Given a bollocking at work

[weebarra]

I work in a public sector middle management role. I've worked part time as a student, then full and part-time in a professional role, since I was 16.
Today I got a total bollocking over the phone from a senior member of another department about something I have responsibility for but hadn't done. (Didn't know it needed done).
Am I being a special snowflake to never have been spoken to like that before in my working life at the age of almost 40? AIBU to be a bit upset?

No YANBU. There's no need to speak to anyone without courtesy and respect. It's very unprofessional

Hope you're OK

what did they say to you? What had you not done, did it cause a huge problem?

When you say total bollocking and that you've never been spoken to before like that, what do you mean? Did they shut at you? Insult you? Patronise you?

I think it's fine to be upset at any telling off/dressing down but if they shouted or swore at you etc., then I actually it's a bigger issue than you just being upset- it's completely unprofessional behaviour on their part.

Yes, YABU.

Woman up. You made a mistake and someone made their frustrationns known.

If they lost control whilst talking to you i.e shouting, swearing, personal insults then that says a lot more about them than about you.

I would say in most situations a bollocking is unwarranted. Hopefully, the person delivering the bollocking is feeling they over-reacted (from your OP, I'm assuming it wasn't intentional on your part or through laziness, etc). If not, they've behaved like a bit of a tosser, so not your fault. YANBU to be upset by the sound of it.

NBU at all. Talking to someone in a such a way is inexcusable. Take out a grievance against them.

There is little upside in bollockings. They annoy and demoralise employees and are an unprofessional way to behave. Clearly there are exceptions if one person, despite a clear understanding of their role, still leaves everything to someone else.

Normally a clear explanation of what needs to be done and a deadline suffices. Having your employees inside leads to better productivity and less chance of complaints/lawyers etc.

It is common sense really.

Depends what's happened tbh.

It is a thing that is part of my remit (a quality management type process) which does need done but isn't central to the operational running of the organisation. She wasn't offensive but made it clear she was angry.
It's been a fairly stressful week relating to things that are really essential to what we do, so to be pulled up about something which is important but not a priority did get to me a bit. I will woman up though.

Woman Up. Would be my advice.

I think someone letting you know they are angry is perfectly reasonable, particularly as you hadn't done what was required and whether you think it a priority or not, she was unhappy and she was right to let you know

it was ok for her to let you know she wasn't happy, but it would have been equally ok for you to stand your ground and explain why it hadn't been a priority.

I got spokem to really rudely by a coworker today, about something I said 4 months ago when trying to help them!
I cried for a while, even after picking up DS. Then I phoned my boss, who said "It won't happen again". I have taken tomorrow off sick, but am dreading Thursday. It's a culmination of dealing with several hostile incidents from members of staff. I have been working on HR admin stuff this year, and it has made me a target.
I think verbal abuse of coworkers is as bad as domestic verbal abuse. Woman up?! She didn't know about the issue - is she supposed to be a mind reader?
Professionals do not "make their frustrations known", they communicate like adults when they want something done.

She wasn't offensive but made it clear she was angry.

Then she has done nothing wrong.

Today I got a total bollocking over the phone from a senior member of another department about something I have responsibility for but hadn't done. (Didn't know it needed done)

Ignorance isn't an excuse in a professional workplace. Get it done ASAP, tell the person you've had it down and get a system in place to make sure it's regulary completed. Then ask if there is anything else that you should be doing but haven't been informed it needs doing.

It's okay to be upset - no-one likes being "told off" - but it does sound like the bollocking was fair. Sometimes you just have to take these things on the chin.

YANBU. If the thing needed to be done and you weren't aware of it, it's fair enough for her to let you know. Getting angry and giving someone 'a bollocking' is just plain unprofessional, though, and being upset over that is a natural reaction.

I think that she acted reasonably. There's nothing wrong with feeling a bit nettled though, OP. I would have too.

YANBU. If the thing needed to be done and you weren't aware of it, it's fair enough for her to let you know

It was her responsibility though.

Chalk it up to life experience. We learn more from our failures than successes.

Perhaps contact her, say you've reflected on what she said and does she have a slot to run through her expectations as you are really conscious of not wanting anything else to slip though the net. Or something similar.

God I hate getting told off at work. It hasn't happened many times over the years but it really does make you feel like shit. It's horrible, but it does happen I'm afraid! Just take on what was said and move on.

She wasn't offensive but made it clear she was angry.

then YABU, sorry.
It's never pleasant to get a bollocking, but that's life when you mess up, or someone think you did. It's not a big deal. You can always answer back, if you think it's not an acceptable way to be talked to, or you disagree, tell them. You are both grown-ups, you can talk back.

I think I'd question more why you didn't know it needed doing if it's part of your remit. Something fell down there and I think although the bollicking would sting, I'd be more concerned about closing that gap to make sure it didn't happen again.

She doesn't know what your normal standard of work is but this was evidently something important and she was irate. It is never pleasant to get a strip torn off especially by someone you don't directly work for, they obviously chose to go straight to you not complain to your manager. Is that how things work at this place? Sounds like she was angry but stayed civil.
How likely is it your paths will cross in future?