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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu for cracking upwith toddler and food?

70 replies

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:15

If your toddler doesn't like a particular meal (cue arm flailing and tears) do you make them a completely different one to get them to eat, and bin the previous? Getting a bit sick of chucking stuff in the bin

What if it is a meal they have eaten before happily?

How often can you tell yourself that maybe they are just not hungry, especially if they haven't eaten anything much all day? Or should you cave and give them fucking porridge and a yoghurt something that you know they will eat?

OP posts:

PlumFairy2014 · 06/09/2017 19:18

How old is your toddler?

AdoraBell · 06/09/2017 19:20

If the food can be reheated then keep it, but don't try to force the same thing over and over. The most important thing is to avoid food becoming a battle, you will lose.

I found that my toddlers wanted my food, so I put new things or the food I really wanted them to eat on my plate. That seemed to make it far more appealing to them.

As long as they are happy, healthy and growing then try to go with the flow of their appetite. Just don't let them have chocolate or sweets right after rejecting actual food.

Good luck

tiggerbounce77 · 06/09/2017 19:23

If it was a meal that had happily been eaten previously then there would be no alternative, if it was a new food I was introducing I would offer something I knew they would eat with new food alongside so.i would know they had eaten something if it was a completely new food and they had tried but didn't like I would offer a very basic alternative.

Raver84 · 06/09/2017 19:29

How old is the toddler? I would leave them to eat what ever it is if they have enjoyed it before. With new foods I would put a bit in the plate for them to try. Tbh I think throwing food away is part of it it's less bothersome when it's a meal you have made for you also so try and cook everyone the same meal so you have not cooker a special meal for baby that's been a wasted effort. Also try to to give milk in advance of meals I know loads of people who did this and baby just wasn't hungry (as I would be after drinking a pint of milk).

EB123 · 06/09/2017 19:32

It depends on age and understanding.
If it is something they usually like then I assume not hungry, if it something new and they try and don't like it then I will give a piece of toast or something instead.

fuckingroundabout · 06/09/2017 19:32

I do exactly as tigger does.

Although usually later on when there is protests of being hungry I reorder the dinner or if it can't be reheated just plain toast.

Urubu · 06/09/2017 19:35

My now 3yo tried this once, he was served the same for dinner while we had something else. He threw himself on the floor and screamed for a couple of minutes, when he saw us ignoring him and eating he calmly joined us. Hasn't refused a meal since.
I strongly believe the key is to show them that it doesn't affect you that they don't want to eat. No begging for them to have one more bite, no spoon feeding them, just "that is fine if you are not hungry but there won't be anything else instead."

Original poster

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:41

Toddler is 18 months. Definitely something they liked before. Have this weird paranoia about putting back into fridge food that a spoon has touched after the spoon has been into both mouth and food iyswim? Read somewhere you shouldn't? I usually cave and give him a yoghurt. He knows i will and now he's just waiting for that.....

OP posts:

Original poster

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:42

He's still really young mentally....no concept of future or consequences at all understandably...and obvs I don't expect him to have! It's just happening so often with food he happily ate before.

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 06/09/2017 19:43

You usually cave.
That's the problem.

Mirrorballfrog · 06/09/2017 19:44

Mine is exactly like this at the moment. It's so frustrating. I just keep offering but always offer it alongside something I know he will definitely eat.

Mirrorballfrog · 06/09/2017 19:44

He's still just a baby remember.

Original poster

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:45

OK...confession here: I have this weird obsession with him eating veggies (I mean, I know it's not weird per se, but the degree to which i feel uncomfortable if he hasn't eaten a plate of spinach and greens is a bit weird) . He won't if they're whole but will if pureed...so he ends up getting FAR too much pureed food.

OP posts:

Original poster

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:46

wolfie yep! That!!

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Mirrorballfrog · 06/09/2017 19:46

Mine won't even eat them puréed! I grate them into cheese muffins b

PacificDogwod · 06/09/2017 19:48

18 months!
He's a baby - he is just discovering that he has the power to say 'no' and is enjoying that.

NEVER make food a fight - you will lose.

With every meal offer something you know he likes and something new.
Remove what he does not eat without fuss.
Keep offering whatever it was he refused (it can take up to 9x for a child to try something before they will like it. So, IME up to 2 million times of offering it before they will have tried it 9 times... ).

Fwiw, I have weaned 4 DCs pretty much the same way; 3 eat almost anything, DS4 of a flipping nightmare. He is 7 and a half.

Just sayin'.

NEVER make mealtimes a war zone.

Gooseberrytart4 · 06/09/2017 19:48

If mine don't eat, I take the hint that they aren't hungry. I want them to have a balanced attiltide to food so don't pester them to eat. Id rather they stopped when they have had enough.

PacificDogwod · 06/09/2017 19:49

DS4 have never eating a whole strawberry but will have them pureed.

Did I mention he is 7 and a half?

Mirrorballfrog · 06/09/2017 19:49

pacific has it right.

Original poster

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:50

Yep, good advice from all. I seriously need to chill the fuck out about this before I go spare and he gets an issue. New start tomorrow. More finger food, less pureed veg crap!!

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Crumbs1 · 06/09/2017 19:51

At that age, I'd offer the food and if not eaten, I'd bin it. A bit later (to avoid giving the message that if you don't eat your food you get something else) I'd give the child a sandwich or some plain pasta and vegetables.

Original poster

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:52

Thanks guys...feel better . Have all the , , and for your help!

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Nomorechickens · 06/09/2017 19:52

I read some advice recently, can't remember where, that you don't try to coax your child to eat something, make them try things, eat just one more spoonful etc. You put a varied and nutritious plate in front of them (ideally haha) , if they don't want it you say "you don't have to eat it" and give them a plain alternative, something they should eat OK eg toast or plain pasta. (Not sweetened yogurt!) Apparently they soon get curious and want to try things, and they don't starve. Reduces stress and worth a try.

Gooseberrytart4 · 06/09/2017 19:52

I don't cook alternatives. Possibly about once a year I might offer something else because the meal truly tastes awful even to adult tastebuds but I don't pander day to day. Will reoffer a meal later if they wernt hungry earlier. Offer a wide range of foods and be creative and experimental with recipes and ingredients

Original poster

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:53

Will be buying in some plain yoghurt as this Activia nonsense is getting out of hand!!

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