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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be embarrassed that I cried in front of the teacher?

56 replies

Pinkmittens · 12/09/2017 21:32

My Dd has had a lovely first week at school, loves going and had been having some great feedback. Today however, I think that the tiredness of starting school is getting to her and the teacher started reeling off all these bad things that Dd had been doing. I was shocked, as I had been so happy that everything had been going well, that I burst into tears whilst talking to the teacher. I am now horribly embarrassed at being so emotional. I'm really not looking forward to dropping Dd off tomorrow as DH thinks I've been silly and said that the teacher won't tell me anything anymore if she thinks I'm going to cry at every little thing.

OP posts:

Mammyloveswine · 12/09/2017 21:38

What "bad things" did the teacher list? I'm a teacher and unless something was really bad (i.e. Hurting another child) then I wouldn't mention day to day stuff like needing to be reminded to line up quietly!
How old is your DD? Just have a quiet word with the teacher in the morning and apologise for getting upset, bet the teacher is mortified too thinking they've upset you x

smu06set · 12/09/2017 21:40

Hah I have cried countless times on our school SENCO! It won't have phased the teacher in the slightest, they've seen it all before.

BlondeB83 · 12/09/2017 21:44

Parents crying in front of a teacher is more common than you think - don't worry about it!

JMKid · 12/09/2017 21:45

She won't care at all. I've had parents, 18 year old boys cry to me. With parents unless they bring it up I pretend it didn't happen.

Original poster

Pinkmittens · 12/09/2017 21:45

My DD is 4 and had SEN. That's what probably worries me the most. They probably expect to have some teething issues but I am really sensitive about her being so different from the other children.

OP posts:

imip · 12/09/2017 21:46

I've cried a number of times in front of sencos also! Don't worry!

alwaysontimeneverlate · 12/09/2017 21:46

Are you one of those parents that hangs about for a update on how her (your dd) day has been Every. Single. Day.

If so then that's why she told you all the details of every little thing.

WhooooAmI24601 · 12/09/2017 21:47

I teach Reception and have at least three or four parents cry at the start of each school year; it can be an enormous change not to mention a huge challenge for families. Totally normal, the teacher won't think about it again.

I've also cried in front of DS1's teacher on occasion. Perfectly fine thing to do, don't give it another thought and rest assured that lots of children find the transition into Reception tricky, a couple of misdemeanours don't mean she's gone rogue.

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 12/09/2017 21:48

Of course you might be a bit sensitive, it's your baby's first week at school! My daughter is in year 3 now and all of her teachers have seen me cry over the most ridiculous things. Mostly because I've been permanently pregnant the last four years and am a big bag of hormones!

WhooooAmI24601 · 12/09/2017 21:49

always That's a pretty rude thing to say. OP's DD has SEN and even if she didn't, plenty of parents want to collect their children and have an update.

sonjadog · 12/09/2017 21:50

I work as a teacher and crying is very normal. Kids, teens, parents, teachers, heads of department. I've seen them all cry. The teacher won't think anything of it, don't be embarassed.

Original poster

Pinkmittens · 12/09/2017 21:51

No alwaysontime I don't hang around for feedback. She had asked to speak to me after school. I wish I could just pick Dd and go without any feedback like the other parents....

OP posts:

Mrsglitterfairy · 12/09/2017 21:52

I've done it. When DS was coming to the end of reception, almost every day his teacher wanted to see me about something or other he had done. Never really anything big, just silly things but enough to tell me and one day it was just too much and I burst into tears!

whiteroseredrose · 12/09/2017 21:53

Don't worry I'm sure teachers have seen it all, particularly in reception. The first few weeks can be stressful for lots of parents. Go in next week as usual.

NC4now · 12/09/2017 21:54

DS is just going into year 11 now. Also SEN. I've cried on more teachers than I haven't.
Don't worry about it. Loads of mums cry at teachers.

alwaysontimeneverlate · 12/09/2017 21:55

For reference I am a parent of a child with SEN.

I posted (or was typing) prior to the OP revealing the SEN

I hate having to hang about to talk to the class teacher,over usually quite important issues, cos 10 other mums want an update glowing report of how fucking fantastic their kids are.

OP the reception stage is hard there is a lot to learn for them and you. Give yourself a break, the teacher will be used to it.

Outnotdown · 12/09/2017 21:56

Don't be embarrassed, I've cried in front of two different teachers, and was mortified, but if their reaction was anything to go by, it's not a big deal.

It is so stressful and overwhelming, sending your little one off, and if you've extra concerns It's no wonder you had a reaction. I hope your dd settles in OK

AtHomeDadGlos · 12/09/2017 21:56

Take it on board and try to work on it at home. tbf to the teacher raising issues early is a good way of trying to knock them on the head.

Theseaweed · 12/09/2017 21:58

Please don't worry about crying. You certainly are not the first parent to cry and won't be the last.

ohthegoats · 12/09/2017 21:58

Agree with those who say they've seen crying a lot. I'm a SENCO, someone cries on me at least once a day. No worries, we're used to it.

QuackDuckQuack · 12/09/2017 21:59

I think they've seen it all before. Or at least that's what I tell myself. If my DD cries it tends to make me cry and that's caught me out at school before. And I properly blubber at DD's reception teacher when thanking her for DD's report as she totally got DD, appreciated her qualities and quirks and got her off to a flying start in school. It's making me cry just thinking about it

elephantoverthehill · 12/09/2017 22:00

Don't worry Op. I'm a teacher (secondary) but tears are normal emotions, staff, parents and sometimes children. My poor childminder got it though when Dd hid in some shelving with a friend on the second day of reception, from the teacher. There was a search party sent out! Just normal settling in

mineofuselessinformation · 12/09/2017 22:01

Don't be embarrassed. It's human to be a parent and worry about your child, especially if they have additional needs.
I think the teacher was trying to give you a heads-up on a few niggly issues that might or might not settle down. If they do, that's great. If they don't, at least you are aware of them.

Amaried · 12/09/2017 22:03

She wouldn't have taken a tack of notice. Of course she will
Understand that you are on tenderhooks more than most, please don't give it another thought.

friendlyflicka · 12/09/2017 22:03

My children are 10 and 14 and I am still capable of crying with the teacher. Don't worry - you'll get used to it. All my children's teachers have been sweet about it

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