AIBU to ask DS to cook dinner

[NachoAddict]

Ds is 12 and st going into second year of high school.

I am a single mum of three and work 30 hours which means one day a week I don't get home until gone 6. on that day DS lets himself in after school.

So WIBU to ask him to cook dinner for the family on that day? He is fairly comfortable in the kitchen as in he can make pasta and sauce, cheese on toast, bacon & eggs etc but only ever cooks for himself.

I was thinking that he could start off with easy things like frozen chicken and chips, pizza, sausage & Mash and progress on as I teach him. We are talking Spag Bol, Chilli, Jerk chicken, Pasta bake, nothing too difficult.

I can't decide if it is a good idea or me shirking my responsibilities and I should let him be a kid.

I would still cook fresh meals from scratch the rest of the week.

Does he enjoy cooking? If he's happy to do it then let him, if he doesn't like it you might have a bit more difficulty asking him to do it.

Do you have a slow cooker? Could you chuck something on in the morning of that day, and then maybe all he has to make is accompanying bits (pasta, rice, etc)

Me and my siblings had to start cooking family meals from 12, just because my parents thought it was good to teach us to cook.

Definitely get him to cook! He will enjoy it. And it's such an important skill.

From the age of 13/14 I cooked tea for the whole family every night. My parents didn't get in until after 6 and I had a curfew of 9pm. The earlier we ate the longer I could stay out. Did me no harm!

I think as long as he is comfortable in the kitchen that is totally fine. My mum was a working single mum and I often cooked dinner, probably from a similar age. It has helped me become a good cook and it never bothered me. I learned from an early age that in a family everyone helps out with all the housework tasks.
As a siden note: maybe teach him some simple home cooked meals like spag bol or a basic stew or jacked potatoes and a salad, rather than getting him to cook "junk food"? Not judging at all, btw. I just think it could be a great learning opportunity about healthy home cooked food at the same time?

I think it's fine and good practice for him.

I would avoid anything that involves boiling water (e.g. pasta) or similar things that while they probably wont go wrong could be very serious if they did.

Sorry, just noticed you were planning to do teach him "proper" meals anyway!

Definitely get him to cook. It's a great life skill!

100 years ago people would have their 12 year olds ploughing fields and sweeping chimneys to keep the family afloat. Boiling pasta won't hurt him!

If he's cooking for himself on the days that you work late, he should be cooking for everyone. He's doing the work anyway and it's good that he learns to cook, contributes to the household and thinks about more than his own needs.

Great idea I also had my youngest son cook dinner for us, he enjoyed it so much he's now a qualified chef. Only problem now he works such long hours I do all the cooking again

Absolutely fine! DH and I certainly intend that our two will be able to cook simple meals by the age of 12. He's part of a family and household and this is an age appropriate responsibility.

It's an essential life skill. Annoying when young men come up to uni and can't even make a baked potato.

When my mum went away with my sister when I was six, leaving me with my dad, she made a big deal out of getting me excited to 'cook' for myself, (heavily supervised) whilst she was away. From age 11ish, my sister and I got our own suppers, either together or separately.

It's fine. I plan to do the same with my kids. Plus tortellini and sauce is one of my favourite meals, not least for taking about 20m to prepare however many people you're feeding.

All far better than my MIL's approach (still making every single snack and meal for her 17 year old son), and my boyfriend, who has no confidence in the kitchen whatsoever.

My DS was confidently cooking dinner once a week at that age, he then went on to do hospitality and catering GCSE. I taught him and both DSS to cook so that they would be able to fend for themselves and make good husband's.

I did on a Wednesday from that sort of age as my mum worked ft and did a degree pt and was at uni until late. Cooked for my dad who got in Kate and younger sibling. Made me feel grown up and line I was helping. I think it would be a good thing, start simple and practice together first.

I okay as long you leave him instructions in case he gets stuck. I left my daughter to bake some cup cakes once she did ask questions and I told her to follow the instructions on the box. As long as you leave instructions and you are able to call him while he is cooking. Then go right ahead and let him do it.

Baked spuds and fillings would be a good start.

Kate should be late!

You could make dishes together when you are at home, cottage pie etc, then freeze it to eat on the evening when you're late home. That way he's made it but not having to do it on his own.

I think cooking one day a week is fine. It is important that he learns life skills.

I was another who had to cook for the whole family every day from aged 12 (as well as other housework). Boy did I resent it, which is why I never made my DC do it. They helped around the house when asked but I never took advantage like my parents did.
One day a week though seems fine if he's happy with cooking.

RhiWrites What sexist rubbish. I have two student DSs and they are very competent cooks. I taught them to cook before they went to uni, unlike many of their flatmates of both sexes who couldn't do a pot noodle.

Not sure when, but at some point during secondary school it became my job to make dinner for the family on a Wednesday. It was the same meal each week though. Spaghetti bolognaise made with a jar of dolmio.

Dad always worked till 5. At whatever point this was mum had to work till 5 on a Wednesday (even though she was part time and left earlier every other day) as she had to take her turn manning the helpdesk for a half day.

I did have a brother too, but it became my job. It was fine. I only had to cook spaghetti bolognaise from a jar for 4 people and have it ready to serve at 5.30.

I'd do a few trial runs with you in the house until he finds his mojo. I was cooking for the family from age 13. Still remember my brother at 18 managing to cause a fire grilling burgers (he got distracted and was watching TV in another room). But if he's been taught how to cook, where to get the ingredients, and not to get distracted, then do it. To be fair the others must all take a turn when they turn 12. If I were you I'd make it 2 turns, then you'll only have to cook once a week! (Unless there is a big age gap).

Does 12 year old son also look after your other 2 children or are they with childminder whilst he comes home alone?

In my family we all had to cook from about 12 years old. Whoever was home first had to start dinner. Good life skill for him but make sure all those eating give him lots of thumbs up, otherwise the novelty might wear off.