To e-mail the school?

[wheretoyougonow]

Son is in year 6 and has not had a good day. Over the day he has developed a full on cold. It's obvious. This afternoon he went to a TA and said ' I don't feel well and think I need to go home.' This was her response, 'you see that sign over there? That's says (name of school), not the doctors'

I am not happy with the sarcastic response. I have never e-mailed the school to complain but I just feel that this was unnecessary. I can think of hundreds of responses that would have not included talking to a child in such a way.
So AIBU to e-mail the school and inform them that I he could have been spoken in a better manner? I will try not to write that he is well aware that the school is not where he would expect to see a doctor

So what happened? Did he go home? Did he talk to the teacher?

Yes yabu.

If you want to email to discuss the situation, do it.

Emailing, with the assumption that your child has given you an accurate version of the conversation is a bit daft.

He stayed in his class. This was 2pm. I wouldn't expect them to call home just not be so sarcastic.
I have no reason to think he lying as I've never had an issue before.

I would email in that situation. I wouldn't assume my child was lying. I have seen teachers and TAs speak to children like crap and lie about it.

Yes she was unnecessarily sarcastic, but you sound a bit precious. Schools can't be expected to monitor the health of every pupil who feels under the weather. Unless there's a diagnosed condition pupils need to puking, bleeding or otherwise obviously ill to merit much attention from staff who may have 30 other children to teach. I'm a secondary teacher and honestly if a pupil comes to me feeling vaguely unwell/with a cold during class I am at best briskly sympathetic, unfortunately I don't have time for much else. Perhaps as your son is in Yr6 the TA is trying to adopt a similar approach.

This is BS ^I

I am not saying he is lying.

But often childrens versions differ from what actually happened. In fact it happens with adults too.

Anyone going accusing someone of something, with only one half of the converstation is daft. You wouldnt do it at work or anywhere else. So why would you with the school.

Also just because some TAs or teachers at a different school have been rude, doesmt make all people with the same job, rude.

It's a sort of adult sarcasm that I can't see a child making up off the top of their head tbh.
I would email setting out the facts and asking the Head to look into it. There may be other issues with this TA that they know about. Not that they will tell you, but it might help if that staff member has a problem with being professional.

What's your actual concern? If you're annoyed because you think he was obviously very ill and therefore the school should have sent him home, by all means tell them that.

If you're annoyed because a TA was mildly sarcastic in a clearly lighthearted way that went over your kid's head, then you're being really precious and it would very OTT to email the school about it.

Whereas I think raising both of those concerns is valid.

I would email in that situation. I wouldn't assume my child was lying. I have seen teachers and TAs speak to children like crap and lie about it.

So have I. I still clarify what was said first though by getting the other persons version of events.

Well yes you wouldn't expect to see a Doctor at school but surely you still have a school nurse? I wouldn't email in that situation but I would say something Monday morning.

Schools won't send a child home because they have a cold, unless they're saying burning up. However, the sarcastic comment isn't on, you'd have expected them to say it's only another hour and try and distract them with work.

Polly I think it depends if the OPs DS has any underlying illnesses. Both my DCs have them, and both my DCs have ended up in A&E after being kept at school because someone has declared them fine to still be there.

I would contact the school, yes. Check the facts, but if the TA said it, she was out of line.

A teacher made a similar type of sarcastic comment to my 8 year old last year and really upset her. I am not at all precious but it was completely unnecessary. She admitted it and apologised to my daughter.

I don't send my children to school to have sarcastic comments made to them when they ask a perfectly normal question.

Email the school? Really?

Please don't make yourself one of those parents.

A really sarcastic and horrible TA used that nasty 'I'm not a dentist' bollocks on my DD very many years ago. She still talks about it to this day. Would you like your boss to speak to you like that? It's really inappropriate to use sarcasm to belittle children.

Schools don't have school nurses any more. I went to primary school in the 90s and we didn't even have one then.
I think it sounds like there's a bit of the conversation missing. Her response was sarcastic but the tone might not have been unkind. I'm on the fence as I think it's possible for that conversation to have been nasty or gently sarcastic depending on how it was said.

Well yes you wouldn't expect to see a Doctor at school but surely you still have a school nurse?

No. There have been no medically trained personnel at any school i have ever worked in or had contact with. When my own children were in lower primary, the school nurse used to visit for a couple of hours a couple of times a year, to talk to parents worried about particular things. I have not encountered that as a teacher - i think the service is largely disbanded.

Other members of staff are first aid trained, so can deal with accidents, but illness - no, unless it is clearly critical, in which case we will take a child to hospital if parents cannot be contacted to do so themselves.

It's pretty trivial in the grand scheme of things though, isn't it? And he has a cold, not a broken leg. You could just say 'gosh that wasn't very kind of her' to your DS, brush it off but keep an ear out in case it wasn't a one off by an exasperated TA at the end of a very long week.

JonSnowsWife school nurses are a rare breed these days.. very unlikely there would be one resident in the school unless it's a boarding school.

Friday afternoon teacher bingo is alive and well, I see. Precious, trivial, that parent. I'm disappointed we haven't had snowflake yet.

The TA could well have been sarcastic and not very nice but some people also have a bit of a banter relationship with the children which if you are feeling a bit ropey could be taken to heart. It's their way of trying to jolly along. My kids had a much loved TA that used to tell all the children that he'd chop their limbs off when they had a cut.

I'm not 'one of those parents'. I have never e-mailed even when a broken bone wasn't picked up on!
He did have a temperature but nothing a dose of calpol hasn't sorted.
I wasn't expecting him to be sent home.
I work with the public/young people and would think it rude or unprofessional to be sarcastic.

If a 10 year is spoken to like this by staff then surely it's sets a example to the child. I bet they would correct him if he spoke like that to them.