To e-mail the school?

[wheretoyougonow]

Son is in year 6 and has not had a good day. Over the day he has developed a full on cold. It's obvious. This afternoon he went to a TA and said ' I don't feel well and think I need to go home.' This was her response, 'you see that sign over there? That's says (name of school), not the doctors'

I am not happy with the sarcastic response. I have never e-mailed the school to complain but I just feel that this was unnecessary. I can think of hundreds of responses that would have not included talking to a child in such a way.
So AIBU to e-mail the school and inform them that I he could have been spoken in a better manner? I will try not to write that he is well aware that the school is not where he would expect to see a doctor

Schools do have nurses - but only if they are private schools.

I reported a TA to a head who wouldn't listen to my SN when he'd been hit and then threatened him with the book when he tried to tell her again he'd been hit and show her his arm. She couldn't explain away the fucking huge bruise the next day. Some TAs need reminding they aren't dictators.

*should say 10 year old.

Save complaining for complain worthy issues (and hope there never is any)
You won't ever be taken seriously if you complain about the tone someone used.

I wouldn't email. But I would try and get your son to realise that the TA was probably having a bad day/at the end of her tether/sometimes grown-ups make mistakes. That is assuming it's a one-off. She probably realised as soon as she said it that she'd misjudged.

I've certainly been guilty of fobbing my own children off when I think they just need jollying along and haven't realised that they are actually ill. (Thinks back to the irritating and very inconvenient sore throat that turned out to be full-on tonsillitis - sorry DD2!)

We have a nurse and are a state school (misses point of thread)

Why would they send a child home when he only had a cold and there was only an hour to go?

I suspect her joke was not understood by the 10 year old.

I would not be emailing the school over something so trivial.

*DressedCrab

Email the school? Really?

Please don't make yourself one of those parents.
*
What a horrible comment ! ' One of those parents ?????' All parents should be the type that do not let their kids be spoken to rudely. It's exactly that attitude that makes children feel powerless, not listened to and not important.

Actually, I think you are being oversensitive OP. Learning resilience is important for kids to do - yes you have a cold and you feel a bit rubbish but you can survive the last hour of school. Something we all have to learn.

When I think of all the serious problems that take up a school's time, a parent emailing about a slightly sarcastic comment when a child was feeling a bit off is not something to get in a flap about. It's a Friday afternoon, and we all get tired and aren't as patient as we might have been on Monday. Is everything that comes out of your mouth at work always 100% professional and appropriate, or do you slip a little when you are tired or busy? The levels of accountability in education are ridiculous now, for all staff - every aspect of work is analysed, every action recorded, every comment potentially scrutinised and every parent can email every tiny issue - the balance is all wrong. To get the Head investigating the staff member as someone suggested is absolutely appalling!

Small things like this come under the category - really not done any harm at all. Teach your child it's not important and not worth his worry - nor yours.

Hope his cold clears up soon.

We don't even have a school nurse in the local authority, never mind in our school.

Not professional imo. But I wouldn't email the teacher. Just let it slide.

I don't think I'd appreciate sarcastic words if I was feeling like shite personified!

Would I email the school? No.

I think it does really depend on the tone - the TA may have been cross and exasperated, or your son may not have picked up on a gentler tone. I understand your feeling that sarcasm isn't professional, but there are times when gentle sarcasm or humour is effective.

If this is a one-off incident, it really doesn't seem like a big enough deal to contact the school about.

Gosh... I'm a teacher and it's threads like this that make me worry about making light-hearted jokes with the kids in case they take it the wrong way and a parent complains. Dealing with parents has become one of the hardest things about the job. It is impossible to know the exact situation in this circumstance.

Is he usually quite sensitive? It could have been said in a lighthearted way. I've found the further up a Primary School you go, the most sarcastic and jokey the teachers and TAs are. Usually the children enjoy it.

I've been known, when a child has said, "Miss, it hurts when I do this", to say, "Well don't do it then!". Or "I'm not a dentist, ask your parent/carer to book you an appointment".

If he was that unwell, why didn't he speak to his teacher instead of the TA? My money is on it being tongue in cheek and he took it to heart because he was feeling poorly.

Ticks off sensitive

Email the school? Really? Please don't make yourself one of those parents

Ehrm do you mean " please don't make yourself one of those parents who tells, be the one of those parents who lets people in chargemof kids be rather mean and horrid to them".?

Our school has a policy that you send the children in ill and school decide if they are poorly enough to go home so I could have had fun with this statement!

@kittybiscuits is there a reason you seem to be so bitterly against teachers?

RE The actual state statement. I wouldn't be happy. However I'd firstly have to find out her tone. Was it said in a bantery type of manner or with sarcasm. Often its not what's said. Its how its said.

I think the thing is most parents consider their child but schools are faced by numerous children saying they are ill- all day every day. Unless they are clearly ill, most schools adopt the brisk sympathy and say something like 'Well do your best and let's see how you are at lunchtime.' Reception at the secondary school where I was Deputy Head counted one week and something like 140 children went there over the week saying they were unwell. Some children went every day and one went several times every day.

However would say dismiss a child with a head ache (joking or not)
And Then next seconds a child could at deaths door with meningitis.
You hear about these things.

I'm not against teachers at all. Have always in fact been very supportive of teachers and teaching. What I don't like is the nasty sneering comments on MN and the frankly quite predictable insults, whenever a parent posts a thread about how their child was treated at school. Small child with a cold and a temperature saying they felt ill and thought they needed to go home. I think it would have been reasonable to check out if they could wait for an hour until home time, and if not, call mum. I'm particularly not a fan of the minority of teachers and TAs who use this kind of hackneyed and inappropriate sarcasm. It's very destructive and can impact very deeply on a child's confidence and self-esteem. It's not laughing with the child, it's laughing at them. It's really unkind.

I would let it go. Tell your son that yes it was a thoughtless thing to say but adults don't always get it right. I really do think it was most likely intended as a joke rather than to be mean to an ill 10 year old.

Thank you to (nearly!) all of you that have replied.
I have read them all. I think maybe I'm being sensitive because he was upset but this was probably because he felt rubbish.
I won't contact the school but will keep an eye on it.

The teaching staff were so amazing last year so hopefully this year will be good too. They were not good the year before so I'm very conscious about how this could go.
If you think someone is BU you don't need to be personal or rude. Some people have written rather eloquently why they wouldn't e-mail and I have listened.
And just one last time - I was NOT expecting them to call or send him home