To be so upset by this

[Blindsided49]

I'm sorry this is so long winded..

DH has been doing some work with a clothing retail and visiting their head office. There's a staff shop on site selling sample sizes off cheap. He's bought load of stuff for himself and a couple of friends. Incidentally, sample sizes of this particular brand would never fit me!

Anyway, one of his female colleagues asked him to buy her some things and she'd pay him back, with instructions to buy shorts t-shirts etc. He selected the items. Fine. We then went on holiday before he'd seen her. Whilst on holiday he received a message from her saying thanks for buying them, he asked if size was ok, she replied by sending him pics of herself modelling the clothes. It was really short shorts, tight t-shirts and a mini dress. I was right next to him when pics came through so I couldn't help but see them. I was a bit WTF?? I said I wasn't too impressed by this.

Anyway, it played on my mind for the rest of the holiday, so when we got home I snooped (I know, I know. I've never done it before but something was bothering me about this). I found messages between them, pretty bog standard stuff except for a few;

One after their Christmas do with him saying he was sad he hadn't managed to chat to her and then saying, "I'll be thinking of you (over Christmas) x"
Her asking him to buy her the clothes and she'd pay him back. He replied with, "well if I'm buying you clothes I'll get the shortest of short skirts I can find!"
Then he'd carefully laid them all out on OUR bed, photographed them and sent the pic with "did I do ok? No tiny skirts ☹️"

There is nothing there to suggest anything has actually happened but I am fucking gutted. It's just so intimate. He knows I've seen the messages and he knows I'm really upset. He's admitted that he finds her attractive but she's just a friend. It's made me feel utterly shit about myself. She's 10 years younger, lovely figure. Her FB feed is full of her posing in swimming suits etc. I don't think she's in the least bit interested in him but why send him pics of herself modelling the fucking clothes HE chose for her???

I've asked him loads of questions and will continue to do so. It's like picking a scab.

Am I overreacting? I just don't know how to feel.

The "I'll be thinking about you over Christmas" was the worst part for me. That suggests something else is going on.

I expect the posters calling the other woman "tart" and "slut" think Wayne Rooney is a hero

Any fucker I've not called her s slut or a tart but do you not think women single or not to have some level of decency when they know a man is married? I agree 100% the husband is in wrong and technically spesking she hasn't but does commen decency not prevent you sending a married man pics of yourself in any state of dress!

I think the female's behaviour here is not the point. Q

Random Q

It's quicker to take one photo of what's in front of you. It's not quicker to take a series of selfies in different outfits. That's quite a bit of effort.

AF I often agree with you, but that Rooney remark makes no sense.

It makes sense to me

I think it is. I don't think anythings happened in fairness opI think he's having a midlife crisis or something cliche and she is lapping up the attention and free clothes! His behaviour is disgusting and the real issue but hers is deplorable too really,.

It does to me though I don't agree women should take no blame wen the know someone is married. I think you mean it's easier to blame ow rather than deal with issue of person we love being the person responsible for betrayal and there I agree with you it allows people a way out.

Deal breaker for me, I'm black and white about these things now.

Some women crave male attention indiscriminately, even from married colleagues 10 years older, just because they can. And some men are creepy sleazeballs who don't respect their wives. Not a good recipe.
Gutting. So sorry OP. Some people could work through this, maybe you are one of them. Personally, I value myself even if others won't, this behaviour shouldn't be acceptable. Life is too bloody short.

Oh, I forgot: send her your PayPal email for quick payment of her clobber. Freebies they ain't!

I feel for you op, I really do.

The problem is when they've broken your trust it's very difficult/impossible to get back

I'm pretty sure if a bloke sent you pictures of him with his package showing in tight speedos he would hate it, double standards right there

This street isn't one way ffs, he needs to give his head a full on wobble

I really feel for you OP. What a terrible shock.

"This woman is not a tart or a slut because shd wears short clothes, or shares pictures of them."

I agree & I'm glad that someone has said it.

She has sent him pics of her wearing clothes that he chose for her.

After him saying sorry he couldn't chat at the Christmas do, would be thinking of her,would buy the shortest things he could sad face at "no tiny skirts"-it kind of pales to nothing imo.

Because

I disagree with earlier posters saying she must be interested, she could easilyJust like the attention.

He's flirting with her, and he clearly fancies her, I would totally be upset about it. This mind is not on you. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

I wouldn't be angry about the clothes but the tiny skirts promise and the thinking of you thing would make me raging .

Clearly it's flirting. The trouble is the more you state that he can't do x or y the more tantalising it ends up being for him. Perhaps not her if you say she's naturally extrovert or playful. I'd be upset too. I hope he winds his dick in before he makes a twat of himself.