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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to suggest to dh which story to read to the dd's tonight?

65 replies

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:02

Dh is in a huff because tonight as the girls were having a bath I leaved through the story book they are currently reading and suggested stories of titles they could read. He got totally arsey about it and said he wouldn't read it out of principle now, and that I was being a control freak.

FFS I was only making suggestions. Girls got quite upset as well because they were begging him to read the 12 Dancing Princesses or whatever that I had suggested and he said no.

I don't know what got into him, I normally always sort out the stuff he reads to them at night, I got books like the Faraway Tree and stuff for him.

IMO he is being an arse, what does everybody else think.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 04/04/2007 19:03

Overly controlling, IMO - why do you need to sort it out for him?

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:04

I was only making suggestions!

And if he didn't get books from the library/the bookshop they wouldn't have anything to read.

OP posts:
compo · 04/04/2007 19:04

Sounds like he overreacted - had he had a stressful day? maybe he sees it as his alone time with his kids and saw your kind help as interference. Sounds like knackered rowing for the sake of it iyswim

misdee · 04/04/2007 19:04

IMO you should let him and the girls choose. so he is right.

dh does the stories here, and unless i have a brand new book for them, they choose themselves what daddy get to read to them. he is fed up of charlie and lola 'but thats my book' now though.

sorry!

fuzzywuzzy · 04/04/2007 19:05

not unreasonable to suggest at all.

Is he particularly stressed at the moment?? My h ofccasionally does bizarre stuff like this, and then utterly regrets it...

OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:05

i think you are contorlling tbh

EasterSparklerEgg · 04/04/2007 19:05

DH and I always let our DDs which story they would like. A suggestion maybe?

hunkermunker · 04/04/2007 19:06

It's in the bigger picture of things - you have posted in the past about him not "playing with them properly" and reading the paper while you thought he should be playing with them, haven't you? Or am I misremembering?

So he probably felt a bit got at.

PestoEasterMonster · 04/04/2007 19:07

My dh is exactly like this. You can't suggest he does anything coz he then flatly refuses to do it. I've found over the years that anything he does has to come from him. He has to think that he thought of it first. So, another time you have to stay quiet and get your dds to ask for what they want. Don't get involved yourself or he won't do it. Well, that's what mine is like and he sounds the same as yours. I've learnt this the hard way.

custy · 04/04/2007 19:07

your both wrong

you shouldnt have suggested - he's a grown up

he shouldnt have overreacted the way he did. erm... becuase he's supposed to be a grown up

OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:08

ker chign custy

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:08

So if your dh does bedtime stories, do they purchase or borrow books themselves to read to the children? Or do you take care of that?

I just don't understand why this is suddenly controlling, when he's usually quite happy to let me take care of it.

Also, I didn't go in and say "Read this tonight"

I was reading out story titles while the girls were in the bath, saying "what do you think of ...?" and when I came to the 12 Dancing Princesses the girls shouted yeah, yeah.

Cue dh going off on one.

OP posts:
compo · 04/04/2007 19:08

yes it was very churlish of him not to read the story they wanted

DimpledThighs · 04/04/2007 19:09

he is reading it he chooses - let go a bit.

He is bathing them so what are you doing leafing through the story books? Go read the paper, have a cup of tea, watch the news.

Use this as a time to have a break - they can sort the story thing out (and what would happen in the big scheme of things if he read the 'wrong' story?!?!)

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:09

Pesto, that's it, he has this thing that he "won't take orders" FFS.

He's been known to say to me though "I want you take my trousers to the dry cleaner's"

double standards me thinks.

OP posts:
compo · 04/04/2007 19:09

my dh reads bedtime stories and he decides with ds what to rrad. He buys bedtime reading books for ds and I buy/borrow the ones that are read in the day mostly. I never interfere with it cos I'm not bothered about it!!

OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:10

"So if your dh does bedtime stories, do they purchase or borrow books themselves to read to the children? Or do you take care of that?
"

no i buy r borrow cos i liek ti and he is out workign to support us all

have never conteplated htis
we dont do "tit for tat" ont eh whole

compo · 04/04/2007 19:10

oh yes, once bedtime starts i'm on the PC with wine, that's why I don't care what's going on

mousiemousie · 04/04/2007 19:11

Whole thing not worth rowing over emkana

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:11

cod, my point is that he doesn't accuse me of control freakery if I buy/borrow books for them to read, because he's too lazy to do it/doesn't have time

so it simply didn't occur to me that he would this too much all of a sudden

OP posts:
misdee · 04/04/2007 19:11

i do the book-buying as dh cant get to the shops himself. but the girls books are accessable to them and they go and choose,. dh reads.

oxocube · 04/04/2007 19:12

Well I would be delighted if my husband offered to read anything to any of the kids, so I'm not the best person to ask

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:12

DimpledTHighs, bath time in this house is always spent with all of us together really.

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OrvilleRedenbacher · 04/04/2007 19:12

emkana
who cares wher the boooks come from?
who cares?
thast not the issue.

emkana · 04/04/2007 19:13

cod I think it is though because I think it's double standards of him to find this control freakery when I normally choose the reading material by buying/borrowing it.

OP posts: