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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to give DC a snack on way home from school?

289 replies

chainedtothedesk · 06/09/2017 03:53

Quite happy to let them snack once we are home but my DD (9) has asked that I arrive at school gates to collect her with a snack. She's noticed other parents arrive with a snack and says she's hungry too at the end of the school day (often doesn't eat the fruit I give her for morning break though!) And doesnt want to wait the 15-20 min it takes to get her home. I suspect hunger doesn't come into it , she's just hoping she is more likely to get a bag of crisps or similar, rather than toast, if they eat on the way home rather than once we get there.
Today we saw a family eating a chocolate bar and small pother of Pringles on the way home which prompted the question (though not for the first time)
AIBU to make my DC just wait a little until they get home and suggest that they have something a bit healthier than chocolate and crisps?

OP posts:
Xoticdreamz · 06/09/2017 08:06

Oh I don't see it as a "treat" by the way, just satisfying a kids hunger on a fairly long walk home after a no doubt busy day at school.

Crunchymum · 06/09/2017 08:06

Want to add my DC is a very fussy eater and often comes out ravenous but snacks are only provided if we aren't going straight home. We'll have a snack at 3.30pm at home and then dinner at 5.30pm.

treaclesoda · 06/09/2017 08:11

I'd love to know the secret of getting a child to tell you about their day at school. Neither of mine ever have. My eldest is 11 and it is like pulling teeth to get her to tell me who she sits about. The six year old gets into the car and says 'I know you are going to ask, and yes, I did have a good day at school'. And that's it.

I read in awe of the children who sit at the dinner table and chat. Neither of mine chat, and it's not from lack of interest from their parents, they just don't want to chat about school. The only thing I hear about school is twice yearly at parent teacher interviews.

treaclesoda · 06/09/2017 08:12

That should say 'who she sits beside'.

Having said that, I never would have told my parents a word of what happened in school either, so I should't be surprised I suppose.

ragz134 · 06/09/2017 08:16

YANBU. My kids are 7, 10 and 11 and they don't have snacks at all any more. They used to be hungrier when they were smaller, but these days they are more than capable of waiting until meal times. Snacks tend to be a holiday treat now.

Natsku · 06/09/2017 08:21

DD tells me what happened at school so long as I ask the right questions as if I just ask "What did you do at school?" she inevitably answers "Don't remember" so I ask instead what she did when she arrived, did she do a 'tehtävä' (not sure how to translate, a bit of work maybe), who did she play with during free play, what did she have lunch, what did she do after lunch etc. and I end up with a pretty detailed picture of her day.

Only works on days I'm home when she comes home though as by the time I come home from work on other days she's forgotten everything and is too busy watching cartoons to tell me anything.

coddiwomple · 06/09/2017 08:24

There's no need whatsoever

why not? I am hungry in the afternoon, and I'd rather have a snack than eat too much in the evening. The kids have lunch around 11:30 or 12, then more school, more sport and diner 7 hours after their lunch.

Snacks by themselves are not evil, it's about balance and the full picture. I know kids who have pasta at school, more pasta at home in the evening or jacket potato, shepherds pie, everything in huge portions... . They might not snack, but that's not a terribly balanced diet, is it. (and their portions are far too big!)

Do what work best for your family. When I was at school we all carried a morning snack in our bag, and had a big afternoon snack after school. No one was remotely overweight, looking at schools pics, we were all skinny little things, and seem to have become slim adults.

treaclesoda · 06/09/2017 08:27

I've tried all the leading questions too. None of them worked. Did you read to the teacher today? 'Why?' Because I want to know what you do in school. 'Why do you want to know what I do in school?'. Ok, did you have PE today? 'I can't remember' Who do you sit beside at the moment? 'The same person I always sit beside.' Who's that? 'I don't know her name'. Hmm

They could withstand questioning from Columbo himself and not give anything away!

Holidayhooray · 06/09/2017 08:28

Oh coddi I agree. I was ravenous and I always bring snacks straight after school. They don't stop moving and i doubt how much they eat of school dinners in the excitement of being with friends.

But in terms of a life or death need. I was picking up a previous poster's point

blackteasplease · 06/09/2017 08:32

Kids do get very hungry after school, especially primary school. I would think if she wants a snack it's reasonable to bring one. Bring fruit, carrot sticks, cucumber or even a small sandwich rather than crisps or something that would be an expense and unhealhlthy, although the occasional treat is fine.

I don't think it should be seen as a virtue not to eat or not to feel hungry within a relatively short time. Little and often is generally seen as much healthier than saving oneself up for a big meal. Children have smaller stomachs so it's not realisitic to keep them to fewer, bigger meals - and probably more likely a cause of obesity to do this as their stomach will enlarge. So healthy snacking is probably a good thing.

Also no inherent virtue in eating at home rather than straight after school.

Why make her wait and possibly feel grumpy rather than giving her a healthy snack if she wants it?

I used to bring a snack for dd in yrs r, 1 and the beginning of 2 but then she stopped wanting it (now yr 4). But if she started wanting it again that would be fine!

ilovegin112 · 06/09/2017 08:32

At my dn yr 6 and dn yr 4 school they get the same size portions for dinner as the reception children, most of you would hate this school as I see loads of snacks at home time. If somebody told me I couldn't eat anything after my lunch till dinner that would be told to bugger off

Pizzaexpressreview · 06/09/2017 08:37

I see virtue in sitting at a table at home rather than walking along the minute you've walked out of school. I'd say one was definitely better than the other!!!

But I'm more than happy that others believe differently:)

Mittens1969 · 06/09/2017 08:40

I do occasionally bring snacks with me, shock horror! There's also a shop opposite the school and they do spend their pocket money in there from time to time. But they do eat their tea a bit later than some of the other children, at between 5:30 and 6.

But my two are very slim, fit and love gymnastics and other sports.

MrTrebus · 06/09/2017 08:40

Eugh people are so judgey. Do whatever you want for your child. Of course kids are going to say "can I do/have this" because their friends are doing/having it. It's just up to the parent to decide if it's right for them or not. No one is right or wrong so stop judging.

alibubbles · 06/09/2017 08:41

I'm with the wait until home. I can't stand seeing people eating in the street, why is there this constant need to graze all the time?

My big bugbear is toddlers scoffing crisps in a pushchair, children are getting obese, there is no need for constant snacking. ( Medical issues aside)

So many children have eating problems as they are never actually allowed to feel hunger, they are constantly topped up with food. I have had many parents say can you keep offering little Johnny food every so often as he never eats a proper meal, erm, it's not surprising really.

I stop all snacks and have the child eating proper 'sit down at the table' meals in days.

coddiwomple · 06/09/2017 08:43

well, yes, ideally it's better to sit down to enjoy your food, and snacking on the go is not the best BUT most kids do not go home, and do not sit down. They walk or jump in the car to go swimming, play rugby, dance or whatever activity they have that day. ( and some of us do not want crumbs in the car )

If you have a leisurely afternoon, by all means seat down, eat and chat. If you are just on your way to something else, eating something whilst walking is better than nothing.

Some kids have tea at 5pm, others at 7 (sometimes 8 for my eldest). You can't compare 2 children just because they are in the same class.

PetalHead · 06/09/2017 08:50

I do it – it's a behaviour thing for us. DD is hungry when she gets out of school and she's much less likely to get stressed and difficult on the way home if she gets some food. Also IME they soon get to an age where this is no longer cool, so it won't be forever.

Natsku · 06/09/2017 08:50

They could withstand questioning from Columbo himself and not give anything away!

Grin Reckon I must be lucky with DD, think she likes to tell me what she did because she just likes to talk. Although when she was in daycare every single day she would tell me she just sat in the corner with the spiders all day doing nothing.

notarehearsal · 06/09/2017 08:51

Read snack as smack, came on for entertainment

PetalHead · 06/09/2017 08:53

Also we aren't overweight either. Snacks don't make people overweight per se - it's the type of food you eat (or the balance of types) and whether you eat too much and don't exercise. If you are walking home from school (or as pps have said going on to a sports activity etc) then a snack is probably a good thing.

kateandme · 06/09/2017 08:55

coddiwomple brilliantly put on both above posts

I despair at the world and how it relates to food.kids.bodies.weight.good.bad.fat.thin.now.later.small.big.

Whinesalot · 06/09/2017 08:55

My kids never needed snacks in between meals. Fruit was always available and of course they would take up offers of biscuits or crisps if offered but they were never offered as a matter of course.

I don't understand this constant need for snacking.

Orangeplastic · 06/09/2017 08:56

I see virtue in not continually having food in your mouth - 3 meals a day is better from a dental hygiene perspective - even fruit can cause decay.
Seriously thought my dh used to panic about hunger - bang on about his low blood sugar, like he was going to die if he didn't get food. He started the 5:2 diet and realised the world did not end when he felt hungry, it's ok to feel hungry for a little while - even for kids - the human body is designed to cope!
I am glad all these snacks are now being burned off so easily and that all this snacking is going to lead to a healthier approach to eating - should see the end of childhood/adult obesity soon then!

minipie · 06/09/2017 09:04

Depends on the child surely.

DD1 is nearly 5, whippet thin, very fast metabolism like her dad, slow eater so may not finish her school lunch and gets hangry easily. She will need a snack at the end of the school day. (But it will be a healthy one, nuts cheese carrots etc).

However a 9 year old with a more normal metabolism probably wouldn't need a snack.

BroomstickOfLove · 06/09/2017 09:14

I think that it's perfectly reasonable to accept that different people have different food requirements. DS (smallish, thin, muscular build, very active in short bursts and then sedentary) would eat a snack if he was offered one, but would be happy to wait until later. DD (fairly tall, very thin, very fidgety) seems to need to eat all the time unless I ply her with protein (I'm the one with a chicken drumstick
at the school gates) and eats more than I do. I think that she'd do very well as a hunter gather living mostly on raw fruit and veg with occasional roast meat.