AIBU to not want DP to work from home?

[Limeblackpepper]

DP has worked from home for several years. Before having our third DC, I said I wouldn't be happy to have him at home all day, and he agreed to find a space to work.

DD is now 1 and he's only just started to work in an office space. Occasionally, he'll stay at home unexpectedly and work from the bedroom. I hate having him here as I need some space and I don't like not being able to ask him for help when things are difficult (e.g. Baby crawling around and I need to cook lunch/take washing in/etc.).

Today had a ridiculous argument as he said he couldn't get to work as he'd left it too late (?!) and he got very angry saying I make him feel bad about it. Who IBU?

So is the dh in this scenario not cut out to be a dad who works at home if he wants a lunch break penguin?

Of course you should have an equal amount of 'lunch break' if you're both in the house.

Thanks for your responses.

If you wouldn't/don't mind DP at home with you all day, fine. This wouldn't be an issue for you; but it is for me. I made it clear that I would mind it and we came to an agreement; I thought this would avoid the current situation!

I have waited a year for him to actually do what he said he would. A year! Yes, I can go out, but it's so much easier and cheaper to be at home for lunchtime and the school day is short. I leave for school pick up at 2:45.

Dh was given work from home instead of paternity leave. I sent his ass back to work. It caused me no end of problems having him in the house. And I had no where else I could be.

Is there a reason the OP can't have a lunch break as he's saved himself loads of time and he is there?

I don't get competitive martyrdom

Pennymise It's not bollocks, OP is effectively saying she is jealous that her DH gets a lunch break when he's working at home. That's ridiculous. Now if OP is saying that he hides in the bedroom during that hour and refuses to interact with their child because "he's on his lunch break" that would piss me right off. My DH comes down for his lunch break but has it in the kitchen with us and interacts with DS at the same time (although he quite often disappears to walk the dog for 45 mins). OP has also not said what her DH does to help come 5.30 or whenever he finishes work. If he steps up to family life and helps with dinner or plays with the kids, helps with homework or puts some laundry on etc then fair enough. If he then says "bye, I'm off to the gym" or whatever then OP is perfectly within her rights to be pissed off with him. Parenting is about balance, irrespective of whether people are working/not working and whether that work is inside or outside the house.

YABU but I do sympathise. For some reason it's far more annoying not to be able
to ask your partner for help with a baby or toddler when they're in the same house than when they're in an office elsewhere.

My DP mostly works from home and toddler meltdowns are more trying when you know there's another adult around but not dealing with it.