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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu for cracking upwith toddler and food?

70 replies

SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 19:15

If your toddler doesn't like a particular meal (cue arm flailing and tears) do you make them a completely different one to get them to eat, and bin the previous? Getting a bit sick of chucking stuff in the bin

What if it is a meal they have eaten before happily?

How often can you tell yourself that maybe they are just not hungry, especially if they haven't eaten anything much all day? Or should you cave and give them fucking porridge and a yoghurt something that you know they will eat?

OP posts:
PacificDogwod · 06/09/2017 19:54

I give DS4 1 (one!) pea and praise him if he eats it.
Ditto 1 kernel of sweet corn...

He has 1 banana and 1 carrot every day because those are 'safe' foods for him.

In most every other respects he is quite average.

I will be darned if I cook different dinners for everybody's peccadilloes!!

Gooseberrytart4 · 06/09/2017 19:55

Sometimes stopping snacking helps create an appetite at meal times.

Wolfiefan · 06/09/2017 19:58

Picky meals are good when they go through a stage of this. Mine love making their own wraps. Tortillas, chicken and then a selection. Carrot. Cucumber. Salad. Cheese. Etc etc.
That way they eat something!

MrsJamesAspey · 06/09/2017 19:58

I had massive massive battles with my daughter as a toddler and beyond, and my only advice is DONT battle. Just act like it doesn't bother you, take the food away and then offer something else later on and maybe porridge before bed, so that you know they've eaten and aren't going to keep you awake cuz they're hungry.

If only I could go back in time and stop the massive power battles we had over food, for years she wouldn't even try something if she thought I'd know, but if she was at a friends she'd try new things and then weeks later tell me that she likes that now.

Banania · 06/09/2017 19:59

Yes try to let him get hungry. And never let him think that you give a shit.

If you're really obsessing about the spinach puree, put it into a fruit smoothie, he'll probably drink that happily!

Banania · 06/09/2017 20:00

Oh and they do get pickier as they get older, that's normal too.

Banania · 06/09/2017 20:00

Oh and they do get pickier as they get older, that's normal too.

purpledonkey · 06/09/2017 20:02

My kids are fussy as fuck. So they go hungry if it's something they have accepted before and enjoyed but don't want that particular day.
If it's brand new stuff and they won't even try it I lose the will to live but I figure it'll get easier eventually. But I only try new things alongside familiar things.
Mine are 3 and nearly 2. I try and live by the rule 'never fight about food' and remember if they are hungry, they will eat! Stop making replacements!!

waterrat · 06/09/2017 20:03

Gosh he is so young. Honestly chill and dont put too much emotion onto individual meals. Toddlers are supposed to eat well over a week not eat big meals three times a day.

Original poster
SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 20:07

Love the idea of a picky meal! thought this word was banned on mn, even though I only learnt it here

Yeah, I think the problem is my pureed stupid attempts. Just one bowl of stuff to eat or refuse! Tonight was: spinach, broccoli, noodles and cheese...ALL pureed with milk. Christ...sometimes writing it down makes you realise what an idiot you're being!!!

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 06/09/2017 20:29

Is he feeding himself? Give him whole stuff, not purees and let him at it with a fork or just his paws. Make sure if you're eating you've got the same. Also ensure he's hungry. Finally, pretend you don't give a shit whether he eats it but no yogurt until he's eaten most of the food.

Mine looks at his plate and says 'I no like broccli'. I shrug and say 'eat the other bits then'.

IWantACheeseburger · 06/09/2017 20:45

He's way too old for purees OP! No wonder he didn't want to eat it. My 15 month old loves noodles and spaghetti etc, things that he can stuff in his face easily basically.

Let him have fun with his food and then he will learn which parts he likes or doesn't like. He doesn't need to eat a whole plate of spinach, that's madness.

2/3 meals mostly eaten is what I aim for as I read somewhere that that's about average for a toddler to have one meal a day where they eat less.

Original poster
SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 21:32

I worry so much about my inability to move off the purees. Just got this vegetable obsession ...(cram as many as I can in) but I do see now that I'm doing it wrong and not letting him grow up or make food choices.

OP posts:
Original poster
SamoyedSam · 06/09/2017 21:34

I have this convo in my head:

samoyed1: purees are bad; he can only feed himself a little before he gets bored and I spoon it inm, etc.

samoyed2 He. Must. Get. His. Veg. At. All. Cost.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 06/09/2017 21:36

Chill! Seriously. Never make food a battlefield.
I don't mean being picky. I mean let him pick and choose.
Jacket potato. Cheese and veg and meat separately. He can sprinkle or mix or pick at what he wants.
Finger food. Quesadillas are good. Tacos too.
I tried to offer at least something I knew would be eaten! Even if it was the garlic bread that I served with the pasta.
Kids are much older now and outgrown the fussy.

IWantACheeseburger · 06/09/2017 21:38

Why do you think he needs so much veg OP? Have you got issues with food that you are projecting on to him?
You will put him off veg altogether if you force him to eat it all the time.

Mirrorballfrog · 06/09/2017 21:39

What do you think will happen to him if he doesn't eat much veg?

My brother literally lived on sausages and mash (I'm not exaggerating) until he was four. He's a strapping healthy 17 year old now.

KindergartenKop · 06/09/2017 21:39

I make a hidden veg and lentil sauce which I puree and then put on pasta. They like that.

TitusAndromedon · 06/09/2017 21:41

I worry about veg as well, but there are so many more interesting ways to serve it, and there is life and value beyond green veg as well! I grate carrot into chilli or spaghetti bolognese, I make a cheesy pasta sauce with butternut squash and cauliflower, and Annabelle Karmel has a great recipe for a tomato-based pasta sauce with loads of veg in it. I also make savoury flapjacks with carrots and courgettes grated in, as well as savoury veggie muffins and even just omelettes with veg.

Notcontent · 06/09/2017 21:42

18 months? At that age my dd suddenly became very picky but that fine as I just gave her really plain but healthy stuff that I knew she would eat - chopped up fruit, bits of veg, plain penne pasta, bread, plain full fat yoghurt, plain chicken breast, etc.

HiJenny35 · 06/09/2017 21:43

18 months every meal I offered a range of veg: carrot sticks, cucumber sticks, pepper sticks, apple slices, broccoli, etc and then a bit of the main meal on the side. That way they get the main meal but also will always eat something. 18 just keep offering a good range and don't worry as much.

DixieNormas · 06/09/2017 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Puppymouse · 06/09/2017 21:48

Our rules are if it's something we know she would normally eat or has had before she has to eat a specific number of mouthfuls (usually 10) or she can't have pudding. That usually works. If it doesn't work she is removed from the table.

If it's something she hasn't had before she has to try it and if she still doesn't like it then I'll usually let her have just part of it if it's something she'll eat or some fruit and cold meat or some toast or something instead. But she has to try. She doesn't have a massive appetite so I tend to let her say if she's had enough.

Wolfiefan · 06/09/2017 21:50

Oh and don't do the "didn't eat veg so can't have pud"
That makes veg a chore and pud a treat. Just say "you're not hungry so you don't need more food!"

londonrach · 06/09/2017 21:52

I offer my one year old finger food (normal food you would eat but cut up). If not eaten it goes in the bin and nothing else given until weve eaten and she be offered fruit. Although she will eat a piece of toast. I think she outgrow puree around 8 months. Finger food is the way to go. My daughter loves feeding herself andmeans i can wash up etc in same room. Its hard op i really struggled. The day i gave up puree and just gave her food was the day she started eating. Dont think they like baby food as all her friends the same.