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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Unreasonable

104 replies

Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 01:42

So I have titled this category "unreasonable". because I truly find a significant cohort of this site 'unreasonable' I quantify this from a few genuine posts resulting in what only could be described as bullying, and the 'admins' did little to discourage the bullyiing, in fact they seemed to encourage it. If the topic was not to the taste of the
group, then they circled like Vultures and threatened, and put down until the post was removed. Even when very legitimate
Concerns of bullying were highlighted they were ignored. I therefore ask, am I unreasonable to think that free speech and genuine progression in ideas and discussions is fruitless in a site like mumsnet?

OP posts:
OytheBumbler · 10/09/2017 01:44

Erm...

Yabu if you expect reasonable discussion from AIBU.

TheClaws · 10/09/2017 01:47

In AIBU, possibly. There are other, gentler, areas of Mumsnet though. Have you explored those?

Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 01:47

That's what I'm trying to work out! Is it unreasonable to try to be reasonable? Will you just be bullied?

OP posts:
GrockleBocs · 10/09/2017 01:47

Feel free to start your own site Hmm

Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 01:55

I liked the supposed ethos of AIBU as to ascertain others thoughts, however if I don't conform to the organ grinders my discussion is shut down?! Have I been unlucky?!

OP posts:
TheClaws · 10/09/2017 01:56

I wouldn't post anything in AIBU expecting reasonable responses. I would go to the appropriate category for my question - parenting, education, health, etc. - just not AIBU, unless I wanted a fight.

Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:00

Grockle 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:04

The claws honestly? Right I'm getting it, I think? A site that 'supports' and 'helps' parents BUT the parents must know where to go. Is that right? Because if they post in the wrong place they will be bullied and that will be encouraged and accepted?

OP posts:
TheClaws · 10/09/2017 02:06

That said, you do also be careful not to take things personally. For example, Grockle's post bothered you when really it shouldn't.

TheClaws · 10/09/2017 02:12

AIBU is for site traffic. You'll see that the posts there have the most responses. It supports Mumsnet, basically. It doesn't mean you have to post there or that everyone posts there. You'll find the support you need on other boards in Mumsnet (reasonable, too).

Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:13

The claws it really didn't 🙄 That's the point I'm not taking anything personally

OP posts:
Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:20

But I did find myself here unwittingl? Just looking for answers. So, I deserved to be bullied for posting in the wrong place? You see I have two young daughters? I'm very disturbed at the bullying I'm finding In what should be safe places along with the supposed anti bullying campaign in the media at the moment?

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 10/09/2017 02:21

Where exactly did you find yourself bullied?

Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:28

In AIBU, where would it matter?

OP posts:
sykadelic · 10/09/2017 02:30

@Pankhurst - it's a bit hard to say you were "bullied" without actually knowing what post you're talking about.

I doubt you were bullied, and I also doubt the Admin just let it go on. There are rules (I'm sure you read them when you joined the site) and AIBU is notoriously less controlled because it serves a specific purposes. Quick responses to give people a "wake up call".

Typically you have 2 kinds of posters in AIBU:

  1. Those who know they're being unreasonable/reasonable but want to laugh about it.
  2. Those who don't think they're being unreasonable and refuse to listen when told they are

It sounds like you're #2.

That said, you're not supposed to make life choices based on the opinions of random people on a forum. You should be aware of keyboard warriors and if you're feeling delicate, post in the appropriate fora, not AIBU.

ilovesooty · 10/09/2017 02:31

I meant in which thread?

PerspicaciaTick · 10/09/2017 02:31

AIBU is only one small part of Mumsnet. www.mumsnet.com/Talk Here is a list of all the other topics for you to explore. I hope you find the support you are looking for.
By the way, are you aware that starting a thread about a thread (TAAT) is frowned on on MN? It isn't entirely clear from you OP, but it sounds like this might be about another thread you have had problems on. If you believe you have been bullied then the best thing is to go back to the original thread and report the individual posts that have upset you. MNHQ will take a look and take appropriate action.

Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:39

Yikes, sky, I didn't ask you to know how or when I felt bullied but thanks for your thoughts on which type of poster I am and that I am a "delicate" one. Pers thanks for the info- I am talking about previous experience

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 10/09/2017 02:41

Your entire posting history under this name has been in AIBU and I can't see anywhere where you've been bullied.

Heebejeebees · 10/09/2017 02:44

I hear you! Sometimes people post, and one thing is picked up on unrelated to the actual ask, and people go guns all out on it. It is bullying. I don't like it.

BeatriceBeaudelaire · 10/09/2017 02:48

Well people have opinions , on an anonymous board those opinions are more honest than in RL, yes they may seem harsh but if you're looking for an am I/ aren't I then surely you shall receive an answer ?

Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:51

Ilove that is your opinion and your one sided take on my genuine concerns, I feel your unwillingness to see both sides just reinforces the point I was making

OP posts:
Original poster
Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 02:54

Hee all out bullying- awful, glad others will speak out- what's everyone so afraid of? Don't get it 🤔

OP posts:
jaboker · 10/09/2017 02:55

Wtf you on about. Go to sleep.

ilovesooty · 10/09/2017 02:59

I'm not failing to see both sides. I'm puzzled because there appears to be nothing that could be construed as really contentious in the replies to your threads, nowhere where you evidence distress at replies and no threads deleted or any interventions by MNHQ.