Ex has the children 2 nights a week, plus a couple of afternoons until after tea during term time. He is on a very low income - probably less than someone on minimum wage who works f/t and is subsidised by his mother. He is workshy and has run up debts of about £8K since leaving the family home three years ago.
He has just received his divorce settlement from me (£12K) and mentioned in passing two days ago that he had booked himself a holiday next week, leaving me short of childcare for the two nights a week he picks them up. As a teacher I have no flexibility around work and have no family and friends around to ask either. I have an opening while he is away that will have me at work until 9pm. He did this two years ago too - just doesn't give a fuck. The days he has the dc have been in place for 3 years, though there's no court order or anything official.
I priced up the cost of the extra after school clubs I will need to pay for, and the rough cost of a school mum who sometimes has the dc for some cash as I'm hoping she'll cover the open evening. I wrote it all down and emailed it to him - it comes to about £100. I also asked that if he does this again he sort it out himself as it's not my job to arrange it, never mind pay for it.
Today when I dropped them off and asked for the money he refused to pay and asked when he is getting his child support. I nearly choked and he said he's entitled.
I have just used the calculator as if I was him - so put in my income as a payer and that I have the dc three or more overnights a week and it says he's entitled to £48 per week?! He buys nothing for the dc apart from what they eat with him. Nothing. He has been known to text me that he has no pants for one of them rather than spending a fiver himself. They spend the majority of their time with him on screens, he takes them nowhere, barely reads with them, rarely does music practise despite being a musician, goes off on holiday without a thought for childcare arrangements, contributes nothing to trips, uniforms, parties, activities, refuses to take them swimming despite the fact that they are both weak and I can't swim. Takes ds1 all the time to cricket practice and matches and does fuck all to make up for it with ds2. Just adds very little to their lives imo - though of course they love him and a lot of this is none of my business, though some is.
Now I may have to pay him £200 per month?? I have just added to the mortgage in order to pay him off, have to save for another payout he will get when ds2 is 21, pay for everything for the dc , have no savings set aside for their futures and now this.
AIBU to think it can't be right and to not pay it if he takes it further?