Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend is cleaning my house! Should I be grateful or offended?

81 replies

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 09/09/2017 19:13

I had a party. All good. Now my friend who is staying over is cleaning my house. Top to bottom. Dusting, polishing, mopping. I've told her to stop but she won't!

Does that mean she thinks my house is really dirty or is she just being polite? She's raked up dust balls I didn't know existed.

Should I stop her or just relax?

What is the protocol?

OP posts:
RiversrunWoodville · 09/09/2017 19:49

My address when she finishes is...

Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 09/09/2017 19:49

Blush I went to ask her if she wants a cuppa and she said no, just something to eat. Does that mean I didn't feed her enough?!!

Anyway we've ordered takeaway.

But then she whizzed off to say she's going to clean the bathroom before it arrives!

I'm veering towards the side of asking her to marry me. But still feeling quite guilty!

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/09/2017 19:51

I'd be having a party once a month & I hate hosting parties 🤣

I'd be like you though, guilty & thrilled 😊

Any of you claiming to be 'that friend' - I make a mean latte and buy cake...

zzzzz · 09/09/2017 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 09/09/2017 19:54

If you're single then definitely ask her to marry you! Straight, bi, gay...I could cope if they'd do the housework willingly 😂

RP23 · 09/09/2017 19:56

Definitely let her crack on, she is probably just trying to be helpful! Maybe make her a cuppa too!

DerelictWreck · 09/09/2017 19:59

I wouldn't be upset at someone cleaning up after a party, but is she cleaning more than the party dirt OP? Cus if she is, I'd suggest it means she things your house is messy/dirty and, well intentioned, is trying to help.

hesterton · 09/09/2017 20:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/09/2017 20:07

It depends how messy/dirty the house was before the party - and how much of the cleaning relates to party mess - as to whether you should be taking offence.

Leeds2 · 09/09/2017 20:13

Going against the grain here, but I would be really peed off. Especially if I had asked her to stop and she didn't.
I would probably (politely) ask her to leave.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 09/09/2017 20:18

A couple of years ago when DS was still v little, I agreed to give my best friend a place to stay for a while.

It could have been awful.......
It was fucking amazing!! Grin

She was so much more houseproud than me (I'm a lazy git!)

She cleaned things, tidied things, brought me tea when I was breast feeding, cooked dinner etc.

Being 100% honest when she first did it I felt like she was saying it wasn't clean/tidy enough for her, but I know for a fact that she was doing it because she was grateful for the room, and felt she should be extra lovely to make up for imposing on my family life.

Cleaning after a party is exactly the sort of thing she would do, and having known her for 20 years, I no longer get offended.
In fact I am forever so indebted to her for the help she gives me, and now I just stick my feet up and thank my lucky stars to have such an amazing friend!

Original poster
IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 09/09/2017 20:27

Well it's definitely non party dirt. Like the bathroom and a whole load of floor dust I never knew existed. But my place isn't messy, everything put away, just a bit faded round the edges!

I've lured her onto the sofa with Strictly Come Dancing and I'm nursing my pre-hangover with peppermint tea so things have calmed down now.

I've decided some people just like cleaning.

But I don't.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/09/2017 20:28

Ah she is just saying thanks in a weird way
But yes maybe the dirt annoyed her a bit !

Sandsunsea · 09/09/2017 20:28

I'd be delighted and would pour her wine and buy her takeaway and put her at the top of my Christmas list forever. Lucky you

gamerchick · 09/09/2017 20:30

Is it the tidy ups from a speed comedown?

Just let her get on with it.

InsomniacAnonymous · 09/09/2017 20:36

Have you got the impression she's been dying to clean your house for a while and the party was an excuse/reason?

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 09/09/2017 20:37

Some people really enjoy cleaning, I know it's weird but they do exist.

lemony7 · 09/09/2017 20:38

I'm this friend too. When I was younger I was invited to a house party, got smashed, and then thoroughly cleaned their house.

DD5 does this too now. She went to my friend's house and gave it a good clean over the summer. Said friend has requested she comes back to do it again 🙈

fannydaggerz · 09/09/2017 20:47

I would love it if someone came to my house and tackled my kitchen.

Leave your friend to it unless you're really uncomfortable, then ask them to stop.

Steeley113 · 09/09/2017 20:53

My friend often comes round and cleans. She's single with no kids and I have 2 kids and currently battling morning sickness with number 3. She's amazing!

MistressPage · 09/09/2017 20:53

Just leave her to it and appreciate. Me and DH used to get slightly offended when my mum cleaned on every visit. But she's just much much more into cleaning than me. I find her doing things that wouldn't even occur to me, like washing the back of the front door. These days I just let her get on with it and look at it as having a free cleaner 😂

BillBrysonsBeard · 09/09/2017 20:55

My MIL is like this.. I was offended at first but then realised she loves cleaning, and it's only a few times a year. I confess I'm not a deep cleaner so she can fill her boots Grin

underneaththeash · 09/09/2017 21:06

I've had to clean a friend's house before, it was really really dirty and I was worried that she'd end up giving her children something nasty. Sh had post natal depression and her husband was absolutely useless.

However, your friends d I st sounds a bit obsessed...take her out for lunch.

Mama1980 · 09/09/2017 21:13

My best friend is a little like this, first time like you I couldn't decide how to react but she genuinely loves to clean, last time I went away she roped my boyfriend into helping her clean the whole house completely. I love her.

RiseToday · 09/09/2017 22:29

I wouldn't like this and its happened to me before.

Helping to clean up party mess is one thing. Cleaning the entirety of your house is quite insulting to be honest.

Swipe left for the next trending thread