Or is this birth plan okay?

[1997r2017]

Basically, i dont want an extra long birth plan as i feel it will be ignored, also i know that forceps/venthouse could be needed but i feel like they are more likely to avoid then if i just say no.
Is there anything ive forgotten?
Please excuse my writing xxxx

I had a go with the flow approach the first time and just mentioned that I didn't want pethidine. I ended up with pethadine at a moment when I'd happily have sold my soul as the contractions had suddenly exploded after my waters were broken. I was then locked into an alternative world of pain. DH consented to the next round of it. Go with the flow also resulted with me being beached up on my back very uncomfortably and feeling powerless to do much about it.

Second time in response to various issues arising from the first birth, the birth plan was much more assertive. I was clear that I wanted support to be in an active position (which was achieved despite monitoring). My most clear point was that I refused pethadine under all circumstances and preferred the pain without it. It was very much a starting point of how I wanted to approach labour and did consider some ways that it could unfold from the ideal to alternative methods of delivery.

My MW took it seriously and did what she could to make the labour a positive experience, and despite a considerable amount baggage and a less than desirable delivery it was a positive labour and immediate postnatal experience.

It is worth being clear about your preferences and concerns as if the medical team aren't aware of them, they can't act on them anyway.

There's no point really having a birth plan to be honest. They will do what needs to be done for your own and baby's health and safety regardless of what you have written down.

You can be too late for a c section. I was. She was too far down the birth canal and to manouver her back up for a section was far more dangerous than the forceps and episiotomy that I had

I had a birth plans both times. And I do think they helped both times. The midwife second time went though it when she came to see me after my waters had broken, she was lovely.

Things I changed from the first: *husband to go with baby if baby is taken away for any reason

There was a lot more of what I didn't want listed as well!

If you feel strongly about baby not having formula, either put that in or make sure your partner knows it too.

Discuss your plan with partner so they know what you've chosen and why. Turns out I don't like talking in labor so go along with things to shut people up.

If you'd rather be more informed about what's going on say so too. In my first labor baby was back to back but no-one bothered to say, if they'd mentioned I'd have tried moving etc to persuade baby to turn.

It is personal choice I guess, but I didn't bother with a birth plan. I just couldn't see the point in trying to plan the unpredictable, so I didn't.

I am firmly in the "go with the flow" camp. There is nothing wrong with your list of preferences, but you can't know how things will go, and if you need intervention in order to have a safe delivery then you may have to be flexible.

I ended up with a ventouse for DD1 with an episiotomy. DD2 was a relatively straightforward delivery although there were a few complications. DD3 was born by emergency c-section at 35 weeks.

So everything different each time, and totally impossible to predict.

My birth plan was similar, I was encouraged to write one by the mw.

I wholly agree that I'd prefer a csection to forceps (and indeed insisted on it), so make sure that's clearly stated in your plan. And tell your partner.

Of course, going with the flow is the only real option, and that's exactly what you'll do. Don't get wedded to the birth plan (as you don't want to be disappointed if it doesn't work out that way). But it is a good idea to state your preferences, a good starting-point.

Obviously i know you cant plan birth, and if it come to it then, then the necessary things will have to happen, im not really worried for birth, i believe🤞🏼 That me and baby will both be fine and im quite relaxed, the reason i dont want pethidine is because ive read it can make you really out of it, if it gets that unbearable i would rather have an epidural so atleast i know whats happening.

Also can i put i dont mind students observing but i dont want them 'practicing' on me, would this be listened to?

@Semaphorically

"Regarding "too late for c-section", I don't believe this is medically possible.

Why else would this exist?

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zavanelli_maneuver"

This exists to prevent a stuck baby killing both baby and mother. It usually doesn't end at all well for the baby, and an also cause severe injury for the mother. It's not in an way an alternative to forceps or ventouse.

Personally op I would avoid an epidural like the plague...as far as I'm aware the likelihood of an epidural causing problems (failure to progress/assisted birth etc) is higher with an epidural than pethedine.

I've had both. Epidural in my first labour, 4 hours pushing (I couldn't feel anything at all), episiotomy and vebtouse. Pethedine in my third labour...it made me feel nauseous for 5 minutes then just gave a nice chilled out floaty feeling and let me sleep.

Birth plans ar not really for the midwifes they are for you.
They are a way to think about the huge amount of options and choices around birth before your in the thick of it.

For example part of my plan was who would stay with me and who would go with the baby if the baby was sick. It included who my partner could call to get doner milk from.

It didn't all get given to the midwife. Only the basics
Water birth for pain relief, gas and air, student midwife to be called ( she'd been to all my appointments) low lights during labour.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/birth-plan.aspx#

Here's a link to a birth plan that you might find useful.

Re student midwives, if you don't want a student to help care for you, just mention it to your midwife. However all students are supervised, and you might find that the student can provide you with more 1-2-1 care than what the midwife can.

My birth plans got more detailed and determined with each baby. By the time I wrote my third, they included things like which midwife I wanted to deliver my baby, and specifically which preventative things I was going to refuse. They followed it to the letter and it was wonderful.

I didn't do a birth plan for either of mine - it was basically "make sure by baby is safe". Drop Mike.

1. It's really sad that so many people are saying their birth plans were pointless, I've been really lucky and both times midwives read and followed mine to the word (unmedicated waterbirths being left alone with as few physical checks as possible, skin to skin and delayed cord clamping). For me it was totally worth having one.
2. You put you want delayed cord clamping and you consent to a managed third stage however if you have a managed third stage you can't have delayed cord clamping as as soon as you've had the injection you have to have the cord cut. Or at least that's what I was told. Natural third stage was really easy for me both times and I found that as soon as I stood gravity did most of the work.

I refused a lot of things in my second and third labours - ecpecially fetal heart monitoring. Despite predictions of doom from the obstetricians, those labours went perfectly, unlike the first where I 'went with the flow' and ended up with a spinal injury due to a doctor's negligence. So I'm fairly sceptical when people suggest that you must have whatever treatment is offered. It's your body and your choice. If you're fundamentally opposed to episiotomy or whatever, you have the right to refuse. On the other hand, you have the responsibility for any consequences. I think that's the scary part. There are no easy answers.

You can absolutely refuse permission to have students perform proceedures. You should be very clear up front. I am happy for students to observe, but I do not give permission for them to touch me in any way or take an active part in my care.

The most important thing is that your birth partner fully understands where you are coming from. In labour you're own voice can become lost as you are focusing on the birth. Your partner is your true advocate and if they are well informed can help you agree to what you need. DC1 I was going through the whole natural as much as I could birth plan and didn't even realise how much I was struggling til I looked at my husband. He was beyond ashen, I let tears flow and at that point, the MW asked if I wanted any pain relief. We already knew I would only take a half dose of pethidine, which is what he told them. It upset my stomach and I was sick but it got me through the next 12hours

I wrote a wish list for pfb.
I made DH read it and understand it.
The receiving midwife did
We did the wish list due to sheer bloody luck.
I did say fuck it at the third stage though as we had an actual baby and I didn't give a shiny about anything at that point

Rip it up and see what happens! Agree with pp tell your birth partner your preference and fingers crossed it will all go to plan. You can't plan a birth and I think birth plans create disappointment if what you have in mind can't be achieved for whatever reason.

I'm a midwife.

Birth plans (or preferences) are helpful to tell us what you definitely want and want you really don't want. I personally read all birth plans and do my absolute best to meet them. As long as your open minded and aware that in an emergency situation it goes out the window there is no harm in specifying preferences.

Sycamore - The zavanellie manoeuvre isn't performed in this country. Its used for a shoulder dystocia (after the head is out) when all else has failed. It's almost guaranteed to cause the death of the baby and isn't a viable option to avoid forceps or ventousse which would only be used before the head is out.

I had an episiotomy with DD1 because she lifted her chin and I was never going to stretch enough to deliver the widest part of her head. Recovery was totally fine. Agree with pp that it's useful to have a list of preferences but be willing to be flexible if baby has other ideas.

I really hated that they encouraged birth plans, as I felt I went in with the naive sense I could have 'planned' any of it.
(Induction, dodgy labour, attempted forceps resulting in a c-section)
I think it's important to discuss your wishes with your birth partner though, in case they needed to make any decisions on your behalf.

I had a C-section after going to full dilation, pushing for an hour and a half and 2 failed forceps attempts. I lost a lot of blood and suffered further internal damage which resulted in a GA during the process so would not recommend it. I didn’t have a birth plan, just vague ideas in my head. In some ways it was good as I didn’t come out of it disappointed that things hadn’t gone the way I planned them, which they really didn’t. But at the same time, the labour bit was 0-100, mainly on an induction ward in the middle of the night without my husband or any pain relief, so by the time I was wheeled down to delivery at 10cm and feeling pressure, I wasn’t in any fit state to assert anything and my husband wasn’t there yet to do it for me. I ended up on monitoring on my back for the whole (should have been) final stage and didn’t feel like I had any control at all.

Be * lying on your back

My birth plan was fairly similar to yours.

I wanted to be active, in the water etc. My worst nightmare was to be stuck on a bed and in stirrups.

I did get in the pool briefly but to be honest it didn't do a lot for me and I had to come out as the baby had pooped. And I couldn't bear standing through contractions let alone walking or bouncing I was far more comfortable lying down.

I then ended up on a bed and pushed far more effectively with feet in stirrups than I did on all fours - the midwife said that's unusual though.

I also ended up with forceps which were probably inevitable but I actually asked for them and hastened them on a bit because I was totally knackered after 5.5 hours of pushing.

Forceps were not pleasant but bearable thanks to gas and air. Obviously can't compare them to a c section as I've never had one but I would far rather have them again than have major surgery.

So yes, say what you'd like but be aware that it may not be possible, or you may well want something entirely different when the time comes.