To think this 'heartbroken man' is an absolute creep?

[pictish]

This guy is playing piano in public to show his ex how much he 'loves' her.

www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/heartbroken-man-starts-playing-piano-450378

The only good thing about this is seeing that the vast majority of commenters across the internet are calling him a creepy stalker and pointing out that 'grand romantic gestures' usually are dodgily controlling, not 'romantic'.

Hopefully Hollywood and authors will catch on this century...

Xpost with LightLinks, the repost on the FB page of other FB pages looks like it's from real people.
Okay, I give up! This particular guy is a Git. The Vipers win... are you happy that your cynical worldview is vindicated.

IRL I am more hardass than most of you (that's why the Guilt Angle baffles me). Yet glad I still need evidence before I condemn.

If i were that woman, I'd be on my knees thanking my lucky fucking stars that i managed to dodge that huge bullect.

Get up, go home and watch some porn, you weirdo.

James Bond is another creep, and that's being kind!

There is nothing romantic about refusing to accept your partner's decision to end the relationship. It's controlling behaviour, and this isn't a grand romantic gesture - this man is making an exhibition of himself for solely self-interested motives.

A grand romantic gesture in many relationships would be more like the man making a meal, cleaning the toilet or remembering when the DCs are next due to see the dentist - without being asked!

Yes i do

Grand gestures don't undo everything that's been said and done.

It usually proves the immaturity of either or both of them too tbh

Most the time of they'd been honest about things instead if hiding or pretending or put as much effort into just dealing with shit as opposed to going to extreme lengths to avoid it becoming an issue they'd have been much better off.

To immature to confess they are a virgin or slept with someone or failed school etc yet propose marriage?

Seriously?

Could you guys think of a reasonable grand romantic gesture to try to win back a girl, Or are such gestures all inevitably creepy guilt moves?

Demonstrating that the behaviour you exhibited that caused the break up of your relationship has changed and accepting that the other person still has a right to say 'sorry, I've moved on'.

How do you feel about the phrase "She fought for her marriage." Is that describing a creep, too

Depends what the behaviour is, rather than the phrase itself. Never quite sure what it is mend to describe really? Apart from actual fisticuffs, how do you fight for a marriage?

Supposing it entails Standing on the lawn of your estranged spouses new house wailing 'take me back' at three in the morning or bombarding them with text messages every 5 minutes then I would find them both creepy.

How do you feel about the phrase "She fought for her marriage." Is that describing a creep, too

That isn't the same for me. "Fighting for" a relationship to me suggests you're talking, trying to overcome whatever your problems are by mutual agreement.

I don't like the idea of one party trying to change anothers on the ending of a relationship by over the top gestures. What is the piano playing supposed to tell her?

Is she supposed to be blown away by his persistence, or forget whatever bit of the relationship went wrong? Why is he so insistent she got it wrong - he would be far better giving her the courage of her own convictions rather than trying to become the next Buzzfeed sensation

I saw this and thought the same thing, very stalker behaviour and it certainly wouldn't make me think its romantic. I'd want to vomit all over him!

Gestures like this work in romantic comedies because they are simplified storylines, divorced from the realities of life. The characters and their relationship end with the end of the film. So the big gesture can be loved by the audience, because they don´t see it as a pattern of manipulative behaviour, or a lack of consideration for the other person, etc. People like this piano-guy haven´t realized that the world of films is not the same as the real world. We do not live in romantic comedies.

We do not live in romantic comedies.

And when you refuse to suspend your disbelief and think even a little bit about what is actually being portrayed in your average romantic comedy, you realise that they are neither romantic nor comedic.

I'm sure I've seen lots of movies where the girl gets mad at boy, dumps boy, & boy does some grand romantic gesture to try to win her back. Does MN jury find those protagonists all creeps?

I do, because frequently the girl dumps for a sound reason.

Could you guys think of a reasonable grand romantic gesture to try to win back a girl, Or are such gestures all inevitably creepy guilt moves?

Again, I do think the gestures are all wrong. Because 99.9% of the time, it's about a person who is involving an audience to add pressure for someone to take them back. The very nature of a grand gesture is about playing it out in front of an audience.

How do you feel about the phrase "She fought for her marriage." Is that describing a creep, too?

A marriage or partnership that involves good communication isn't going to need to be "fought for". In fact, I have wondered before whether "fighting for" a marriage is something akin to the "pick me dance". And that "fighting for" is the same as "in competition with". This "fighting for" stuff is usually written about a woman who's DH is checking out of the marriage for whatever reason (OW perhaps being the most common) and I don't think it's actually helpful talk, becaue it implies the fighting stuff is the woman's job. A marriage going through a bad patch may possibly be saved by honest communication from both sides, not by grand gestures. I split from someone recently. I can see, looking back, that we didn't have good communication because I felt intimidated when we tried discussing intimate things. Whatever my opinion, he'd talk it round so it was either dismissed or I felt I was wrong, again. Something learned for the future.

Re "romantic" gestures in films (and James Bond) this is a good read www.cracked.com/blog/how-men-are-trained-to-think-sexual-assault-no-big-deal/

Creepy entitled wanker. With a horrible jacket. My sympathies definitely lie with Rapunzel, whoever she may be.

While I'm pleased that the vast majority of comments on the paper and fb are pointing out how awful and unacceptable his behaviour is, the paper shouldn't be validating this bullshit in the first place.

I think that the "fight for your marriage" fantasy portrayed in films is even more damaging than the idea of making a grand gesture. Again, in a film, you only see the "fight" until the couple has made up at the end of the film. You don´t see that one partner is less engaged in the relationship long term, the other person has lost self-esteem, the relationship is founded on inequality etc. People see the films and think fighting for their relationship is what they have to do and that they will get the "happy ever after" of the final scene, when actually, walking away from the relationship would be a much better idea.

Does MN jury find those protagonists all creep.

Mostly, and deeply unrealistic but then they are movies and not meant to be realistic. You break up for a reason. A grand gesture doesnt change that. So either the grand gesture is to make people feel they cant say no. Or the problem will still be there the next morning and the rest of their lives.

Okay, I give up! This particular guy is a Git. The Vipers win... are you happy that your cynical worldview is vindicated.

Its nots about being right or cynical. Abouts identifying worrying behaviour. People who cant spot it, are vulnerable to it.

Telling someone 'i am going to sit until i hurt myself or you come back to me' is controlling. The fact that some people and the media think its romantic is why its dangerous.

Abusers dont start abusing on the first date. Its a slow process that includes making people feel lucky their partner cares so much. But often its not caring. Its control. When the 2 are confused its very worrying.

I'm wondering how you lot feel about movies where James Bond goes to extreme lengths to risk his life to save the sexy girl

Sexist and misogynistic claptrap- especially the Sean Connory ones.

I can thinkbof a gesture that was/is romantic.

I had a water infection and my period. I was very unhappy and didnt know what to do with myself. Dh asked me what i would do in an ideal world. I said lay in bed all dat and read and nap.

An hour later he called me upstairs he had changed the bed, made me a cup of tea and told me to get in. Then took the kids out for the afternoon.

No audience needed. No massive fuss. But it made me feel very loved.

Oh come on ! 'Rapunzel' does noit exist!
He is after media attention to generate some bookings!

jjbutt we can but hope.

But you think he could have come up with a better story if it was fake.

Says a lot abouy him that he didnt consider, that alot of people would consider his behaviour abusive.

Gorgosparta What you have there is a decent man, who showed you he is kind and considerate. I wouldn't be putting this in the same category as the grand gesture.

Has 'Rapunzel' put in an appearance yet, or is she, rather sensibly, in hiding?

She should be easy to track down, what with the hair...

GorgospartaWhat you have there is a decent man, who showed you he is kind and considerate. I wouldn't be putting this in the same category as the grand gesture.

I feel it was a grand gesture. But i get what you are saying.

He knows i would be mortified if he did something public. Public grand gestures are usually for other people. Or now for social media. So everyone else can be impressed.