To not let the cats in the house?

[cantkeepcalm]

I understand there are cat lovers on here which would say IABU but I have two cats which I do not want but I feel I'm forced to keep them for the DC by my XDP. I'm not allowed to get rid of them because I'll be made out to be a bad person if I do basically.
Bit of background, we lived together and had 2 DC together and he has an older DC from a previous relationship. I moved to my mums after we split, he then got a new GF and just moved in with her so I moved back here (stayed on the tenancy). His older DC, didn't want to move so she stays with me. She wants the cats and loves them (not that she actually looks after them I do). When XDP lived here he let the cats do what they like and the carpets were always furry etc (even though he hated them himself).
I feed them and then they go back outside. XDP has just called me horrible names saying I'm cruel. I like the keep the house fur free and clean, I know a few people who keep their animals outside. If I do let them in then they stay in the kitchen. I can't stand them going on my DC beds or leaving fur stuck in my carpets or on my sofas. They don't have a cat flap so I've been told to leave the kitchen window open which means then walking all over my clean kitchen worktop to get in and out and it disgusts me. AIBU to want to keep my house clean, I feel uneasy with them in the house! They steal food of peoples plates, be sick on my carpet, wee in the kitchen etc if they're left in all the time. Since they have stayed out my house just feels so much more cleaner and I feel I can relax a bit more. But no now I'm cruel. They're far from neglected! I don't leave them out to starve, they have a bed in the shed so they have shelter.

Just feel so upset right now! Sorry for the rant!!

They will be bloody cold this winter. YAB completely U.

Wouldn't let them in either. The cat shelter is plenty warm enough.

Cat owners can't have it boths ways. "Oh they are natural roamers! It's cruel to keep them in!" And then??? "Poor things are cold!"

YABVU

Either treat them properly or rehome them.

There's a difference between allowing a cat access to roam and shutting it away from heat and companionship and the comforts of home. FFS.

He is right, You are cruel.

YABVU and very bloody cruel. Better to rehome them than leave them outside. How awful that you'd rather let them suffer than be called ''horrible names'' which actually would be deserved anyway. You sit outside in the cold and wet and see how you like it. A fine example you are to your DC.

I would either take them to the shelter or make your exdp take them. Call me all the horrible names in the world, I'd not have a cat in my home.

YABVU. Either care for them properly (which isn't dumping them in a shed in the garden - which won't be heated or probably even waterproof), or rehome them to someone who wants them and who is willing to look after them.

Cat owners can't have it boths ways. "Oh they are natural roamers! It's cruel to keep them in!" And then??? "Poor things are cold!"

There's a difference between letting them roam (and come back in at night/in winter/when it rains) and leaving them out 24/7regardless of the weather. A non-heated shed is not adequate shelter!

Cats will survive outside. Remember you don't own a cat it owns you, they'll be off and adopt someone if they don't like your gaff.

Cats need training and the right facilities. Give them warm beds in the kitchen and they will be drawn to them. If you don't want them upstairs, keep bedroom doors shut. I taught my cat he could only go on the sofa if he was on 'his' cushion. Treat them as you would children - rules, but compassion. And if you genuinely can't tolerate cats, then be honest and rehomed them, rather than be passively cruel.

I don't like cats much but there's no way I'd leave them in an unheated shed!

Rehome them FFS.

Depends on the cats as some cats are outdoors cats like farm cats and you say they do have shelter. If they are originally indoor cats however you are being cruel to them. Just the thought of my cats not being able to come in upsets meI rather cuddle up to my lovely cats than admire a clean worktop.

Yes you are being cruel. Why did you get them?
Either treat them properly or rehome them.

We kept our cats outside when I was a child but I grew up in Australia. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving an animal outside over winter unless it was a snow dog or sonething like that. It's also bloody annoying when people let their cats roam around other people's gardens. I think you had best tell your daughter that the cats are not yours and you are not responsible for them. Seeing as she doesn't take care of them they have to go live with your ex because he bought them.

Cats love heat. Where are they getting this from?

Ok clearly noted, I'll sort something out with them and take all advice onboard. I don't want to be cruel to them, I just feel uneasy when the house doesn't seem clean because of the cats, I thought someone would understand that side of things too?

Is there any way to train them to not go on sofas, of climb on kitchen worktops, or to not eat food off our plates? To be honest I have personally never known a cat to eat other people's food. I did let them in yesterday and one of them took my DDs sausage roll right off her plate and made her cry (she's 3).

Any advice on training to maybe help me with this situation?

Yes totally unreasonable and I'm no cat lover, even more so if they are not brought up as outdoor cats, if we have a hard winter they will either die or get very ill, probably become a little feral, explain that to your dc before you decide

Just to derail this a little
why the Fuck does your ex partner get to tell you - you have to have cats and how you have to keep them
Take them round to his house and make it his problem,
and if he cant keep them for the DC - he can be the bad guy.

Pets aren't allowed in his new house. It's a private rented house

still his problem !

They probably wee in the kitchen because they can't get in & out on their own without a cat flap, and it's very clear that you aren't the type of person to tolerate a litter tray in the house - YOU try staying in one room with no access to a loo for hours!

Fur comes up with a bit of vacuum cleaning, and cats are much cleaner & more sanitary to have around than most pets (yeah I know, you wouldn't have any pets at all anyway). How can they steal food off people's plates unless the plates are left lying around with food on them and unattended?

All domestic animals should have the right to food, appropriate shelter (not a cold shed in the garden) and veterinary treatment if required. Interestingly you haven't mentioned fleas & parasites, as I'd also imagine you aren't the type to take the cats to the vet for annual checkups, de-fleaing & de-worming and injections.

Cats also enjoy human interaction and attention/affection.

So basically you ARE neglecting the cats and being cruel.

I think you should do the decent thing and re-home them.

Wow, some charming responses here. It's fairly clear (to me, at least) that the OP is someone without much knowledge of cats, but instead of kindly explaining cat care, you're ripping into her as though she's deliberately and maliciously neglecting this cat.
@cantkeepcalm you don't sound horrible to me. Not only are you seeking advice, you've only complained about the cat being foisted on you, while generously accepting your feckless ex-partner's DD, without complaining about that!

Your ex needs to grow up and stop dumping his problems on others. Trying to make you feel guilty is his means of punishing you for questioning him, but actually he doesn't have any right to push back. You've let him out of a relationship, let him out of a potentially expensive tenancy, taken in his daughter, saved him from having to deal with the cat. He's done nothing for you, so has nothing to threaten you with!

I despair at times. How do you all think farm cats (and feral cats) live? Outside, that's how. You don't have to have them in the house. Actually, I'd take them to the rehoming place and tell everyone they ran away why should you be responsible for worming, defeating, yearly jabs, feeding etc. .

Rehome the cats please.

In reguards to how do you sto pa cat taking food of the plate, why was the cat on the table in the first place? What would you do if your 3 year old stole from someone else's plate? You say, 'No!' in a firm voice and move them. It's not difficult.

I have the feeling you have never had pets before OP? Yes, animals shed, yes animals do naughty things, just like children. You brush the cats to remove the excess fur, you hoover a little more often. Clean the work tops before you use them. This is just standard with owning cats.

But in all seriousness, please find better forever homes for your animals.