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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to suggest to dh which story to read to the dd's tonight?

65 replies

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:02

Dh is in a huff because tonight as the girls were having a bath I leaved through the story book they are currently reading and suggested stories of titles they could read. He got totally arsey about it and said he wouldn't read it out of principle now, and that I was being a control freak.

FFS I was only making suggestions. Girls got quite upset as well because they were begging him to read the 12 Dancing Princesses or whatever that I had suggested and he said no.

I don't know what got into him, I normally always sort out the stuff he reads to them at night, I got books like the Faraway Tree and stuff for him.

IMO he is being an arse, what does everybody else think.

OP posts:
oxocube · 04/04/2007 19:14

Actually, if he bathed them as well, I would be doubly delighted (and scared - weirdville in the oxohousehold!!)

AnnabelCaramel · 04/04/2007 19:15

Bloody hell I'd be glad if my dh EVER got home in time for bathtime. That would be a fairystory.

What a thing to get worked up about.

beckybrastraps · 04/04/2007 19:16

I leave bedtime totally up to DH and DCs.

I think you are BU. Sorry.

PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:16

Emkana, they sound very similar. On hair-wash nights I usually towel dd2 and dry her hair and DH is called up to help dd1 towel-dry and do her hair. Well dd1's towel was sopping wet and instead of using her other towel dh went to use mine. DD1 told him not to that's Mummy's towel, use my other towel and I said, yes, use the other one, not mine (not hygeinic..etc) and DH started ranting and stomped off and flatly refused to help dd1 at all. He left her bemused and in tears and guess who ended up having to sort out both dds? Yes, me, Muggins!! Grrr!!

princessmelTingChoccyEggs · 04/04/2007 19:18

I don't think its bad that you made a suggestion. We're you just thinking out loud 'that one would be nice ' etc.?
I think it was was childish of him not to read it if the girls wanted it though.

Don't get that you normally sort out the stuff he reads. Surely the children can choose for themselves or if not then him. He's the one who's got to read it. They're the ones listening to it.

foxinsocks · 04/04/2007 19:19

just noticed your other thread in health

sounds like you're both a bit touchy at the moment (understandable - not having a go)

step back from it all and try not to let it escalate - it's just the sort of minor row that gets very annoying and under the skin

OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:21

theres too mcuh "i do this you do that" cnat you both just lead by exampl?
do kind things becase you want to?

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:35

Well I still think he is being an arse about it.

If I had known he would react like that of course I wouldn't have done it.

I just didn't think it would be such a f*ing BIG DEAL. I didn't march up to him and say "Read this tonight" I was only making suggestions.

Tbh the way I am feeling generally atm I can just do without this shit.

I have been feeling fragile all day because ds is ill, and dh knows this too. So he can just get lost as far as I'm concerned.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:38

and cod to be perfectly honest I don't know where you take the evidence from to come to these general conclusions about our relationship.

OP posts:
PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:43

I'm totally with you Emkana. I tend to forget that my DH is like this, then you accidentally suggest something which usually would be something totally unremarkable or harmless and for some stupid reason he will take it the wrong way and completely turn. I end up like you, wishing I could have predicted his totally irrational (and IMO unreasonable) behaviour, because of course I wouldn't intentionally say something to set him off. My DH will then go off in a huff and not speak to me or dds for days whilst he sulks. It is horrible and tends to happen on a 6 weekly cycle.

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:46

it's bleeding hard work isn't it pesto

OP posts:
MrsGordonRamsay · 04/04/2007 19:48

Have only read the OP.

But that is his time with the children. They can speak for themselves can they not ?

lapsedrunner · 04/04/2007 19:52

DH puts DS to bed so DH choses book....sounds logical to me......get a life

hana · 04/04/2007 19:52

when dh does bath and bed I disappear, am glad to have a break from doing it. whatever books they read ? I dont care tbh as it's one less decison that I have to make

PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:54

It flipping well is. I really sympathise with you. Sometimes I am seething so much that I can't sleep and end up in the middle of the night writing down what actually happened, just to make sure I am not going mad and imagining the unreasonableness of it all. I have also, from time to time, wondered about splitting up over it, but not actually gone down that road. Nowadays I tend to try and be the 'grown-up' and calmly talk to him as if nothing's happened. He will, however, do his best to avoid me & the dds for a couple of days or so, whilst he gets over his tantrum. We just ignore him and get on as best we can as normal.

Soapbox · 04/04/2007 19:54

Oh be nice to Emkana please... she's just said that her DS isn't well

It isn't the biggest thing in the world to get bothered about Emkana, for you or DH. Perhaps he reacted badly tonight because he is worried about your DS too?

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:55

lapsedrunner, thanks for your post, but I could have done without the "get a life" comment tbh.

Which is my polite way of saying something completely different.

OP posts:
PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:56

Emkana, I am referring to unreasonable dh behaviour, not specifically the choosing of bedtime stories.... just in case it's getting a bit confused.

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:56

Thanks soapbox

I better step away from this thread now because it's just made me cry now.

OP posts:
AnnabelCaramel · 04/04/2007 19:57

oh FGS GET A GRIP!!!!!

misdee · 04/04/2007 19:58

emkana, go get away from the pc and tak to your dh.

Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 19:58

Are you talking to me?

What is going on tonight?
I haven't normally experiences MN like this.

I really better go now.

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 04/04/2007 20:00

not you misdee

I will talk to dh when he gets back from putting petrol into his car.

OP posts:
MrsGordonRamsay · 04/04/2007 20:11

Dear Lord

Emkana asked a question, she wanted some answers, she did not need to be told to get a life, or for that matter get a grip.

Just as matter of interest, are either of you aware of the situation in Em's life at the moment.

I for one would not walk a 100 yards in her shoes, never mind a frigging mile. (No offence Emkana.)

elasticbandstand · 04/04/2007 20:16

quite agree gordon, it is so not nice to jump on people like that

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