Outgrowing names

[Happydoingitjusttheonce]

In dentist waiting room yesterday and dental nurse calls "Alfie". A near 6ft 16 year old with a tracksuit and key wig rises from his seat. He probably made a cute Alfie when he was a toddler. Do kids outgrow cutesy names?

How can names like Maisie and Molly be outgrown? I know elderly people with these name s and some of the boys names mentioned and they haven't outgrown them?! They are typically elderly people's names that have caught on and are now in fashion again!

almostajillsandwich you know a child called Blaydon???

Blaydon is a town near where I live and not one I'd expect a child to be named after

Honestly, there are times when I fear Mumsnet is entirely populated by solidly middle class people from Tunbridge Wells whose main ambition in life is for their DC to become accountants.

And this thread is one of them.

I lived in a rich, trendy, very upper middle class bit of London (I was woefully out of place there, tbf) and the baby names were outrageous. Parents falling over themselves name DC something unique and different; made up names, cross sex names, appropriated from other culture names were all the rage.

The baby group I went to sported Orson, Hebe, Beau, Hamilton, Milo, Arlo among many others. None of those parents gave a flying fuck about what it would look like on a job application, because they knew it wouldn't be an issue.

Likewise, the industry I work in, which is quite creative and trendy (and also lucrative) would be much more excited about the prospect of an applicant called Tilly Mae than an applicant called James.

Horses for courses people. Don't feel you need to name your child Catherine in preparation for her big 4 job. There's a lot more to life.

When I was an infant school we had an elderly dinner lady we called Auntie Molly. So I agree names come back around but with 2 generations in between their popularity I think the associations change.

Laurie Marlow, that is an excellent point. I am can only express my view through my own lens, which is professional services.

Are you being unreasonable? With regards to the outgrowing of names... no. Not really. I completely "get" that a toddler called Kitty is going to want to be called Katherine when she's 40. I've lived that life, thanks, and I wouldn't want to do so again.

With regards to the "ket wig", on the other hand... Yes. YABVU. My son - like so many others - has a form of autism, and he has long-ish hair... because it takes a monumental amount of stress to get him into a barber's chair. For him. Not me. I'd love it if he could have a short hair style, but understand that it frightens/stresses him incredibly to have it cut. I'd never heard of a "ket wig" before today. But yes: my son's hair is long... and it curls (naturally) because it is long... but he doesn't do drugs.

So yes, you're very unreasonable to judge boys with long-ish hair. Would you judge a girl the same way for having short hair? Or, actually, for having long hair? Why should one gender be told they can have long hair and another that they can't for society's "urban tagging"?

My children both have names which they can either use fully, or shortened versions of - but I have been very understanding of their need for either, over the years. As an employer, I've tried to meet the individual applicants face-to-face before I judge them because whilst yes; we do become our names... we also don't tend to subscribe to cliches of them.

I've employed a Mike, an Alfie, an Abbie and a Katie (actual names not shortened versions) in the past. And they've proven more reliable than Robert, Timothy, Sebastian, Mary and Eliza.

Look at the person before you judge them.

Names aren't necessarily the "full story".

And don't judge any child on the length of their hair.

Both my daughters' names have been mentioned on this thread. I had no idea they were considered low class. I chose them because I liked them. How ridiculous and snobby.

Contrary, I think you are reading too much into the ketwig reference. It is used in my region (and apparently only my region) jokingly. Think Harry Enfield's "calm down calm down" sketch accompanied by curly wigs. It's not serious. That said this Alfie was ordering a supply of cannabis in his pre-dentist phone call.

I think it's more what he said that signified his lack of cuteness!

Interesting thread, OP, but with some unbelievable comments!

I agree that most of us have our own assumptions and/or bugbears in relation to names. My one is "younique" spellings, epecially "ee" at the end of a name, e.g. Finlee instead of Findlay. Plus the name Demi-leigh (in all its variations).

Yes, I judge the name, but it doesn't affect my judgement of the person. Because ultimately, it's the parents who chose the name, and despite what you think you can assume about little Demi-leigh's upbringing, you have no real idea at all. She may have worked really hard to be where she is, and I guess she wouldn't apply to the OP for a job is she didn't have the qualifications. So to dismiss her CV (or anyone's with the "wrong" name, obviously) on those grounds is extremely unfair, and absolute snobbery. You keep saying that's just the way you work, OP, but you could change your attitude. But you've already said you won't.

I mean, what do you think they'll do? Turn up drunk? Not know how to behave in a professional environment, or speak properly? Start a punch-up? What, realistically, could they not do to your satisfaction that a person with the right name could do, assuming the same eduation/experience?

I'm also aghast at the person who said only French names can acceptably be double-barrelled. So all the Anne-Maries and Carol-Annes can gtf, yes?

Or that if you have no French heritage you shouldn't use a French name? Implying we should only use names from our own heritage? In which case the English would only be allowed Anglo-Saxon names, but ironically, if someone did choose an old traditional Anglo-Saxon name like Hamo for their baby, the OP would probably reject his CV for not being a "proper" name!

Anyway OP, tell me, do you read past the name to see what their experience/qualifications are before rejecting? Or do you just see the name Micky Jones and out he goes? Without ever knowing that he discovered the cure for AIDS and invented the luck potion?

But if you'd heard what he was saying coffeeslave.

I know, I was just taking your sentence as it was written Kids today, with the temerity to talk before they go into the dentist!

No. I'd say get over yourself. Maybe people hate your name or your childrens names too for a non-reason. I think lots of bland middle class traditional names are boring as hell and only suit oap's but I'd never not employ someone because I thought their name was too cute ffs. Maybe people will judge the Catherine's and George's of the world as simply too boring then?

Seeing the mention of a Milo upthread.... Less people growing out of names, it's impossible to know if names will be later associated with awful people.... I feel sorry for any Milos around at the moment.

Horatio, I've witnessed punch ups and turning up drunk at the office. And one lad who used to go to the loos at lunch to snort cocaine. These were not qualified professionals (who would only do all that on their own time ). If have 5 cvs I'll read them all through. If I've 100, I won't. The cv won't go in the bin, just back to Hr. Another team will be passed the same cvs and make their own choices. If the cv is typed in a decorative font, I won't even read the name.

Milo? Have I missed something?

Amanduh, people are welcome to hate my name and my child's, I don't care if they do. They can react to it as they wish. Maybe they already have. How would I know.

ComputerUserNotTrained When I see Milo I think of Milo Yiannopoulos, darling of the "alt right" and all round awful person

Ah, thanks

I think Milo is commonplace enough these days to escape the stigma. And besides, he'll be forgotten before too long.

I always think of Alfie as an older man's name. It always reminds me of Michael Caine.

I was surprised when it became popular again. I do like it though.

2 threads in two days mentioning the name Beau.

Maisie and Molly are cutsie pet names to me. I've never met an elderly woman with either name. Perhaps they're more common in England.

I've never thought of Damien as being an embarrassing name (although it's not one I'd choose for my son). It was a pretty standard name when I was at school, amongst boys born between around 1970 to 1980, so both pre and post The Omen.

I know two separate sets of brothers - Damien and Gabriel. So, perhaps it was religion and not pop culture that was the inspiration?

I think you're doing your team and yourself a disservice by allowing unconscious bias to affect your hiring decisions, op. A diverse team is a stronger team. Typos and other signifiers are much better indicators of role fit than name. And I don't believe that you can't sort through 100 cvs without doing that. I can easily sift through and half a pile of cvs by simply applying basic criteria strictly. Perhaps you need some more support and training in recruitment?

I am in possession of a name which has led some people to express surprise when me - a white,british, middle class woman turns up. Apparently they usually expect me to be older, not British, and/ or black. Which tells me more about them tbh. It's not a cutesy, foreign, or particularly weird name. It's just not very commonly used nowadays (even with the vogue for 'old fashioned' names!)

My niece was picked for a part time job working at a major law firm for her uni placement. My sister lives in a rural village in Cambridgeshire, and my niece's name is Elizabeth.

She was told a week or so in, that several other people applied, but she was picked over them because of her name and where she was from. Eg, Elizabeth who lived in a cottage in an upper-middle class village in Cambridgeshire, was a preferred option to Chardonnay or Britneigh-Leigh who lived in a flat in the middle of Wolverhampton.

As another poster said, this thread illustrates perfectly how social mobility remains constricted. Having said that, I suspect even a Jacinta would have been rejected if her home address was a council flat in Wolverhampton. It's all about recruiting People Like Us. How satisfying for the niece to know that it was all that tremendous effort and hard work she put into her....name and address.... which clinched it for her .

Also, when I am Queen of the World I will imprison anyone who uses the idiotic word 'cutesy'. Cannot stand it. And can anyone explain to me what makes Maisie cutesy (aaargh!) when Sophie is not? Clearly it's not the 'ee' sound?