To resent saying 'Excuse me'?

[Hundredacrewoods]

If I'm on a crowded bus/train, where people are standing, and an inconsiderate person is obstructing an empty seat by either placing their bag on an empty seat, or sitting in the aisle seat blocking an empty window seat, AIBU to not want to say 'Excuse me', because:

1. It puts an onus on me to have to say/do something to alter their behaviour, when the onus should be on them to not do it in the first place.
2. If I say 'Excuse me', and the person then moves, it feels like they're doing me a favour - they're not. They're doing the bare minimum, what they should have done in the first place.

I've been thinking of alternate phrases that put the focus on them and their inconsiderate behaviour, rather than imply I'm asking them a favour. What do you think of 'You can see there are people standing' or 'What's wrong with this picture?'

What is wrong with common courtesy in everyday life?

But common courtesy is not taking up a whole seat for your bag when there are people standing

If someone asked me "What's wrong with this picture?", I wouldn't understand what they were talking about.

But common courtesy is not taking up a whole seat for your bag when there are people standing

So why stoop to that level.

"please could you move your bag".

Job done.

You could just say 'hi, please could you move your bag' or 'hi, is someone sitting here'

I normally just clear my throat very loudly.

Now that's one I would definitely ignore. Despite the fact that, if my bag is on the seat next to me, I usually move it if someone even vaguely looks like they might want to sit there.

Oh well. Packed bus in tourist city today. I got on and there were no empty seats so I politely asked two passengers with a suitcase on a seat between them if I could sit down.
I was met by a flat refusal and "Where are we going to put our luggage"?

I still wouldn't make oblique comments to try to get people to move but as the bus went on, leaving people at bus stops because it was full, I wondered how they had the brass neck to continue as they were when there was a luggage area not far from them.

It depends whether your objective is to get a seat or cause a row. If it's the first one 'excuse me' is perfectly functional. If it's the second then one of your phrases would do nicely. Or maybe get down on your knees and ask the bag if it would mind moving up so you can sit down 😂

I said to one upstart you just sat on my granny!! ,

What's wrong with this picture???

It's about a mile too far up your arse I'd say.

Stand while a fucking bag has a seat

Well ehrm, no, surprisingly enough, I'd just say excuse me, I'd like to sit there, No fuckings, no cunts etc, but you can curse like the worlds ending if it makes you happy,, .

Not pointing out what you want. How do you expect people to do what you want? You are that person cleaning all the dishes viciously whilst expecting everyone to help.
Noone is actually psychic. It may be you are a thoughtful attentive person on public transport. It might be they would be happy to move l. You sound like you enjoy mind games and such too much. You're overthinking it.

Do a Mr Bean on it and Catch their bag and fling it off at the next stop. When they run to retrieve it, sit down with a smug smile ...Then report back to us.
I remember a rather entitled mner saying she used to block seats with personal belongings to stop people sitting near her. It was comical - the hypothetical situations she was going to have to go through to defend the empty seat. It's a pity it didn't make it to 'classics', it was very amusing.

I find being polite tends to have a better effect than "Oy you, shove up!"

I'd be far more responsive to the above than "what is wrong with this picture?"

Nobody would understand "what is wrong with this picture?"^ for a start and if/when they did, I doubt it would elicit the instant epiphany and cap doffing the OP is looking for.

I commute on the train every day and I agree with you, OP. It's a massive issue.

Bigger than climate change, probs.

Was anyone tempted to try "What is wrong with this picture" on their commute home this evening?!

Plenty of reasons why people might need or prefer an aisle seat though:

Might need to dash to the toilet (pregnancy / morning sickness).
Might be getting off at the next stop.
Might be getting off at a small station where the train only stops briefly.
Might have a sore leg or back and need to stretch, or long legs, meaning an aisle seat is more comfortable.
Might have a mobility issue which means it's tricky to get into and out of the window seat.
Might have anxiety issues about not having a clear exit.
Might be keeping an eye on large luggage at the end of the carriage.
Might be a group of three with one sitting across the aisle from the other two.

Nothing intrinsically wrong with putting a bag on a seat either, although if you notice the train is filling up then of course you should move it. Some people are in a world of their own though and might not notice.

I say, "move your bag, please". No "excuse me" or "sorry" or "thank you". I don't want to sound like a supplicant. It's always the same bloody people on packed commuter trains, hoping for two seats to themselves.

I can tell from the OP's post that she is severely narked off with the same thing. No need to give her a kicking about first world problems or tell her that she is weird or fixating on stuff. She is allowed to be irritated.

"Where are we going to put our luggage"?

I could give them some choice suggestions.

I was met by a flat refusal and "Where are we going to put our luggage"?

I think I'd have picked it up, dumped it on their laps, and said "Not my problem".

There wasn't enough room to grab it otherwise I might have done.