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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was an outrageous request from our landlord and to be a bit suspicious?

398 replies

pinkowl · 14/09/2017 09:24

We rent our house and have been here for 3 years, so it is very much our home.

Some background. The landlords aren't buy to lets, they inherited this house and we are the first tenants. Before letting they completely refurbished the property - new bathrooms, kitchens, windows, carpets, roof extension, the lot. They did it themselves to a high standard and it's lovely. I can imagine that they're proud of it (relevant)

We have a good relationship with them. They're not local but come down to see family sometimes and tend to use the opportunity to do any maintenance that needs doing. Recently they've been sprucing up the exterior.

Onto the outrageous request! She text me yesterday and explained that she was coming down with a girlfriend who knew the house as it was before, and would love to see what it looks like now. And could they come round today so the friend could have a look round the house.

I feel pretty disgruntled. This is our home and of course I don't want a complete stranger traipsing around looking at it out of curiosity. Surely as a landlord once a property has tenants, you leave them be unless there's a real reason. We have annual inspections with the leggings agency which is bad enough, but obviously accept as being part and parcel of renting.

I also feel a bit paranoid. It seems such an unreasonable thing to even ask that I'm concerned there could be an ulterior motive. Perhaps the friend is an estate agent who could cast an informal eye. I'd like to think that if they had plans to sell that they'd be upfront, but you never know.

They do have photos of the house as they were used in the original advert - can't they just show the friend those?! Why would the friend herself want to impose upon strangers in their home?!

I politely replied that it wasn't convenient today. But should I be concerned?

OP posts:
Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 12:31

A rental is like a hotel after all, you just stay longer.

Oh my god, are you actually serious?

This is where DD learnt to potty train. This is where she lost her first tooth. This is where Father Christmas visits. This is the house that welcomes her home every day after school, welcomes us home every day after work, welcomes us home after holidays. We've loved here, cried here, argued here, been ill here. Our plants grow in the garden, our pictures are on the walls. We've welcomed our family and friends here.

This isn't a hotel. We might not own the bricks and mortar but it is absolutely our home.

OP posts:
Runningpear · 14/09/2017 12:37

Pinkowl - don't respond the comments like the 'hotel' one so emotionally. Its designed to make you react so don't given them satisfaction!
BTW I dwould not think you were being unreasonable I wouldn't want a stranger traipsing through my house just being nosy either.

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 12:38

Coddi you sound like some sort of 1930s slum landlord with aspirations.

BoffinMum · 14/09/2017 12:42

Hmmmmmm, seen both sides of the landlord/tenant relationship and currently a landlord.

I would humour her but gently say it's a favour as she's such a good landlady, and it's her friend. Indicate it's a one-off.

Try to be very much the hostess though, if you can, so you have the upper hand in the power relationship when the 'friend' comes around.

If she starts taking the mickey generally then ring the managing agent and get them to tell her to stop.

VilootShesCute · 14/09/2017 12:42

I totally wouldn't have a problem with this. Is her house after all Hmm

coddiwomple · 14/09/2017 12:42

The saddest thing about the thread is that some posters would be over the moon in a few weeks to discover that the landlord is selling the house, proving that they were right to say they were "up to something". Hmm

I only meant that the description of these people who seem to have been decent enough for 3 years is a bit over the top. And yes, until you pay for your property in full, it's not yours, it belongs to a landlord or your bank. Hardly a ground breaking discovery.

specialsubject · 14/09/2017 12:44

if you want some security, get in touch about arranging a new fixed term tenancy. Then if the place is sold, the new owner becomes your new landlord with all other terms the same.

plantsitter · 14/09/2017 12:45

As ever on these threads, you need to recognise the difference between 'owning a house' and 'having a home'. 2 different things. Luckily the law recognises the need for 'quiet enjoyment' of the latter.

Viviennemary · 14/09/2017 12:47

I don't think there is anything dodgy or odd about the request. The people are obviously a bit more attached to the house than the usual landlords. They did ask nicely. I think I'd probably have let them. After all it's not as if they're asking every other week. Once in three years I don't think is too unreasonable. But you are entitled to refuse.

existentialmoment · 14/09/2017 12:47

I totally wouldn't have a problem with this. Is her house after all hmm

But she rents it out to someone else for probably a lot of money. She can't treat as her house, its not her home. She may own it but she has no right to enter it.

existentialmoment · 14/09/2017 12:49

It's a worry when people start to think it's their home

It's a worry you don't realise that it IS their home. Do you need to borrow a dictionary?

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 12:49

Viloot yes but when she rented it out, she gave the tenants certain rights over the property.

MrsOverTheRoad · 14/09/2017 12:51

Regarding the whole "It's not your house" thing

Those people with mortgages...would you be happy for your bank to send visitors over to the house? Because they're the real owners of the house and not you?

Because until you've paid it off, as Coddi says, it's not yours anyway.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 14/09/2017 12:53

I'm usually the most tenant-friendly person going, and I am regularly horrified over the lack of protection and rights given to tenants in UK law, but I think this request is fine. She's asking, not commanding. Say she had sold the house to you, she might make exactly the same request, with exactly the same right to have it accepted or refused (the 'it's her house after all' posters are part of what's wrong with the UK housing market with its awful attitude to tenants. It's the OP's home). And she has accepted your 'no'.

If it did turn out she was lying to you and planning to sell, then obviously that puts a different complexion on the matter, but so it does on your whole relationship.

coddiwomple · 14/09/2017 12:54

don't be daft MrsOverTheRoad
Ok, the landlord was wrong to ask (good grief, a reasonable adult asking another adult something). The landlord is also wrong not to put the rent up every year and be completely professional about it.

It's ridiculous.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 14/09/2017 13:00

The concept of a basically decent landlord being 'amazing' is pretty much akin to that of a basically decent husband (cooks now and again, clears up after himself, is capable of looking after his own children) being 'amazing' and the wife being 'soooo lucky'. And the roots are the same - the power differential, boosted by the frankly appalling legal status (or rather lack of it) of the tenant.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 13:00

I think Mrs made a very good analogy actually.

OP posts:
Wendigoed · 14/09/2017 13:01

The landlord is also wrong not to put the rent up every year and be completely professional about it.

What has this to do with the OP? You are coming across as one of those greedy immoral sorts you know!

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 13:04

Interesting post hetero.

I always describe us as "lucky" with regards to our landlords and really, it's sad I should even be thinking that way. We pay rent - we should be entitled to live in good conditions and have issues responded to in a timely fashion. Not feel lucky that we haven't got a broken boiler and damp problem.

OP posts:
coddiwomple · 14/09/2017 13:05

What has this to do with the OP?
because it's the OP who said that the rent hasn't been changed in 3 years, and that's the only time the landlord has made a request? (request, not command).

But if you think landlord = "greedy" and "immoral", there's no much point going into a discussion with you Grin
Why do people have such a chip on their shoulder about being tenant ion this forum? I have never seen that in real life.

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 13:07

I'm a bit puzzled at why not putting rent up is wrong. If a landlord falls on their feet with decent, reliable tenants then surely it makes sense to try and keep them there long term. Not push them out with rent increases.

OP posts:
QuiteUnfitBit · 14/09/2017 13:08

The landlord is also wrong not to put the rent up every year and be completely professional about it.
I am very professional about letting my DM's old home, but I haven't put up the rent in three years. The two are not related at all!

Original poster
pinkowl · 14/09/2017 13:11

Why do people have such a chip on their shoulder about being tenant ion this forum? I have never seen that in real life.

Do you tell people in real life that their home isn't actually their home but more akin to a hotel? And that they shouldn't get too attached to it?

OP posts:
WorldofTofuness · 14/09/2017 13:11

Hanlon's razor (cock-up over conspiracy).

No, YANBU to refuse; yes, they WBabitU to ask if it was really as blunt as the OP suggests (ie no "would it be possible", "We'll understand if you don't want to", etc.).

But it doesn't sound like there's anything more to it, just a LL that hasn't quite absorbed the need to be 100% professional in dealings with tenants. Normally the lack of professionalism is manifest more in the upkeep of the property (eg genuinely forgetting to sort a gas safety cert, rather than the rogues who deliberately avoid or forge)--which doesn't seem to be the issue here.

Having been caught in a world of stress myself when a simple misunderstanding escalated, if this is a one-off I would be inclined to refuse politely. Save your dudgeon for if/when more requests follow, or if they get antsy at your refusal...

coddiwomple · 14/09/2017 13:13

I'm a bit puzzled at why not putting rent up is wrong
I didn't say it's wrong, I said that your LL seems to be friendly enough, and ask a friendly request. Ok, maybe it was unprofessional, but then they are friendly enough to keep the existing rent. I really cannot see the issue. One request over 3 years does not sound OTT in that context.