Help me quit this job ***coward alert***

[FuckMyUterus]

Obviously not an Abu, but I desperately need help as I'm a HUGE coward.
I live a few doors along from my local pub, and the manager lives about 5 miles away (this is relevant).
So the manager is my partners childhood friend, and she's lovely but very young (think early 20s) and has a young child. When she took over the managers job there was a lot of money going missing, and as she couldn't pinpoint who was responsible, she sacked all staff. I took on some bar hours and responsibility for the cleaning each morning. All was good for a few weeks.
I am now in the position where I am constantly expected to work hours that I previously stated I can't do and get guilt tripped into doing so.
Twice over the past 2 weeks I have arrived at the pub to clean in the morning and found the manager still there from the night before, pissed as a fart, and accompanied by various friends of hers. I am also greeted by sick in the toilets, shit on the walls in female toilets and tissues covered with blood on pub tables along with white powder. I have had enough. I am BEGGING fellow mumsnetters to write a text (I can't do it face to face as she will guilt trip me and I'm not strong enough) quitting this shitstate of a job. Please please help me! I can't be too aggressive in the text as I obviously live very close and don't want too much awkwardness. Sorry for long post.

How is she running a bar singlehanded with no bar staff?

happy I think the op probably does too, which is why she's asking for support.

fuck if she doesn't respond to your text, get her to confirm she's received it and stand firm. She's not your friend, I wouldn't expect my friends to be cleaning up my piss, shit etc.. just distance yourself from the situation and try to just view it through professional eyes, you are just quitting an unsuitable job.

She's not managing this business, it's just a matter of time before it all crashes down around her. No matter how many shifts you take on, or how much shit you clean up she can't go on for long if she is drinking and partying all night. Do you have a contract specifying a notice period? If so you need to give her that notice, if it's just ad hoc you can stop immediately. Text ''Dear Manager, I am sorry but it is no longer possible for me to work at the pub any more'. You don't have to explain, and you don't have to feel guilty and it sounds like your dh is supportive. Switch your phone off after sending the text, or block her number and don't enter into any discussion.

corny it wasn't smeared on the walls, it looked as though someone with a poorly tummy (ahem) had pulled down their bottoms, bent over and let rip up the wall

fortunately THIS is why I'm getting guilt tripped, she basically does all the nights and expects me to do all the day shifts, and if I say no, I have to endure 'I work all night I could use some support during the day, I have a child, blah blah blah'

Also wondering how she can run a pub into the ground with no staff?

And you mention she has a child!
Who minds the child if she is there all hours of the day and night?

Sounds like the manager will herself be sacked too if she carries on with this behaviour, she must be haemorrhaging money if she's having stay behinds with her friends.

and if I say no, I have to endure 'I work all night I could use some support during the day, I have a child, blah blah blah

But none of that is your problem, she is taking advantage of your good nature - good luck OP, hope everything works out for you

Would be a good idea to also text scary owner too? - 'just to let you know that I have handed in notice'. Then also send another text to idiot manager - 'By the way I have let Owner know that I have handed in my notice, don't know whether that's something I am obliged to do but just to be on the safe side' - play dumb.

Think she is less likely to give you shit if she knows it's already 'gone higher' - then if she badgers you 'Would it be helpful if I reminded Owner that my notice is now up? If he knows you are having trouble recruiting then perhaps he will offer to fund more cleaning hours/better rate' (basically translates as 'if you carry on hassling me I'll let owner know')

yorkie if she works during the day the poor child is stuck there until 7pm when gp pick her up...

fizzy that's an excellent idea!

Don't say "I am afraid I will have to resign", you have nothing to apologise for. Just say, I am resigning. It is firmer, and harder for her to argue against.

Op that's awful for the child :(

She sounds like a disgrace sorry.
Not that you probably don't agree to some level I'm sure.

You will feel so much happier away from there :)

"Dear x I am writing to tender my resignation, my last shift will be from a to b on ydate" Yours.. FMU

It is much easier to quit a crap job than a good one.

Her poor business decisions are not your problem. Don´t let her guilt trip you into going this terrible job. Stay strong!

Sooo not your problem! Be free!

update so she has replied and has actually been really mature about it. She thanked me for saying I'd work a weeks notice, and had wished me well for the future and says she hopes I'll still frequent the pub, and not to feel unwelcome. Worrying for nothing I guess!

Hmm mature or not wanting to piss you off so you dob her in??

anyway glad it's sorted

How bloody disappointing

Glad it's all sorted for you OP. She does sound like a dreadful pisstaker.

That was a disappointingly reasonable response.

Damn. I was hoping for a bit of huffiness at the very least.

She's definitely trying to keep you sweet!
Glad you're off the hook.

Haha that was my first thought, that she's keeping me sweet .
Im sorry to have disappointed you all, I love a bit of drama too, when it's not much own!

glad it wasnt as bad as you thought it might be x

See, you were worrying about nothing! Only a matter if time before the shit hits the fan for her, though. You're well out of it.

Well done 👍🏻 always best to keep it professional