Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Unreasonable

104 replies

Pankhurst09 · 10/09/2017 01:42

So I have titled this category "unreasonable". because I truly find a significant cohort of this site 'unreasonable' I quantify this from a few genuine posts resulting in what only could be described as bullying, and the 'admins' did little to discourage the bullyiing, in fact they seemed to encourage it. If the topic was not to the taste of the
group, then they circled like Vultures and threatened, and put down until the post was removed. Even when very legitimate
Concerns of bullying were highlighted they were ignored. I therefore ask, am I unreasonable to think that free speech and genuine progression in ideas and discussions is fruitless in a site like mumsnet?

OP posts:
HeebieJeebies456 · 13/09/2017 03:37

it isn't limited to AIBU.....i've seen it happen in a lot of boards.

Some posters don't like what you say, or the truth hurts, so they'll start accusing you of being a troll/goady etc, and then get other 'friends' of theirs to pile in as well.
Some of them will even go and read your previous threads/comments and then say "oh, you always do this on other threads' and they'll give their twisted examples........so when you try to explain your point, or even correct their bullshit - it's YOU that gets deleted/banned from posting...for 'breaking Talk guidelines/trolling/being goady'.......even though an amoeba could tell you who the actual culprits are!

I definitely think MN admin has it's 'favourites' and personal prejudices.
It most definitely is not 'one rule for all'.

Were you here when there were ding-dongs going on with a poster who was the aunt of a One Hit Wonder?
That was HILARIOUS....there was a group of posters who behaved like mean girls at school - star struck mean girls.
Anything X said was agreed with and they all fawned over the poster like bitches in heat Grin

Seriously - if anyone dared to disagree with her, criticized anything she said or questioned her 'expert opinion', they were pounced on by the Desperate Mean Girls.
Cue mass 'reporting' of the 'dissenters' and getting people banned.

Not ONCE did i come across MN admins pulling up posters like them.

Makes you wonder what kind of lives these people lead to be that desperate to be that intolerant.

The other thing i've noticed is how quick some posters are to dictate how you should present your view/opinions.
Like there's only one way right? Hmm
You can't ever be blunt, frank or judge for yourself whether a situation needs a soft response or some straight up reality.

Oh, and if you have ASD you must declare it whenever you post an opposing viewpoint or enter into a debate -otherwise you're 'drip-feeding' and 'making excuses' when you try to explain why you're conversation style is different to theirs.....but don't forget you're still in the wrong cause your ASD means you can't possibly understand what they're going on about.....

Doesn't put me off though - i've dealt with tougher things than keyboard warriors Grin

Iamsoconfused17 · 13/09/2017 03:45

Tbf though Heebies, you yourself have posted some pretty unpleasant PA on OPs, the one about the bf rent thread for one.

HeebieJeebies456 · 13/09/2017 05:37

that's a matter of perspective iam.

People have the option to ignore posts they disagree with.....instead they choose to behave like bullies.
Public forums are all about getting different perspectives and attitudes, and like i said - sometimes the truth hurts.
I would tolerate it if it was the OP themselves responding to me, but it isn't. It's the Holier Than Thou brigade.....

HeebieJeebies456 · 13/09/2017 05:40

I don't think double standards and hypocrisy are acceptable, and there was a hell of a lot of it in that thread.....

Gorgosparta · 13/09/2017 05:52

heebie you are contracting yourself.

In my opinion, your posts are not robust or blunt. They are rude. And no i didnt search you, i saw your comments on another thread. While i agree with the point, i dint agree with how you make it.

However you complain about people acting like bullies, because they comment on you being harsh. Have you thought about how the Op feels when your posts come across as rude and involve name calling?

DressedCrab · 13/09/2017 06:52

I spoke in your defence on your thread, OP.

However, although you were given a hard time, I wouldn't say it was bullying. A lot of people disagreeing with you doesn't constitute bullying. I thought a lot of the responses were unsympathetic and unreasonable but not bullying.

HeebieJeebies456 · 13/09/2017 07:09

Gorgo - where am i being contradicting myself?

You think i'm being rude - that's your opinion, your perspective.
It is not a fact and neither does not make what i'm saying wrong.

I don't buy into neurotypical self-righteousness nor am i willing to be a sheep who does as Simon Says.

If i disagree with something i present my view......i don't go round telling people they 'can't' say xyz, i don't pile in on them for not seeing things my way, i don't go reading up on their other threads and then bring that into the current thread......

Gorgosparta · 13/09/2017 07:14

I am not NT. So dont know what thats got to do with anything.

Calling people names is not ok. No one cares about simon says. Calling people names doesnt make you better because you arent a 'sheep'.

You are contradicting yourself because you talk about bullying on the site and then display that behaviour, yourself.

Sparklingbrook · 13/09/2017 07:16

I agree with TheClaws, why people insist on posting everything in AIBU I will never know.

It doesn't seem as if you like this site very much OP.

Sparklingbrook · 13/09/2017 07:23

As a mother of girls I will never tolerate bullying

What have girls got to do with anything? What about boys?

TheDowagerCuntess · 13/09/2017 07:24

FFS. It's just Mumsnet.

If you're getting worked up over a discussion forum, maybe it's time to put the phone down, step outside and reacquaint yourself with daylight.

Meant kindly, but it's honestly not worth getting this agitated about.

Wine
Sparklingbrook · 13/09/2017 07:25

I agree Dowager it doesn't warrant this level of analysis.

PurpleDaisies · 13/09/2017 07:25

If you're getting worked up over a discussion forum, maybe it's time to put the phone down, step outside and reacquaint yourself with daylight.

This is absolutely spot on.

GammaDelta · 13/09/2017 07:36

Bullying of any kind is not fair. You don't have to move to some other thread or section or even website.

Yanbu

HeebieJeebies456 · 13/09/2017 07:46

GORGO

There's a difference between giving your opinion to the OP and leaving it at that....and getting so emotionally invested that you feel the need to 'pick on' OTHER posters who you don't agree with Grin

SunshineLollipopsRainbows25 · 13/09/2017 07:59

it's not bullying unless people are going out of their way to find you and the insults being an ongoing/constant thing. you can't be bullied on mumsnet because people can't go out of their way to find you, if you don't like something then either delete it or ignore it, if you respond then you are openly going into a conversation with the person you don't agree with. if you are going to make posts on MN then you need to be ready for the different opinions of others, if you're not willing to accept other people's opinions then don't post. if people on here insult you and you don't like it then just report it, someone's post should have no impact on your life as you don't know these people, they are not a part of your everyday life, this is just the Internet. don't make it a problem.

DancesWithOtters · 13/09/2017 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrockleBocs · 13/09/2017 08:51

Dances no that's not me. This is a relatively recent NC.

Gorgosparta · 13/09/2017 13:32

There's a difference between giving your opinion to the OP and leaving it at that....and getting so emotionally invested that you feel the need to 'pick on' OTHER posters who you don't agree with

Theres also a difference between respectfully disagreeing and and being rude and name calling.

Name calling is bullying, its 'picking' on posters. If you choose to pick on posters and call them names. You will get picked up on it. Because its rude and bullying.

To then complain that you feel bullied because others wont let it slide, is hypocritical.

Anecdoche · 14/09/2017 08:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 14/09/2017 08:37

In what should be safe places

It isn't a 'safe place' it's an open anonymous internet form!

LakieLady · 14/09/2017 08:37

So I have titled this category "unreasonable". because I truly find a significant cohort of this site 'unreasonable'

This post reminds me of people who watch stuff on tv and then moan that it's rubbish/shocking/whatever.

No-one's forced to come on here, ffs.

HeebieJeebies456 · 14/09/2017 12:00

If you choose to pick on posters and call them names. You will get picked up on it. Because its rude and bullying

Gorgo
You need to take a serious look in the mirror at yourself if you think you're not a bully or behaving like a bully.

I was conversing with the OP directly, gave my opinion using my own words. She didn't like it, we spoke about it - and it was left at that.
YOU - decided to take it upon yourself to get involved in something that had bugger all to do with you.
YOU decided to 'pick on' ME, all because of what YOU perceive my actions to be.
You follow me around and refer to a specific other thread to justify your current ugly behaviour.
You have intentionally decided to 'pick on' me! Grin

Very different from me just posting my viewpoint without any intention of upsetting anyone.

So, BULLY......go get a life or get laid - whichever it is you so desperately need.

existentialmoment · 14/09/2017 12:05

You do not understand what bullying is. Someone being a bit rude to you online is not bullying. Get a dictionary and do soemthing else if you don't like it here.

Iamsoconfused17 · 14/09/2017 14:07

HeebieJeebies

You follow me around and refer to a specific other thread to justify your current ugly behaviour

Oh, the irony!

go get a life or get laid - whichever it is you so desperately need.

These are just 2 examples of the rude and childish posting style you have here. Do you speak like this IRL?