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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that the school cannot enforce this uniform rule?

301 replies

ReanimatedSGB · 10/09/2017 22:01

DS started back at school on Friday and has come home with an annoying student handbook full of various pissy instructions and threats of hour-long detentions.
One thing I noticed was that 'boys' hair must be no longer than collar length. DS has long hair. While I completely understand a regulation that long hair must be tied back for school, isn't it actually illegal for them to insist that boys can't have long hair? IE sex discrimination?

OP posts:
Ceto · 11/09/2017 10:18

Solar, if you want to know what a prize twat looks like you don't need to look at this thread, there must be a mirror nearby.

Do tell us, how do you imagine other countries manage to have millions of functioning adults obeying sensible rules despite not having idiotic school uniform rules?

DeadButDelicious · 11/09/2017 10:18

Tied back or not. It's not acceptable in many professions/jobs. Tell me if a consultant was sitting informs of you had long hair either in a man bun or down tattoo on his next and his fingers would you trust him to make you better in a grave situation.

What utter piffle! If you are in that situation and the length of someone's hair is an issue rather than the years of education and hard work it takes to become a consultant in the first place, then I genuinely feel sorry for you. How sad it must be to be so invested in aesthetic.

orlantina · 11/09/2017 10:19

FWIW, there is nothing illegal or discriminatory about what you've been told. Suck it up princess

You're a charmer.

If boys and girls are to be treated equally, then boys should be able to present as the girls are allowed to.

And vice versa.

Unless you think boys and girls should be treated differently?

hairymaryquitecontrary · 11/09/2017 10:21

Dangerous when playing sports? Don't know what sports you are playing but the women who won the All Ireland Final Camogie yesterday all seemed to manage a full on contact sport with their long hair

Gileswithachainsaw · 11/09/2017 10:27

ceto

It's ok I mean theoretically it does us a favour doesn't it?

Imagine all the extra free Drs appointments there will he when people refuse to see certain drs.

Frees up an ambulance too when the paramedics are shown the door...

Hey if they wanna sit in a&e for an extra few hours waiting for someone "suitable" I'll take the one they rejected...

I mean people with these opinions, they have the courage to at least own them don't they?....Hmm

LakieLady · 11/09/2017 10:28

I sometimes think that this sort of control freakery from schools is just part of them wanting to turn out a generation of clones.

I've heard of schools banning "skinhead" haircuts, "Peaky Blinders" cuts, long hair, dyed hair, and all sorts.

Wtf is wrong with kids expressing their individuality, ffs? What does it say about valuing people as individuals and being tolerant and open-minded? Those are the sort of values schools should be promoting imo.

LurkingHusband · 11/09/2017 10:31

Then the existing Head got the push and they now have a new one, The school has also 'rebranded', changed its name and got a complete new uniform.

Always the danger. In the 4 years between my DB1 and DB2 going to the same school (as did I) it went from top of the boroughs league table to bottom. This was when the "traditional" headmistress retired, and a "new broom" came in. Turned out it was soooooooo 1950s to worry about exams. Who'd have thunk it ?

orlantina · 11/09/2017 10:31

Those are the sort of values schools should be promoting imo

This.

How much time and effort is wasted over rules like this?

Most schools in Europe don't care too much about uniform. Yet they turn out students that are ok.

Gileswithachainsaw · 11/09/2017 10:39

Yy tina

Leave the kids alone and get on with teaching.

Deal with inappropriate behaviour, rudeness and vandelism. I assume all these schools so hung up on hair lengths and shoes and all the other crap have immaculately behaved children, results that would shame Eton and not so much as a cracked window in sight?

Or there just wouldn't be time for it...

Showandtell · 11/09/2017 10:42

Longish hair on girls nearly always looks neater than the long hair I see on boys - they often brush it for a start and its usually cut properly. Boys long hair always looks a mess IMO

But I agree it seems unfair to insist boys have it shorter and not girls.

VestalVirgin · 11/09/2017 10:56

It's no different to girls not being allowed to wear trousers I suppose?

No different at all, and it still puzzles me how the fuck schools in the UK get away with that kind of blatant sexism.
But apparently, they do.
Sue them to hell and back, I say. Don't let them do this to your children.

Imagine all the extra free Drs appointments there will he when people refuse to see certain drs.

You are right. I am totally okay with people who think men with long hair look incompetent. (As long as they don't run schools, that is).

More appointments for us, plumbers always arrive on time, and while every handsome guy with long hair I know already has a girlfriend, I have not yet given up hope that I will some day snatch a man away right from under the nose of a woman who was trying to get him to cut his hair to suit her taste. Grin

Gileswithachainsaw · 11/09/2017 10:59
Grin

I love hair on men too...

Brittbugs80 · 11/09/2017 11:07

We've gone from waist length long hair to shoulder length and have the same problems at school. They sent a letter out saying long hair on boys must be tied back. After a grumble from me, they amended the letter to long hair must be tied back.

Girls were allowed to wear long hair down apart from clips holding the front part back but when I let DS go in with his part up (man bun type style) he had to tie the whole lot back.

Needless to say the parents of girls with long hair were vile to me after, many of which felt the need to say why does DS need long hair, he has ruined long her for the girls, is he gay or something Hmm

I find it fair that a long hair is tied back, not just boys long hair tied back. Anything below collar length has to be tied back.

Brittbugs80 · 11/09/2017 11:12

boys here mainly have ridiculous long hair which makes them look idiotic, thankfully my ds has a normal haircut

My DS has shoulder length hair. It's a normal haircut. Why wouldn't it be normal? You sound like you think there are boys toys and girls toys and boys colours and girls colours too.....

AccrualIntentions · 11/09/2017 11:16

I was going to agree until you said "they'll be getting schooled". [eye roll]

SleepingStandingUp · 11/09/2017 11:18

Tell me if a consultant was sitting informs of you had long hair either in a man bun or down tattoo on his next and his fingers would you trust him to make you better in a grave situation
Tbh if I have a long haired consultant I might be a bit swoony. Love DH's long hair. And Thors.
Hand and neck tattoos are a turn off for me but then I want the consultant to cure me not have sex with me.
You think I bit of ink invalidates his qualifications? That imlong hair pulls down on his brain so he can't work properly? If you FEMALE consultant has long hair does it affect her similarly? What if the tattoo is on his upper arms? Is it only man hair and neck/hand tattoos that affect brain function?

carefreeeee · 11/09/2017 11:19

The higher up you are in work, the more likely you are to be able to choose your own appearance. Who is going to tell a respected consultant or successful banker or head teacher how to do their hair?

In reality it's mainly customer facing jobs that have uniforms and that's mainly so that customers know who the staff are and to promote the branding/image of the company. It's nothing to do with promoting belonging or avoiding bullying. Other cases it could be for health and safety reasons such as firemen. Even in these jobs people can choose their own hairstyles. The only exception I can think of is the army which is a very different situation. Some high end receptionist or cabin crew type jobs may specify the minutiae of appearance but again this is for the benefit of the company not for the individual.

To me it seems as if the current trend for strict uniform policy is more to do with promoting the brand and image of the school than helping students in any way. Telling children they all have to look the same is not going to do them any favours now or in the future.

Brittbugs80 · 11/09/2017 11:23

I'm with the school, long hair looks messy and and daft on boys and is dangerous if they're playing contact sports - just get it cut

Some of the girls at DS school have scruffy hair, scruffier than DS's hair, maybe they should cut it all off too?!

And girls play contact sport so by your reasoning, they should have their hair cut off too.

Your opinion of it looking daft and scruffy is just that though, your opinion and it carries no weight with other parents and their DS hair choices. The worst part is, that attitude and opinion with filter through to your children. DS was attacked and beaten up by two children on his class who said he was a raving homo for having long hair. They were told they were wrong but nope, they were right, because their parents told them that DS was a raving homo. Their parents even said to me that if I got DS hair cut then their children would leave him alone!!!

You not liking it doesn't make it wrong. DS wants long hair, he has the choice and this is what he chooses. Why should I rein it in because people like you think it's daft and because people like the two parents from school think only raving homos have long hair and that you and these parents think long hair is for girls?

hairymaryquitecontrary · 11/09/2017 11:27

Tell me if a consultant was sitting informs of you had long hair either in a man bun or down tattoo on his next and his fingers would you trust him to make you better in a grave situation

I'd presume he was qualified and experienced or else he wouldn't be there. What the fuck has his appearance got to do with his medical qualifications?

endehors · 11/09/2017 11:37

The rules are set out and you should follow them sorry but yabu. School is preperation for the world of work and looking neat and tidy is part of that.

Preparation for the world of work? Nonsense. Boys and girls can look neat and tidy with long hair. It discrimination to say boys need to keep hair short.

endehors · 11/09/2017 11:37

Quite, HairyMary! What is wrong with some people?

LurkingHusband · 11/09/2017 11:40

From my recent escapades in the health service, I thought tattoos were compulsory Grin.

I don't think I've had any issues professionally, since I started wearing a ponytail (again Smile). Although at my age it can seem rather insensitive to some colleagues ....

yodelehoho · 11/09/2017 11:43

I despair at parents behaving like this. There are rules. Life is full of rules. If your children can't follow rules while they are at school - and more importantly you behave as if rules at school can be broken then I am sorry for your children when they go out in to the big bad world.

Bratish children and parents everywhere.

SleepingStandingUp · 11/09/2017 11:45

yodelehoho so you don't care if the rules are unfair? If one came in tomorrow saying all his had to have a grade 1, all boys had to wear skirts, girls and boys were not allowed to talk to each other, all teachers must be curtsied or bowed to - you'd tell your child to comply?

endehors · 11/09/2017 11:46

I despair at parents behaving like this. There are rules. Life is full of rules. If your children can't follow rules while they are at school - and more importantly you behave as if rules at school can be broken then I am sorry for your children when they go out in to the big bad world.

I despair at people blindly following rules so far as not to challenge discrimination and sexism.

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