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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the school cannot enforce this uniform rule?

301 replies

ReanimatedSGB · 10/09/2017 22:01

DS started back at school on Friday and has come home with an annoying student handbook full of various pissy instructions and threats of hour-long detentions.
One thing I noticed was that 'boys' hair must be no longer than collar length. DS has long hair. While I completely understand a regulation that long hair must be tied back for school, isn't it actually illegal for them to insist that boys can't have long hair? IE sex discrimination?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 10/09/2017 22:02

Sounds illegal and bloody stupid. Make sure he ties it up if that's the rule and ignore the bullshit.

Rainybo · 10/09/2017 22:03

I agree with you - it's not fair and equal. However I'm not a fan of stupid uniform rules and so I would be my usual annoying self and asking for a rationale from the school.

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 10/09/2017 22:05

I'd have him plat or pony tail it, same as the girls do and see what they say. But my boys went to high school with long hair boys they had to keep it tidy just like the girls did.
I can't stand this one rule for girls and another for boys.

Original poster
ReanimatedSGB · 10/09/2017 22:08

They haven't said anything to him yet: I just noticed it in the book. But I will make sure it's tied back and, if there are any comments from the school, well, they'll be getting schooled.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 10/09/2017 22:09

There was a school near me a few years ago that had a court case over this, but the court ruled in favour of the school. I don't think it is fair though.

Wolfiefan · 10/09/2017 22:11

They'll be getting schooled?!
WTF.
Maybe shelve the attitude and talk to the school to discuss a compromise. Hair tied back etc? What about religious reasons for not cutting hair? Why are girls different?
Seems a draconian rule but I would be reasonable in your contact with school or they will enforce and will refuse to listen to your "schooling" of them.

Friendofsadgirl · 10/09/2017 22:12

From the gov.uk website :
School uniform
Each school decides its uniform and must not discriminate based on gender, race, disability, sexual orientation or belief.

YorkieButtons · 10/09/2017 22:12

Good job this school isn't in Liverpool then! The teenage boys here mainly have ridiculous long hair which makes them look idiotic, thankfully my ds has a normal haircut.

I think long hair on boys can be really lovely but when whole groups of boys do it as a fashion statement ( straightened to death and greased down ) then it looks awful.

The hairstyle I mention is known as a "ketwig" Grin

NoLoveofMine · 10/09/2017 22:14

Each school decides its uniform and must not discriminate based on gender, race, disability, sexual orientation or belief.

Which suggests they can discriminate based on sex, unless those who wrote the guidance don't understand the difference between "gender" and "sex".

The rules at the OP's son's school are absolutely ridiculous. It's enforcing gender on boys, suggesting long hair is only for girls. I hope you can challenge it successfully, OP.

NoLoveofMine · 10/09/2017 22:15

I think long hair on boys can be really lovely but when whole groups of boys do it as a fashion statement ( straightened to death and greased down ) then it looks awful.

It's not for anyone else to judge how they look. Good for the teenage boys who are have long hair because they want to and don't subscribe to gender stereotypes.

Gileswithachainsaw · 10/09/2017 22:15

Yanbu

Be prepared for the "you knew the rules when you signed up " brigade who will tell you that your blatant disregard for school rules makes you an part of the problem witg shit behaviour Wink

treaclesoda · 10/09/2017 22:15

It's no different to girls not being allowed to wear trousers I suppose?

NoLoveofMine · 10/09/2017 22:15

who have long hair

Friendofsadgirl · 10/09/2017 22:16

NoLoveofMine, I thought that too about the wording. Hmm

NoLoveofMine · 10/09/2017 22:20

I have a feeling they do mean "gender" as in "gender identity", Friendofsadgirl, which is probably why some schools can still insist on skirts for girls as treaclesoda mentions.

TheAlchemist101 · 10/09/2017 22:21

My DS is at an all boys school that recently had its first female head. She encouraged the setting up of a feminist society and also told DS to get his hair cut! - needless to say he sees this as BS now...

pointythings · 10/09/2017 22:22

If girls are allowed long hair, so should boys be. So you need to challenge this.

What a bloody waste of teaching time enforcing all that shit. So glad DD1 is now in 6th form where there is no uniform. It's saving me a fortune.

Original poster
ReanimatedSGB · 10/09/2017 22:40

It's also definitely not what I signed up for. One of the reasons I chose the school for DS was that, when I went to have a preliminary look round two years ago, I noticed various crooked ties/untucked shirts etc, but happy kids engaged with their lessons. Then the existing Head got the push and they now have a new one, The school has also 'rebranded', changed its name and got a complete new uniform.
I wanted to be sure DS was going to a school that wasn't run along these fuckwitted, militarized lines: I think too many rules (particularly an obsession with uniform rules) makes for a toxic atmosphere and wastes the kids' and the teachers' time.

OP posts:
underneaththeash · 10/09/2017 22:41

He could always go to a different school, but your school has that uniform policy.
I'm with the school, long hair looks messy and and daft on boys and is dangerous if they're playing contact sports - just get it cut.

Wolfiefan · 10/09/2017 22:43

Get it cut? Because he is a boy?
Um no.
Talk to the school. A boy can manage to have tidy hair which happens to be long and in no way impedes his learning!
I've known male teachers with long hair. Didn't make them better or worse teachers. Daft!

CredulousThickos · 10/09/2017 22:45

DS goes to a boys' school and they have a rule like this. It's always struck me as bloody madness but hasn't affected DS so I've never challenged it.

On the other hand, DD's girls' school has a ridiculous uniform where every part (blazer, shirt, jumper, skirt) has to be bought from their suppliers. As well as the PE kit (t shirt, shorts, rugby top, leotard, skort, long socks). That annoys me more. the full kit comes to around £400. This is a state school.

CredulousThickos · 10/09/2017 22:46

Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent. But bloody ridiculous uniform rules are annoying, whether it's hair, shoes or clothes.

Starlight2345 · 10/09/2017 22:49

I'm with the school, long hair looks messy and and daft on boys and is dangerous if they're playing contact sports - just get it cut.

What nonsense....Should girls with long hair not do sports either.

Jakethekid · 10/09/2017 22:50

When I was in secondary school there was a rule that boys hair wasn't allowed to be shorter than a number 1 (I might be wrong with numbers but no skin heads bassically) and no longer than collar. They actually took 3 pupils to a hairdressers in school time and had it cut (paid by the school). Not sure how they got away with that unless they put pressure on the parents to agree? My school was a very strict Catholic school. No dyed hair (even natural colours) only black or brown bobbles and no other hair accesories

Jakethekid · 10/09/2017 22:51

Just to add, I only left high school 13 years ago so it's not that long since