What do I say to this?

[teaandakitkat]

Ds wants to do an activity with 3 friends for his birthday then go to Pizza Express.

I texted round all the parents and got this reply from one of them.

"Dd would love to do the birthday activity but does not want to eat in Pizza Express. She deeply opposes large corporate chains and prefers to support locally owned eateries. Would you consider eating in xyz instead so that she doesn't feel excluded?"

This kid is 9.

Wtf? Sometimes something is so bizarre you're not quite sure how to respond.

I want to say "Sorry, birthday boy has asked to go to Pizza Express so that's what we are going to do. You can collect your dd before we go in if she won't join us".

AIBU? I'm not, am I?

Surely you either go to the party that's on offer or you don't? The host doesn't arrange the party to suit individual guests?

So rude of her! That is ridiculous- I think your suggested text response is perfect.

😂😂😂

The mother is bonkers, I pity her poor kid

Your reply is perfect

Do you have a plan of what you will say when the mother changes her mind about declining the invite?
I wouldn't be surprised if she lets her go to one of these evil places "just this once" to appease the DD, who is upset she can't go.
If she's cheeky enough to send such ridiculous requests to an invite, you can bet she'll be cheeky enough to expect you to fit her DD in just like that or drop the another guest.
Have a plan so you're not caught on the hop.

She is giving you more time to reconsider WTF.

I see many a battle ahead for this 9 year old when all her mates are going to McDonald's

My friend did a similar thing with a party of her DD's friend. I did try to warn her against being "that" mother. She went ahead with her batshit reasonable dietary requests (prefences not medical requirements), all was fine as loads of them had different requirements so the party mother planned a "BYO picnic" insead of it being catered

Stay away from a village in S.Derbys with a very well known public school. Their state primary school is entirely populated with "those" mothers! Still, keeps them away from normal people I suppose :o

The stories I could tell....not least the furore over the coconut shy and the kid with a mummy diagnosed peanut allergy

I'm with GoodMorning, in not liking chains but not expecting other people to change their birthday plans to suit me.

It's basically attention-seeking behaviour. Fair enough if you decline an invite on (weird, poorly-informed) ethical grounds, we all get to choose what we will and won't do when it comes to social events. But to start badgering a near-stranger to accommodate your requests at inconvenience to themselves, just so you can show off about how righteous you are, marks you out as a wanker.

How ridiculous to ask you to reconsider the venue!

One of my 14yos is going through a 'big companies are bad' stage so turned down an invitation to a dinner in a chain restaurant at the weekend. Didn't even enter her slightly self-absorbed (in a typically teenage way) head to ask for the venue to be changed.

How did the batshit rude bonkers mum word her decline and did you reply?

True story

Scaryclown, who are 'shitty bowling alley, pizza hut, macdonalds type parents'?

Presumably parents that allow their children to be involved in decisions about their own birthday celebrations? How shitty

And I'm not sure the wine list is of much interest to a 9 year old...

"Yesterday 21:11 JWrecks

Sorry this is mostly irrelevant, but I am really enjoying the mental image of the incredibly politically involved and opinionated 9 year old girl, who is "deeply opposed" to anything other than wearing the wrong clothes! Hilarious!"

I mean I'm sure the actual words 'deeply opposed' were from mum, but have you seriously never met a child of that age who's had strong feelings about a moral issue? Most people I know who are veggie went veggie before the age of 12. And I know a fair few kids through my Labour Party circle (I'm not active in it just have several friends who are political activists) whose kids were informed on political issues from a very early age due to it being a point of discussion in the house. Heck, my 7 year old nephew could give reasons to vote labour and not Tory and he's not the only kid I know with strong views at that age. Sure you can say it's down to the parents but it's irrelevant why they feel that way. All parents pass on their beliefs to their kids initially and some kids don't care, others very much do.

I feel sorry for her DD, I'd have been mortified at that age if my mum had been so rude.

Weird Mum is entitled to her principles but she could have just politely refused without making OP feel bad about choice of venue - and trying TWICE to get her through change venue is out of order IMHO.

I was told by a school mum that her DS, who was coming for tea, was vegetarian. Saw him weeks later at a BBQ party tucking into burger and sausage. Said to host Mum OMG (child) is eating meat but he's vegetarian. Host said he's always eaten meat. Confused, I mentioned to child's Mum who said we're not vegetarian but I know (host mum) buys meat from the local butchers, I thought you would buy yours from the supermarket so safer to say he was vegetarian.
Again, entitled to their own principles but I'd rather she'd been honest upfront or at least been a bit less judgemental about my shopping habits (ironically we do buy our meat from same local butchers, but that wasn't really the point)

Honeymoon

The cheeky cow!

How rude and uninformed! Pizza Express is a perfectly decent company which will be employing local people. It's not hard to find the corporate policies on their website (investor relations > responsibility). E.g. "PizzaExpress is committed to ensuring responsible social, ethical and environmental practices within its own operations and its supply chains". You've done very well to stay so cool OP!

I would retract the offer completely!

To be fair Sequence no company puts on their website "we are big bad capitalist bastards who like to screw over babies in Africa".

Your reply is perfect - it's your kids choice where his party is held - poor kid of that bonkers mother bet they'd relish the chance to eat pizza express - at a later date regardless of whether said kid comes or not I would bluntly point this out to her - call a spade a spade - RUDE

What KILLJOY50 said and then book The Ivy or something really swanky and expensive where everything is organic/ free range

Bumping into her in the playground is going to be fun now

Poor kid!!!

An (admittedly grating) phrase used by my DS' Dad is 'A principle is only a principal if it costs you.' So if this 9 year old really is convinced that Pizza Express is eeeevil, then she is learning the valuable life lesson that you can stick to your own principles but not force other people to indulge you just because you think you are in the right. She doesn't want what the hosts are offering, so she doesn't go, end of.

And I am both amused and horrified at the stuck-up cunt referred to in a PP who claimed her DC didn't eat meat so he didn't have to eat 'common people's food'.

What's the activity most party actives I can think of bowling cinema ect are large chains does she not object to those too???or kid is going to miss a lot of parties growing up if the mum thinks people will change venues for her