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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu?Husband says he doesn't fancy me now I'm 'a bit ginger'

68 replies

SleepMofo · 11/09/2017 17:52

I don't know if iabu to be as upset as I am.

Background: always been quite a bright natural blonde until the birth of ds when it started growing through a weird mucky colour.

I tried highlights to brighten it up a bit but developed spots and sores so didn't want to attempt to dye it fully blonde.

Last night I tried a henna due and am quite pleased with the colour though it'll need a little tweaking.

I've been taken aback by the reaction from my husband. Obviously he is free not to like it but some of the thing he has said have really upset me.

He has said he is not attracted to blonde hair and he can't believe I've done it. That he wouldn't approach a ginger woman in a bar (hair is brown with a touch of red) and that he isn't a fan.

He then got grumpy when I refused to discuss it with him further and when I said it was MY hair.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Fekko · 11/09/2017 17:54

He's an arse. Tell him from me 'you're an arse'.

StickThatInYourPipe · 11/09/2017 17:54

Hell get used to it. I cried when dp had his hair cut, love it now!

Shoxfordian · 11/09/2017 17:55

It's your hair on your head

He's an idiot

InspMorse · 11/09/2017 17:56

Wow. He's an idiot!
Tell him you can't until his hair falls off his head and starts spreading all over his back.
How old is he OP?

TheNaze73 · 11/09/2017 17:56

You are both right but, you more so than him.

Yes, it's your hair, yes he's allowed an opinion but, it's a bit of an overreaction from him

FlyingGiraffeBox · 11/09/2017 17:57

Tell him you don't fancy him now he's 'a bit of a twat'

user1493413286 · 11/09/2017 17:59

I think he's a twat for saying it but I have to admit I did find my OH less attractive when he grew a beard. I told him I didn't like the beard but not that I didn't find him attractive and he eventually decided to shave it off. It's your hair at the end of the day.

RubyGoat · 11/09/2017 17:59

Tell him you're no longer attracted to him now he's shown his true colours (idiot) & you can't believe he's done it...

Original poster
SleepMofo · 11/09/2017 17:59

Sorry I meant he said he is 'only' attracted to blondes.

OP posts:
sonjadog · 11/09/2017 17:59

Your husband's feelings for you are dependent on the colour of your hair. You have married the world's most shallow man.

RiseToday · 11/09/2017 17:59

I bet he's no bloody oil painting.

WorraLiberty · 11/09/2017 17:59

Did he actually say the words, "I don't fancy you now you're a bit ginger"?

Qvar · 11/09/2017 18:01

So was he going to leave you when your grey came through?

I think I'd put this on my Facebook status "Just a heads up - if my husband seems a little off with you, it might be because he's only attracted to blondes"

Tentomidnight · 11/09/2017 18:01

Haha, tell him fine, no sex for as long as it takes him to get over himself used to the change Grin

ChasedByBees · 11/09/2017 18:02

Does he know that to be blonde again you would face sores and physical reactions?

MaidOfStars · 11/09/2017 18:02

So all the other ways he's (presumably) attracted by are meaningless now you redder hair?

FFS. Agree with the others - tell him you find one-dimensional superficiality a turn off.

My husband has no input on how I have my hair. I know his length preference but it doesn't make any difference to me.

Circumlocutor · 11/09/2017 18:03

He sounds like a but of a twat if all it takes for him to stop fancying you is a change of hair colour. I mean he's allowed to not like it or whatever but saying that (if he were single) he wouldn't approach a woman with this hair colour seems really petulant.

InspMorse · 11/09/2017 18:03

I like 'flying's* reply! 😂

BenLui · 11/09/2017 18:03

I would personally reply that I'm not attracted to someone who is so shallow.

Nothing sexy about a man who only fancies you for your hair.

mothertruck3r · 11/09/2017 18:04

"Background: always been quite a bright natural blonde until the birth of ds when it started growing through a weird mucky colour."

"He has said he is not attracted to blonde hair and he can't believe I've done it."

So he married you as a blonde even though he is not attracted to blonde hair? Hmm

Neverknowing · 11/09/2017 18:07

Exactly what @FlyingGiraffeBox said. I wouldn't fancy him now he's a twat either.

Bluntness100 · 11/09/2017 18:08

If he doesn't like it, he doesn't like it. However he phrased it badly, so that makes him a bit of a knob. Better he's honest than lie and say it's nice, but the whole I only like blondes it's weirdly specific. And the bar thing? You're not some random woman you're his wife.

Tell him as he doesn't fancy you, sex is off the agenda. See how fast he decides to like it then.

Subtlecheese · 11/09/2017 18:22

That was shit of him. He could see you were pleased I take it and still chose the completely self absorbed route.
The chatting up comment is practically a threat. Tell him good luck finding his ideal blonde and get yourself out to a friend who will be pleased for you that you like your look Flowers

pictish · 11/09/2017 18:28

He is only attracted to blondes. Really? What a small-minded, boring man.

ethelfleda · 11/09/2017 18:30

Tell him you don't fancy him now he's 'a bit of a twat'

Haha - please do this!