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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be embarrassed that I cried in front of the teacher?

56 replies

Pinkmittens · 12/09/2017 21:32

My Dd has had a lovely first week at school, loves going and had been having some great feedback. Today however, I think that the tiredness of starting school is getting to her and the teacher started reeling off all these bad things that Dd had been doing. I was shocked, as I had been so happy that everything had been going well, that I burst into tears whilst talking to the teacher. I am now horribly embarrassed at being so emotional. I'm really not looking forward to dropping Dd off tomorrow as DH thinks I've been silly and said that the teacher won't tell me anything anymore if she thinks I'm going to cry at every little thing.

OP posts:

MonsterChopz · 12/09/2017 22:06

I've cried twice in front of primary 1 teacher and once during a meeting with head teacher. It is a bit embarrassing but don't worry about it - at least it shows you care.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/09/2017 22:09

Wow tge teacher did that, about a 4 year old. Talk about negative and self fulfilling prophecy. The teacher sounds bad! Did she talk about good things yiur dd had done. Does not sound like a nice teacher.

LilaoftheGreenwood · 12/09/2017 22:12

Your DH was a bit of a dick about it tbh.

MrsDc7 · 12/09/2017 22:18

I remember my first parents evening after DS1 started primary school. I was so convinced it was going well and he was a genius when she politely informed me that he was below where he should be I got upset because it was so unexpected. She wasn't remotely phased by it

junebirthdaygirl · 12/09/2017 22:18

I'm a teacher and have cried in front of my dcs teachers on a few occasions. All to do with dyspraxia etc.
As a teacher we see it on a regular basis and quite honestly forget about it as its so normal to us. Dont give it another thought. Just head in as normal tomorrow.
Your dh is off with his comments.

alltouchedout · 12/09/2017 22:19

Teachers are normal people, they know that sometimes people cry. Don't beat yourself up about it.

FlyingGoose · 12/09/2017 22:21

I have a son with SN just started year one, I have cried a few times including the first day of year one. I cried as soon as I saw her! Had a tough summer with him and that morning he had screamed for an entire hour. You are not alone.

GrockleBocs · 12/09/2017 22:24

I too have cried on the SENCO. I knew I was going too cry so I'd written it down. Then she nearly cried too. She's very nice :)

SparklyUnicornPoo · 12/09/2017 22:27

Its the second week of reception, I still have parents that are a bit teary eyed as they drop their kids off, we've even got a decent box of tissues just for parent tears. You won't be the only parent to cry this week and quite honestly, the teacher will just be glad you care, I had to speak to a parent yesterday about their child's behaviour and got 'oh well' and they walked off, which was pretty much the attitude I was complaining about from their child.

maggiso · 12/09/2017 22:27

i found those early weeks of my learning disabled autistic son starting main stream school quite difficult- and I shed a few tears at how he struggled - and got things wrong. It's really the first time the extra challenges a child with SEN faces every day are inescapable.
Don't be embarrassed - perhaps DH can take her to school?

Juanbablo · 12/09/2017 22:32

Please don't worry. I've cried in front of teachers many times. Ds1 has SN and I've cried in the SENCo's office a few times, also in front of class teachers. I'm sure the teacher is used to it.

SandyY2K · 12/09/2017 22:46

I cried in front of the Deputy Head when my DD was being bullied. She was absolutely great.

I wouldn't worry about it.

JWrecks · 12/09/2017 22:47

She doesn't give a toss and there is nothing to be embarrassed about! At least you care enough to cry about your DD!

My mum has been a teacher for decades, and she is STILL shocked by the number of parents who do not care at all, will not return a phone call, have never met with her, and have basically zero involvement in their children's lives. Granted her students are a few years older than your DD, but still. At least you care!! She'll be grateful for that, I'm sure!

ASDsos · 12/09/2017 22:51

Gosh I have cried many times on DS's teachers. I also work in a school and see the other side of it and seen many parents cry. Don't give it another thought.

Claireshh · 12/09/2017 22:51

Our school do a meet the teacher session in the last week of term so that parents can meet their child's new teacher. At the end of the sessions most parents go up and say hello. I was the last parent to speak to my daughter's teachers (job share). My daughter has Absence Seizures so we had a chat about that. I then said 'oh just to give you a heads up my mum has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I then burst into tears. I was SO SO mortified! Still am actually.

SkeletonSkins · 12/09/2017 22:55

I'm a teacher and a SENCO, this happens loads honestly. She'll just have seen how much you care, please please don't worry.

coffeekittens · 12/09/2017 23:02

The way you say 'bad' things makes me belive that the way in which the teacher was discussing your DD was in a negative way (I know it's not a pleasant talk to have but a good teacher will try and make the conversation about positive outcomes, not focusing on negative stuff that has been and gone). Could it be the teacher isn't experienced with SEN enough? Does your DD have a 1:1?

coffeekittens · 12/09/2017 23:03

Also YANBU for crying, it happens, lots.

sadeyedladyofthelowlands63 · 12/09/2017 23:06

Teachers are normal people, they know that sometimes people cry. Don't beat yourself up about it.

This. I'm a teacher and have had countless parents cry in front of me. I take it as a sign that they care about their children. A good sign.

manicinsomniac · 12/09/2017 23:07

It happens quite often, I wouldn't worry about it.

To be honest, I completely panic when a parent cries on me. I have no idea whether to carry on talking, try and comfort them, offer tissues, pretend it's not happening, give them a hug (?!) and just feel all frozen and rabbit in the headlights. But I think that's unusual and know it's totally my issue to deal with, not the parents. Most teachers aren't phased by it. It's natural when you're discussing difficult or momentous things about someone's child.

JammyGeorge · 12/09/2017 23:09

I cried to at a teacher last week, I feel a bit stupid but I'm fronting it out. These things happen.

doze931 · 12/09/2017 23:38

My son is in p1 and has done 2 years of nursery. He also had SEN. I cudnt tell you how many times i have cried to teachers. Even when viewing a school i cried as it wasn t mainstream. They have all been lovely and usually have tissues at the ready

Jux · 12/09/2017 23:50

I think your dd's teacher will feel very sympathetic towards you.

Jux · 12/09/2017 23:52

I bet she wanted to give you a hug and tell you it'll be alright. As she can't, I will ((((((hug))))))

MidniteScribbler · 13/09/2017 00:16

If I had a dollar for every parent that cried on me, I wouldn't need to be teaching.

It's no big deal, and we don't think any less of you for it. TBH, we probably don't think about it at all.

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