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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me quit this job ***coward alert***

74 replies

FuckMyUterus · 09/09/2017 08:47

Obviously not an Abu, but I desperately need help as I'm a HUGE coward.
I live a few doors along from my local pub, and the manager lives about 5 miles away (this is relevant).
So the manager is my partners childhood friend, and she's lovely but very young (think early 20s) and has a young child. When she took over the managers job there was a lot of money going missing, and as she couldn't pinpoint who was responsible, she sacked all staff. I took on some bar hours and responsibility for the cleaning each morning. All was good for a few weeks.
I am now in the position where I am constantly expected to work hours that I previously stated I can't do and get guilt tripped into doing so.
Twice over the past 2 weeks I have arrived at the pub to clean in the morning and found the manager still there from the night before, pissed as a fart, and accompanied by various friends of hers. I am also greeted by sick in the toilets, shit on the walls in female toilets and tissues covered with blood on pub tables along with white powder. I have had enough. I am BEGGING fellow mumsnetters to write a text (I can't do it face to face as she will guilt trip me and I'm not strong enough) quitting this shitstate of a job. Please please help me! I can't be too aggressive in the text as I obviously live very close and don't want too much awkwardness. Sorry for long post.

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckMyUterus · 09/09/2017 08:50

I should add when I arrive at the pub, nothing is put away, there are glasses and cigarettes on every surface from lock ins and I am expected to just clean up after her in every way.

OP posts:
Yerroblemom1923 · 09/09/2017 08:52

Do you have another job to go to?

Original poster
FuckMyUterus · 09/09/2017 08:54

I don't no, however my OH works in am extremely well paid job and has told me I need to quit this job. (he feels I'm being taken advantage of and has caused many arguments)

OP posts:
Runningpear · 09/09/2017 08:56

Don't expand on the reasons why, simply say you are leaving and when your last day will be...

"Hi Mr Manager, I'm formally giving my notice for my job as a Xxxx. Please be advised my last working day is xxxx. Thanks"
Don't go into the disgusting state of the pub, just say you can't do it anymore and if they keep asking why say you are not doing it anymore.
If you give them a reason they can try to argue, so avoid giving them a reason. Good luck - sounds awful btw!

FittonTower · 09/09/2017 08:58

I wouldn't have taken a job from someone who sacked an entire workforce because she couldn't be arsed to find out who was stealing, she sounds very unpleasant.
But I wouldn't explain, I'd just say you are handing in your notice and give whatever notice is required in your contract (if you have one)

olderandnowiser · 09/09/2017 08:58

This sounds like the job from hell! just about anything would be better than this job! I would just text something like
'so sorry, will have to leave my job as I have been offered something else, all the best'
So basically, just lie Confused
She will probably text back saying you've let her down etc, maybe swearing at you. I would ignore anything she texts. By the sound of it, she will be getting the sack soon anyway.

CrazyDuchess · 09/09/2017 08:58

Exactly what running said - don't give a reason!

Original poster
FuckMyUterus · 09/09/2017 08:59

Thanks running I'm not a workshy person, nor do I think any job is 'beneath' me but I feel like I'm having the piss ripped out of me as she knows I'll just clean whatever mess she and her friends leave behind Sad

OP posts:
Berthatydfil · 09/09/2017 08:59

Is this pub owned by a larger business or a chain?
I think you need to advise the owners that the manager isn't up to the job. She's having lock ins, there's evidence of drug taking and she's not doing her job properly.
Do it now before the police raid it or the owners work out what's going on.
If you can't do that then text her
Sorry I can't carry on working at x pub. I will with one weeks notice and my last shift will be x day.

Then when she texts you back begging to reconsider you reply
My mind is made up I cannot remain working at x. I will not reconsider.

And repeat as necessary .

InstaHun · 09/09/2017 08:59

"Hi, I am afraid I have to resign with immediate effect. I feel badnleavignyounin thebkurch but to be honest the state rhebpib has been in when I have come I to clean has been so terrible that I cannot continue. Also I can't keep doing the extra hours you ask of me, it's not fair on my family. You need to find someone with more hours available. I wish you luck finding someone."

Then turn your phone off and don't look at her reply until tonight. Whatever she says reply only once with "I won't change my mind. I can't be expected to clean up sick, shit on walls and drugs. Plus I can't do the extra hours you need. I have always said that and I can't keep bending to the extra requirements you have."

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/09/2017 08:59

What running said. That's all you need to say.

insancerre · 09/09/2017 08:59

I would be making a phone call to the police to report the white powder and the brewery to report the manager

Then just tell the manager you are no longer able to work as you don't need the money and don't enjoy cleaning up bodily fluids
That's not a job you need

Remy66 · 09/09/2017 09:00

Keep it professional.
If you have a notice period to work you can't just not go in so you will have to face her I think.
Just text something like
"Hi xx
This job just isn't working for me, so I'd like to give my notice to leave on x date (end of notice period, please advise if I am to put this in writing for you"
Then keep the text. She might try to keep you on by getting to the end of the notice period and saying oh you need to put it in writing to be sent to Xy/HR/whatever. So make sure you clarify that and have proof of such

Spuddington · 09/09/2017 09:00

Freehold or chain? Curious as if it's a chain it's a no go, even if it's brewery run.

Original poster
FuckMyUterus · 09/09/2017 09:01

Bertha it's a freehold owned by a local businessman who owns several other pubs. He will catch her eventually as he has linked the cameras to his phone and he checks them randomly.

OP posts:
olderandnowiser · 09/09/2017 09:03

More reason to get out of the situation, FuckMyUterus, you don't want to be seen as involved if/when the owner calls in police etc.

CoraPirbright · 09/09/2017 09:04

Sounds horrendous! Just keep it polite, friendly and professional as everyone else has said. Stick to the letter of your contract (if you have one?!!) or verbal agreement as regards a notice period and then she doesn't have a leg to stand on. If you really are a coward (just think how much they have been taking advantage off you grrrrr) then if they start guilt tripping you just ignore, ignore, ignore or perhaps even get your OH to weigh in as they are old friends.

She sounds very immature and I expect wont be in that job too long herself!

insancerre · 09/09/2017 09:05

Does the owner not deserve a heads up as to what is happening in his pub?

Original poster
FuckMyUterus · 09/09/2017 09:05

Right I think I've got it.
'hi xxxxx, I'm afraid I am going to have to resign as of now. The state the pub has been left in is totally unacceptable, and I am unable to be as flexible as you need with regards to bar hours.' obviously padded out with details that I can't write here as it would be identifying

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckMyUterus · 09/09/2017 09:07

insancerre he came in yesterday whilst I was on shift and I basically told him he needed to be checking the cameras BEFORE I cleaned of a morning, so it won't be long before she's caught. I am going to text now, wish me luck!

OP posts:
insancerre · 09/09/2017 09:07

I wouldn't say anything about the state of the pub being unacceptable
She might then blame you when the shit hits the fan
Just say you can't cope with the workload anymore

Anymajordude · 09/09/2017 09:08

Good for you. I'm sure it'll be a relief not to have to go back.

LyannaStarktheWolfMaid · 09/09/2017 09:08

You don't need to give any reasons. Just resign!

insancerre · 09/09/2017 09:08

Good luck!
You will feel so much better

FittonTower · 09/09/2017 09:11

I don't think putting the reasons in is a good idea if you really want to quit - that gives her room to negotiate. Just tell her you are resigning and give her the last date you'll be working

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