What do I say to this?

[teaandakitkat]

Ds wants to do an activity with 3 friends for his birthday then go to Pizza Express.

I texted round all the parents and got this reply from one of them.

"Dd would love to do the birthday activity but does not want to eat in Pizza Express. She deeply opposes large corporate chains and prefers to support locally owned eateries. Would you consider eating in xyz instead so that she doesn't feel excluded?"

This kid is 9.

Wtf? Sometimes something is so bizarre you're not quite sure how to respond.

I want to say "Sorry, birthday boy has asked to go to Pizza Express so that's what we are going to do. You can collect your dd before we go in if she won't join us".

AIBU? I'm not, am I?

Surely you either go to the party that's on offer or you don't? The host doesn't arrange the party to suit individual guests?

Brilliant. Bet they are a real barrel of laughs as a family!

Love to know what her actual response was OP!

so much hammering for a child that might be more politically aware than the average (depending on the household).

Text back: How about Nando's?

Give you time to reconsider what, exactly? Her fucking sanity?

The woman's a nutjob. Keep your distance, OP. The cheeky fuckery is fast turning into an epidemic, and we don't wants it! 👀

But there's a distinct lack of social awareness (certainly on the mother's part), Molly...
That matters, actually.

Ive known plenty of kids that age or even younger with similarly held ethical beliefs, pretty standard amongst the kids in woodcraft folk I use to help run

I can understand why this might be your own personal preference but why try to impose it on others? Especially for a child's birthday. Nuts!

Oh no, I'm stressing out now, DD is having a bowling and pizza party this weekend.... Am I being crass and causing global warming?! It's papa johns pizza, is that okay?

Not BU. Different if a GENUINE food allergy etc but even then, even nasty corporate chains usually have SOMETHING on the menu. Its birthday boys choice, as its his party. Since when do 9 year olds understand or even care about socio-economical issues? :D No brainer lol.

I took a few kids to McDonald's once when DD was about 9 and one went and stood outside as he was so uncomfortable about being there!! Left the little shit out there until I'd finished my Big Mac Meal.

Where on earth do you live OP?!?!

Wow! Rofl, this parent sounds like Malcolm and Cressida from Viz's Modern Parents comic strip! No YANBU, what you texted OP is absolutely fine, just ignore the pretentious bugger and stick with what you said in your text.

And I'm stressing about whether DD's Muslim friend likes cheese. We're going to Flip Out for DD's birthday and they only do ham or cheese rolls. At least being Muslim is a legitimate reason.

I feel so sad for this child. She's going to be excluded from so much because of her mother's behaviour. I have morals and hate chains too but would never dictate where someone else should go for their own birthday.

I agree with you .
I do not agree with people who raise children with a view that they have a right to change someone else's party !

Wow! This takes being entitled to a whole new level! Tell her you have already paid for both venues and if her dc is averse to having fun with friends and couldn't possibly tolerate eating a slice of pizza to help your dc celebrate his special day then he has lots of good friends on the reserve list. Hope you have a great day

Did the birthday meal/activity happen? Was there any further incident/communication?

I found myself wondering if the girl didn't want to eat there for some other reason (food issues) and this was a hamfisted way of trying to save face (failing miserably obviously)

Either way I'm glad you responded so well. No way should anyone dictate a birthday party

I'm veggie dc aren't they'll decide when they're old enough but I do explain to them why we can't go to aquariums, swim with dolphins, etc when on holiday they are under 6s and I offer fun alternatives e.g. Whale watching. I would really struggle to let them go to a circus with elephants for example for someone's birthday but I think ultimately I'd let them choose though really conflicted. If the decided against it I would 100% not try and change birthday boys plans. I'd thank for kind invite and say we were busy.