or disappoint is "What Christmas is all about" is very sad and adds to a hedonistic culture. It is the complete antithesis of what Christmas is about.
Maybe ask children to chose a number of toys to go to charity shops before Father Christmas brings new ones. Maybe ask relatives to buy small things and restrict the large 'wow' toys to just grandparents. What about outdoor toys? Pushchairs, tricycles, slide, Wendy house?

How about suggesting things for days out instead. For our DD (she'll be 23 months at Christmas and her birthday is a month later) we're getting her a voucher for the soft play / swimming voucher.

They are both activities she loves and will make great presents but won't take up any space in our house! Maybe a cinema voucher or a trip to one of those pottery painting places?

I'm all for not having so much that none of it gets used, but OP sounds as if she's more fussed about having bedrooms that look nice (or naice) than about anything else. I had that sort of bedroom and longed for a proper one where I could just enjoy myself. Yes encourage people to buy more useful presents, yes recycle what doesn't get played with anymore, but don't be "show-home mother" who cares more about appearances than happiness.

Nike You can be both. Having a good variety of toys doesn't necessary mean you can't have a fabulous looking home.

Storage, however, is key. And a lot of people don't have it/have the room for it

Same here, I'm going to ask for people to club together for a slide or trampoline then Santa will bring Lego, bubble bath, pjs, chocolate and craft stuff. They both have winter birthdays too! Your girls are young enough to be excited about a few little things so I think its fine. X

We've not "done" Xmas for about 20 years. DD, almost 7, has had 7 xmases where the focus has been on family and time together rather than getting stuff (she hasn't chosen to believe in Santa). As far as I can tell the world still turns.

I can get where you are coming from op, my dc has too much stuff imo and she doesn't want to part with a single thing so from last year I drastically reduced the amount that I would buy her so that it would balance out quite well with what others got her.

This year I think practical and useful that she would get joy out of still.

I think the OP spent a lot of time in her post reflecting on what she wants - no clutter, tidy rooms.
What about the kids? Xmas is a wonderful time for gift giving and receiving and your family will be looking forward to getting your daughters treats.
Kids actually grow out of toys fairly quickly and move onto the next developmental stage. Does the OP's daughters really have everything for the next stage of development with toys? Toys are not just clutter - they are very important for learning, role play, taking turns.
I think the OP should move some of the current toys into storage or give them away, or suggest relatives club together for some thing bigger like a climbing frame, trampoline, toy kitchen etc.
The idea of "having to go through the motions" for Xmas for a child does sound joyless quite frankly

I hate being asked what my kids want for presents. Anyone with half an imagination can choose an age appropriate gift. As for the house filling up with toys I've just accepted it's part and parcel of family life although i do a cull pretty regularly. Over the years the kids have been given all sorts of crazy bulky stuff which I eventually get rid of. Don't stress about it.

OP have you seen this is already an article on Metro?!!

metro.co.uk/2017/09/17/mum-doesnt-want-to-buy-her-kids-toys-for-christmas-because-they-clutter-up-the-house-6933644/?ito=fb

This is becoming ridiculous, such lazy journalism

Fame at last wankers

Oh, for heaven's sake, it won't be ruining the magic of Christmas. Most kids that age get present-opening-fatigue at Christmas. They don't need to be overwhelmed with new toys.

I would definitely suggest longer-term things: books, craft supplies, CDs for listening to in the car, clothes, dressing up clothes, etc. Also, you could suggest to some (e.g. grandparents) that a small present to unwrap along with a day out, or even some money in a savings account, would be more valuable than large toys.

Have they got a wii or anything? Get games

I hate being asked what my kids want for presents. Anyone with half an imagination can choose an age appropriate gift.

Just because something is age appropriate doesn't mean it is something the child wants and/or will play with. Why would you begrudge family/friends asking you for information that will mean their gifts are both age appropriate and something the child wants?

It's one thing if they want you to tell them the exact item, the cost and the page to find it in the Argos catalogue as you're doing all the work for them, but I don't see any problem with giving people a general brand/range eg "Sarah loves jigsaw puzzles (anything around 150pc is about the level she's at right now), Harry Potter and craft sets but she's not that fussed with Disney Princess stuff" or "Johnny loves cars, Lego (he just likes to build so he's not that bothered by the themed sets) and anything football related (If you want to buy something team specific he supports Manchester United)"